Maybe you didn’t think you could survive the agony of losing a loved one, but you made it through that dark time. You’re still standing.
Just like our sheroes—women like Hillary Clinton, like Maya Angelou, like Yusra Mardini—we’re all capable of digging deep, tapping into our reserves of grit and grace, and achieving more than we thought possible. But sometimes we forget that we have this ability. We forget our own strength.
Here’s my assignment for you:
Write down a list of your most impressive achievements. You can call it your Grit List, your Badass Brags, your highlight reel, or your “Hell Yes! I Did That!” List.
Read back your list whenever you doubt your strength. Refresh your memory. Remind yourself, “Oh yeah. Actually, I’m strong enough to handle anything. I can achieve anything I set my mind to. This list is my evidence. I’ve got what it takes.”
Temporary Failure—or Permanent Regret?
Just before I signed the paperwork on my first Barre & Soul studio, my mind started racing with all kinds of terrible worst-case scenarios:
“What if this is an awful mistake? What if nobody wants to sign up and my classes are empty? What if I can’t ever pay back the loan I took out to finance the studio? What if I have to dig through dumpsters to find stale bread loaves to feed myself and my kids?”
All of those “What ifs?” blew into my mind like the tumbleweeds in the hauntingly empty studio of my nightmares.
I had to give myself a major pep talk—just like you might talk to a friend who’s panicking before a big date, a speaking gig, or a job interview. Here’s what I told myself:
“If this risk doesn’t work out, then the absolute worst-case scenario is that I’ll be broke—not dead; not in jail—just broke. I’ve been broke before, and I survived. I could survive it again if I needed to. It would suck, for sure, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world. I could get through it.”
I also reminded myself that if I didn’t take this risk, I would always feel disappointed in myself for not trying. I would rather feel the temporary sting of failure than live with permanent regrets.
Write & Discuss:
The Worst-Case Scenario
Think about one of your current goals. If it doesn’t work out, what is the absolute worst-case scenario?
If you found yourself in that worst-case scenario, what might you do to start improving your situation? What would it take to get things back on track?
That worst-case scenario might be pretty rough. But how will you feel if you don’t try at all? What would that be like?
Imagine you just got an email from a friend who’s thinking about pursuing a big, exciting goal. She’s nervous. She’s doubting her abilities. She’s unsure if she can handle all the risk. She’s feeling all kinds of emotions. She really needs a pep talk. What would you say to her? Write an encouraging message for your friend.
Whatever you’d say to that friend…you guessed it…that is what you need to say to yourself.
The Right Person Is You. The Right Time Is Today.
“I’m still pretty young. I’ve got plenty of time.”
“I’ll start on Monday. OK, uh, maybe next Monday.”
“There’s always next summer.”
“Maybe later, once life settles down a bit.”
“Things are just so busy right now.”
“It’s not the right time.”
“I can handle it later.”
These phrases seem so innocent, but they’re not. They’re dangerous. These phrases become beliefs, and these beliefs keep us in a holding pattern—procrastinating, stalling, putting off important decisions and action steps until a later date.
I spent my twenties telling myself, “I’m still pretty young. I can do it later”—among many other excuses. But one day, I woke up and realized that I was burning through year after year of “laters.” I was going to blink and be thirty, then forty, then fifty, then sixty, and beyond. I could feel time accelerating with every passing year. And meanwhile, what was I doing with my life? What was I contributing to the world? What was I building? What type of legacy was I creating? Not the one I wanted, at least not yet.
At a certain point in life—for me, it happened just before my thirtieth birthday—we have to face the uncomfortable reality that actually, no, we can’t necessarily do it later. We don’t have all the time in the world. We have today—and today is always the right time to move forward.
“The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago.
The next best time is today.”
—Chinese Proverb
Whatever kind of tree you need to plant, don’t wait. Plant it today.
Sara Mora | SaraMora.me
She Owns It: Sara Mora
Allow me to introduce you to my friend Sara Mora, a young woman who seriously owns her goals. At twenty-two years old, she is an activist and a social media influencer. She is a sought-after speaker at immigrant rights events because of her work as an extraordinarily dedicated, smart, and compassionate advocate for immigrant rights and for women. She is also the elected co-president for the Women’s March Youth Empower national cohort. Her thousands of followers have been a tool for Sara to truly advocate and speak out via social media regarding the many critical issues currently being decided in the halls of government. Sara has given speeches and led marches on more than a dozen occasions across the country and has authored acclaimed opinion pieces that have shaped the debate on the DREAM Act both in New Jersey and nationally.
Andrea. Have you ever set a goal that made you think, “Yikes. Can I really do that? Am I capable of that?” What was that goal, and what’s the status now?
Sara. Yes. Honestly, I feel like a big part of what I do involves taking risks that seem to be a stretch or too much to handle. However, about two months ago after brainstorming, I concluded it was a logical time for my main online platform to turn into a call to action instead of just one of motivation/inspiration only. This would mean using every project and bit of content in a totally different way and speaking on my platform with an urgency for action versus pure enthusiasm and motivation.
I’m only two months in, so while there is so much developing, I was definitely able to reach my main goal of keeping my followers on board through the transition. I am still actively working on engaging people and gaining everyone’s trust so as to get my audience to engage. The transition has exceeded my expectations, thankfully.
Andrea. Do you set new goals every year, like on January 1st? Or do you set new goals every season, every month, or every week?
Sara. At one point in time I set goals every year. Now I set goals every month as I encounter new projects and my network grows.
Andrea. Is there a big goal that’s been on your mind for a while that you haven’t announced publicly yet? What is it?
Sara. Yes, I want to write a book, and I am working to develop an app.
Andrea. Imagine a woman with a huge goal who’s feeling paralyzed about how to take the first steps. If you were sitting down for coffee and an encouraging chat, what would you say to her?
Sara. I would tell her to visualize what she is looking to create. After visualizing, break down