The Forgiveness Solution. Philip H. Friedman. Читать онлайн. Newlib. NEWLIB.NET

Автор: Philip H. Friedman
Издательство: Ingram
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Жанр произведения: Социальная психология
Год издания: 0
isbn: 9781609251000
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Your Score: Your score on the Forgiveness of Self subscale indicates how forgiving you tend to be of yourself, with higher scores indicating higher levels of forgiveness, and lower scores indicating lower levels of forgiveness.

       A score of 6 to 17 means that you are usually unforgiving of yourself.

       A score of 18 to 29 means that you are sometimes forgiving and sometimes unforgiving of yourself. That is, you are about as likely to forgive yourself as you are not to forgive yourself.

       A score of 30 to 42 means that you are usually forgiving of yourself.

       FORGIVENESS OF OTHERS SUBSCALE

      Calculate Your Score: Add together your scores for items 7 to 12. The result is your Forgiveness of Others score._____

      Interpret Your Score: Your score on the Forgiveness of Others subscale indicates how forgiving you tend to be of other people, with higher scores indicating higher levels of forgiveness, and lower scores indicating lower levels of forgiveness.

       A score of 6 to 17 means that you are usually unforgiving of other people.

       A score of 18 to 29 means that you are sometimes forgiving and sometimes unforgiving of others. That is, you are about as likely to forgive others as you are not to forgive others.

       A score of 30 to 42 means that you are usually forgiving of other people.

       FORGIVENESS OF SITUATIONS SUBSCALE

      Calculate Your Score: Add together your scores for items 13 to 18. The result is your Forgiveness of Situations subscale score._____

      Interpret Your Score: Your score on the Forgiveness of Situations subscale indicates how forgiving you tend to be of negative circumstances, events, or situations that are beyond anyone's control (such as an illness or a natural disaster). Higher scores indicate higher levels of forgiveness, and lower scores indicate lower levels of forgiveness.

       A score of 6 to 17 means that you are usually unforgiving of uncontrollable situations.

       A score of 18 to 29 means that you are sometimes forgiving and sometimes unforgiving of uncontrollable situations. That is, you are about as likely to forgive uncontrollable situations as you are not to forgive uncontrollable situations.

       A score of 30 to 42 means that you are usually forgiving of uncontrollable situations.

       TOTAL HEARTLAND FORGIVENESS SCALE

      Calculate Your Score: Add together your three scores for the Forgiveness of Self, Forgiveness of Others, and Forgiveness of Situations subscales (or add together your scores for items 1 to 18). The result is your Total Forgiveness scale score._____

      Interpret Your Score: Your score on the Total Heartland Forgiveness scale indicates how forgiving you tend to be of yourself, other people, and uncontrollable situations. Higher scores indicate higher levels of forgiveness, and lower scores indicate lower levels of forgiveness.

       A score of 18 to 53 means that you are usually unforgiving of yourself, others, and uncontrollable situations.

       A score of 54 to 89 means that you are sometimes forgiving and sometimes unforgiving of yourself, others, and uncontrollable situations. That is, you are about as likely to forgive as you are not to forgive.

       A score of 90 to 126 means that you are usually forgiving of yourself, others, and uncontrollable situations.

       You can write your subscale and total scale scores in the boxes below.

       Heartland Forgiveness Scale

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      Thompson, L. Y., C. R. Snyder, L. Hoffman, S. T. Michael, H. N. Rasmussen, L. S. Billings, L. Heinze, J. E. Neufeld, H. S. Shorey, J. C. Roberts, and D. E. Robert, “Dispositional Forgiveness of Self, Others, and Situations: The Heartland Forgiveness Scale,” Journal of Personality 73, no. 2 (January 2005): 313–359. Reproduced with permission of Blackwell Publishing, Ltd.

      On the following page you will find a summary sheet that you can use to record your initial scores on these four scales. I recommend you copy the summary sheet so you can use it again later.

       Summary of Scores: Initial Assessment Scoring

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      A client of mine named April responded to all of the exercises in this book. You will read her comments a little later on. Here are her scores at the initial assessment. (Her scores at the fifth and tenth sessions are presented at the end of the book.) Your scores may be higher or lower than hers. Whatever they are is okay.

       SUMMARY OF ALL OF APRIL'S SCORES: INITIAL ASSESSMENT SCORING

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      CHAPTER 2

      Identifying Who You Feel Has Harmed You

      “[Forgiving] your enemies … is crucial. It's one of the most important things. It can change one's life. To reduce hatred and other destructive emotions, you must develop the opposites—compassion and kindness…. Forgiveness allows you to be in touch with these positive emotions.”

      —DALAI LAMA, The Wisdom of Forgiveness

      “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

      —MAHATMA GANDHI

      EVERETT WORTHINGTON IS ONE of the most prolific researchers and writers in the field of forgiveness and generously gave me permission to use this powerful forgiveness story.

      “I wish the youth who murdered Mama were here now.”

      I pointed to a baseball bat. “I'd beat his brains out.”

      It was late and very dark outside. What a New Year's Day. I could feel the hatred almost radiating from my face. Mike had just told Kathy and me what he had observed when he walked into Mama's house that morning—a frail, crumpled, lifeless, and abused body. The blood was spattered on the walls and two small pools of blood, one beneath her head and the other beneath her hips, were visible. The house was a complete shambles—broken mirrors, articles thrown everywhere, destruction all around. I was stunned. Numb. I could hardly take it in.

      We recalled the struggles and the good times. I was reminded of being interviewed on a radio call-in show. At the end of the interview the host said, “I think we have time for one more call and I think you're going to like this.”

      The soft, East Tennessee drawl of my mother came through the telephone to my ears.

      “Sonny,” she said using my boyhood nickname, “I've been listening to your interview. You're a good boy, Sonny.” I was forty-eight. It was a wonderful, warm affirmation from a woman who had put so much into my life. Now I knew I would never hear such affirmations from her again.

      When we arrived in Tennessee, the police could tell us little. “It looks like a burglary by some youth that went wrong. The youth probably did not know your mother was at home and she surprised them. She was struck