Anyone who proudly proclaims, “I don’t own a TV.”
Anyone who talks to you about “personal branding.”
Anyone who uses the phrase “disrupt” while describing their startup.
Anyone who works in advertising.
Anyone who works in integrated marketing.
Anyone who yells at a waiter.
Anyone with a Kickstarter.
Artisans.
Athleisure enthusiasts.
Avant-garde composers.
Avid hunters.
Avowed atheists.
b.
Bad listeners.
Bad tippers.
Brand loyalists.
Bros.
Building contractors.
c.
Capitalists.
Catcallers.
Celebrity Chefs.
CEOs, CFOs, COOs, etc.
Chatty Uber drivers.
Cigar aficionados.
Clowns.
Comedians.
Conspiracy theorists.
Craft beer enthusiasts.
Cultural appropriators.
Curators.
d.
Dudes who stand around checking their phone between sets at the gym.
Dudes who wear leggings beneath their shorts at the gym.
Dudes who still do Borat impressions.
f.
Floridians.
Foodies.
Frat guys.
g.
Gamblers.
Gossips.
Greg. Fuck that guy.
Gun enthusiasts.
Gutter Punks.
Guys who wear fedoras.
Guys who wear those stupid wide-brimmed hats.
Guys with too much product in their hair.
h.
Hackers.
Heavy breathers.
Hipsters.
Homophobes.
House-flippers.
Hypochondriacs.
i.
Influencers.
Interrupters.
Investment bankers.
ISIS sympathizers.
j.
Junkies.
l.
Lawyers.
Lifers.
Litterers.
m.
Magicians.
Men who work hard, but play harder.
Men’s Rights Advocates.
Mixed Martial Artists.
Most Goths.
Most people at your gym.
Most Southern Californians.
Most Southerners.
n.
Neckbeards.
o.
Oversharers.
p.
Parents who think their child is fucking perfect.
PDA enthusiasts.
Pedophiles (obviously).
People who are always talking about “disrespecting the troops.”
People who ask “Who’s going?” when you invite them out.
People who check their phones mid-conversation.
People who complain about splitting the check evenly at a group dinner.
People who complain about spoilers.
People who hate babies.
People who hate dogs.
People who love Charles Bukowski.
People who only talk about their job.
People who post inspirational messages on social media.
People who Snap you the same thing that’s on their Story.
People who treat their animals like their children.
People you’ve met several times who don’t remember your name.
Performance artists.
Podcasters.
Police officers.
Politicians.
Porn enthusiasts.
Portfolio managers.
Positive people.
Pregnant women.
Pro-Lifers.
r.
Racists
Reality TV stars.
Rich people.
Rock critics.
Russians.
s.
Screenwriters.
Serial killers.
Serial texters.
Short dudes. They’re usually dicks.
Snobs.
Social media managers.
Soundcloud rappers.
Steampunks.
Stoners.
Street performers.
Suburban kids with biblical names.
Superfans.
SUV owners.
Swingers.
t.