Belonging to a close-knit faith community exposed Daniel to many supportive adults who knew him and his family well. John, his father, was his Boy Scout troop leader, and said, “A lot of people knew him since he was born, so they had him figured out.” Nancy, his mother, described a rocky journey with others who didn’t quite understand her son.
He did OK in preschool because it was a “parent co-op” setting with just 24 kids, a teacher, and six different parents in the classroom who all knew him. His teacher simply said, “He just marches to a different drummer.” But in regular school they weren’t flexible and then the real problems started. He’s rigid—his teacher can’t be rigid too! In sixth grade, the school district talked to his psychologist and placed him at a special education school that worked with children who had been unsuccessful in regular school. The staff there worked with him instead of against him. He stayed three years then transferred to regular high school. He was our fifth child in that school —they’d worked out the bugs with our other kids so they just said, “Tell us what you need!”
Daniel and his family also had the help of professionals, both for diagnosis and treatment. A clinical psychologist evaluated him and then met mostly with Nancy to help her get through difficult challenges throughout the years. Daniel also attended social-relational skills groups where he was able to make friends and progress socially.
When it came time for Daniel to attend college, both parents recommended BYU due to its reputation of expecting high standards both academically and morally, as well as its Accessibility Center. During college, Daniel used their assistance in several ways (which will be detailed later). Upon graduation he also used the resources of the CA Department of Rehabilitation, which his mother Nancy had learned of through a support group for parents of children with autism.
Daniel and both parents realize that challenges remain, primarily in the area of self-motivation and planning. They each commented on how generous their son is, and how he wants to make enough money to donate to charity. They know he’ll continue to need support and guidance to reach his goals. His mom credits his siblings with continuing to be a support to him and says, “We’re not giving him a choice. He will move forward. We’re not giving up.”
SARAH, 36
Wildlife Biologist, B.A. in Environmental Science Diagnosed with Asperger’s
Sarah is a good example of how mentors, teachers, and family can nurture special interests that later grow into a productive career.
My dad loved nature. He shared it with me by taking me on hikes and telling me about the plants we saw. He taught me which ones were edible and how they were used by the Native American culture. Our neighbor, Armida, also taught me to love and value plants. She had a vegetable garden and had me do weeding or other gardening tasks, and then she’d teach me how to cook basic meals with the vegetables. And I had two teachers in middle school who were great influences on me.
Even though Sarah often struggled academically, by focusing on her special interests and by using coping skills she learned from others, she was able to graduate successfully with a degree that has translated into a job she loves.
My Sunday school teacher, Michele Jones, was a positive influence by teaching me how to be kind to myself as well as to others. She provided structure every Sunday and in addition to being there for patient advice, she also intentionally exposed me to sarcastic humor and jokes and helped me “get” them. This helped me in school when I had to work in groups with other students who naturally communicated in this manner.
Sarah also learned emotional coping skills from observing and interacting with others.
I’ve struggled with anxiety since I was a child. It’s getting better, and I’m able to do my job in spite of it. I’ve learned to slow down and think about gaining order and control of myself. When I saw the HBO film Temple Grandin, I was suddenly relieved of my shame about being different. I used the coping skills shown in the film to help me with my anxiety, my confidence issues, and my sensory sensitivity. I realized that like Temple with her squeeze machine, I wanted a feeling of being held by something predictable and controllable. I use tight jeans and fitted shoes, and I place my hands on my stomach or lower back.
My grandma Barbara used to tickle me on my back when I was a little girl. I found this soothing, and to this day I love massage and its calming effect on me. Grandma also taught me how to be considerate of others and socially appropriate. I used to sing during meals and she put a stop to that. She also taught me to laugh at myself and at my mistakes.
In her job as a wildlife biologist, Sarah is responsible for monitoring wildlife populations and environmental compliance. In addition to childhood influences, she credits her success to more recent mentors as well.
My pathway to getting my first wildlife job was through the back door. My stepmother had an acquaintance, Anne Wallace, who was a wildlife biologist in environmental consulting. I set up an informational interview with her. After that meeting, I sent her an email every month for the next year just to keep in contact. She eventually offered me a shortterm job as an independent sub-consultant to her. I did that for only about a month and then her business partner offered me my next job, which was for several months. Later, with this experience, the contacts I had developed, and a reference from Anne, I applied for and was offered a job with a different environmental consulting firm.
Anne was a mentor and has become a friend as well. I appreciate her positivity, kindness, and integrity, which she passed on to me. With her help, I was able to get into my career field, which meant, and means, so much to me.
My autism helps me at work. I am distracted easily, so I am distracted by the presence of every wildlife species moving, sounding, or occurring in my area. This makes detection of wildlife much easier and benefits me in my job of gathering a species list. I have good attention to detail and the ability to do monotonous tasks, like monitoring an animal, for long periods of time. My need to follow rules also helps me because in my job there are many firm rules that must be followed.
I actually met my husband through my work, and he has been my trainer and mentor as well. He has been patient with me, helped me with job contacts, given me wildlife work that was exciting and rewarding, and also helped me refine my social manners.
PATRICK, 26
Aspiring Voice-Over Artist Diagnosed with Asperger’s
Patrick began working with Debra when he was 18 and continued until age 26, when she retired from active practice. He has made great strides in his independence and life skills. From initially spending his days either sleeping or isolated in his room playing video games, he has come full circle and is now pursuing his passion in doing voice-over work, a field that is the direct result of a childhood obsession.
He has had the support of several critical mentors along the way—his parents, his beloved Aunt Mary, his voice coach Cammie Winston, and even a well-known voice-over artist in Hollywood.
His aunt describes him as an infant and toddler:
Even though Patrick was her first son, my sister Ginny knew from the beginning that he responded differently from other infants. He screamed bloody murder at the top of his lungs. Visually, his world seemed to be different, and things that didn’t bother others frightened him. He couldn’t distinguish between himself and objects. If he spilled milk, he would scream and cry and be angry at the milk. If he fell out of a chair and knocked up against a wall, he would hit the wall and yell, “bad wall!” He was so easily overwhelmed. Once he touched a tree with moss growing on it and went ballistic, screaming and crying. He hated the sensory feeling. I tried to explain the purpose of moss and how it was part of God’s natural world. He screamed, “I hate God! Why did he make these things?”
One of Patrick’s obsessions as a toddler was watching TV, and he particularly loved commercials and cartoons. He would sit and stare endlessly and soak it all up. What no one realized at the time was that he was memorizing all the voices and actually consciously practicing how to precisely