The Forgiveness Solution. Philip H. Friedman

the number, the less grateful you are.

      Copyright 2002 by the American Psychological Association. McCullough, M. E., R. A. Emmons, and J. Tsang. “The Grateful Disposition: A Conceptual and Empirical Topography,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 82, no. 1 (2002): 112–127. Adapted with permission.

       How Forgiving Are You?

      The next questionnaire is very important because it measures how forgiving you are in general, not just how well you can forgive a particular person or yourself on one particular occasion. It is called the Heartland Forgiveness Scale and it was developed by Laura Thompson and her colleagues to help people discover how forgiving they are in three important areas: forgiving themselves, forgiving someone else, and forgiving uncontrollable circumstances.

       Because I will be asking you to fill it out again later you will want to make a number of copies of it before filling it in.

      You can also take the Heartland Forgiveness Scale on the Internet by going to www.forgivenesssolution.com. Click on the link for “questionnaires” and then on the link for the Heartland Forgiveness Scale. You will not only be able to fill out the Heartland Forgiveness Scale online but also have it scored automatically for you.

       The Heartland Forgiveness Scale (HFS)

      Directions: In the course of our lives, negative things may occur because of our own actions, the actions of others, or circumstances beyond our control. For some time after these events, we may have negative thoughts or feelings about ourselves, others, or the situation. Think about how you typically respond to such negative events.

      On the line next to each of the following items, write the number (from the 7-point scale below) that best describes how you typically respond to the type of negative situation described. There are no right or wrong answers. Please be as open as possible in your answers.

       _____ 1. Although I feel bad at first when I mess up, over time I can give myself some slack.

       _____ 2. I hold grudges against myself for negative things I've done.

       _____ 3. Learning from bad things that I've done helps me to get over them.

       _____ 4. It is really hard for me to accept myself once I've messed up.

       _____ 5. With time, I am understanding of myself for mistakes I've made.

       _____ 6. I don't stop criticizing myself for negative things I've felt, thought, said, or done.

       _____ 7. I continue to punish a person who has done something that I think is wrong.

       _____ 8. With time, I am understanding of others for the mistakes they've made.

       _____ 9. I continue to be hard on others who have hurt me.

       _____ 10. Although others have hurt me in the past, I have eventually been able to see them as good people.

       _____ 11. If others mistreat me, I continue to think badly of them.

       _____ 12. When someone disappoints me, I can eventually move past it.

       _____ 13. When things go wrong for reasons that can't be controlled, I get stuck in negative thoughts about it.

       _____ 14. With time, I can be understanding of bad circumstances in my life.

       _____ 15. If I am disappointed by uncontrollable circumstances in my life, I continue to think negatively about them.

       _____ 16. I eventually make peace with bad situations in my life.

       _____ 17. It's really hard for me to accept negative situations that aren't anybody's fault.

       _____ 18. Eventually, I let go of negative thoughts about bad circumstances that are beyond anyone's control.

       Heartland Forgiveness Scale Scoring and Interpretation

      There is a square or circle next to each of the blanks where you have written your responses to each item. You will now write a score for each item in the circle or square that is next to that response.

       Score the Items with Squares Next to Them: For each item with a square next to it (items 1, 3, 5, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, and 18), your score is the same as the number that you wrote. To score each of these items, simply write the same number for your score that you already wrote for your response. For example, if you wrote the number 6, your score would be 6, and you would write the number 6 in the square next to your response for that item.

       Score the Items with Circles Next to Them: For each item with a circle next to it (items 2, 4, 6, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15, and 17), the scores are not the same as the number you wrote. For these items, the scores are “reversed” (e.g., a response of 1 is scored as 7 and a response of 7 is scored as 1). Use the list of scores given below to write the correct score next to the number that you wrote in response to each of these items. For example, if you wrote the number 6, your score would be 2, and you would write the number 2 in the circle next to your response for that item.

       Calculate and Interpret Your HFS Subscale Scores and HFS Total Scale Score

       FORGIVENESS OF SELF SUBSCALE

      Calculate Your Score: Add together your scores for items 1 to 6. The result is your Forgiveness of Self