Unconditional love can come from the respect you give to the choices he makes in his life. This does not mean sticking around even if you are uncomfortable with his choices; it means you respect them as his own, whilst still making the best choices that suit your interests. The trick is to acknowledge the conditions you have inside, lessen them to a degree, talk about them, and find the conditional acceptance path. Stop the judging and critical tendencies and replace them with attention and love. To love unconditionally, first learn to embrace both his good side and his bad. Sometimes loving unconditionally can be as simple as becoming a realist; stop looking for Prince Charming and realise that Cinderella already has him!
To love unconditionally, give him the chance to show you his best side. Studies show that our expectations of people influence their behaviour. Similarly, your expectations influence your behaviour, according to the idea you have created of him. Depending on how you expect him to behave, you can encourage him to act accordingly. Use the power of expectation to influence him positively by adopting a positive attitude. By acting on a belief, you create a reality that matches your belief. Even when the original belief is false, you can make it come true.
Unconditional love is rare, hard to find and craved by everyone. By giving him a hint of devoted attention, accepting him for who he is, and meeting his needs, you put him in a ‘childish’ position. In some men, this may create nervousness and the fear of commitment, recalling a claustrophobic relationship that makes him want to run. Never make him feel that you are headed in that direction. For others, the feeling of dependency can lead to creating a need for independence. Yet the strong ties you have created keep him coming back for more, bound by the illusion of recapturing the motherly love he seemingly has lost forever, or never had.
To help him fall deeper, allow him to imagine your affection is permanent. If your attention is too focused, he may feel that you are constricting his freedom. Allow him to lose himself in the moment, experiencing the timeless depth of your feelings in the here and now. Sometimes pleasure is best when it is short-lived.
How to Make Him Fall in Love
Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense. –Helen Rowland
Emotions are the essence of life. It is assumed that emotions are uncontrollable, yet love and hatred can be controlled by coming to terms with what triggers them. Every man has basic desires or needs that must be met before he is able fall in love. If you do not seem to meet any of his criteria, you may not even be considered before you embark. Gather as much information as possible on him and his background. Making someone go crazy over you are sometimes as simple as giving him the feeling that you have what he needs or enjoys about himself. Appealing to his emotions puts you in a more powerful position than appealing to reason.
After satisfying our basic means of survival, the pursuit of happiness is one of the primary motivations in our daily lives. He works hard to maximise his enjoyable experiences. To conquer his mind and soul, work on intensifying the emotions he gets the most out of. Some men enjoy certain emotions, while others can’t stand them. Then there are those who are indifferent to them. Look into his unsatisfied desires, brought about by his inhibitions. Bring his deepest desires to the surface. Try to fill that empty space that is crying out for fulfilment. He will benefit from the source of pleasure. Make his dreams come true by feeding him the emotions over which he has the least amount of control. Every man has a need desperate to be satisfied. If you manage to validate his subconscious wishes, his emotions will be exposed and love will set in. The approach you take depends on who he is; you need to clearly understand him making every effort to live up to his most coveted of fantasies.
To appeal to men with different desires, you may need to assume many roles, which depend on the other person’s response to stimuli. To attract men from different backgrounds, all you need to do is take pleasure in performing. Do not become restricted by your own identity. Your character is made up of in-built behaviours which are possible to alter or develop through focus. Most of us want to instill positive change within ourselves. It is even better if we can make this change, with the motivation to become a more interesting and dynamic person. I am not suggesting to change who you are completely but become better version of yourself by being a flexible person. Never pretend to be someone you are uncomfortable portraying, just to please or impress him, it will come across unnatural and put him off. If you have to pretend at all, be vague and imply things indirectly; as it will be a challenge to maintain characteristics out of your comfort zone. You are capable of displaying many characters that are, in fact, part of your inner being. This is the essence of freedom, ‘to be flexible both in your body and soul’; you may choose to omit already embodied characters within you, depending on your circumstances.
If you have a firmly established personality and have a strong sense of identity, this book will allow you to learn about and highlight the desirable traits of your character and hide the undesirable ones. You will learn about the type of men who could potentially be drawn to your personality. It would be naive to believe that if he is meant for you, then he will tolerate your negative traits from the onset. Let him fall in love with your attractive qualities before showing him the negative ones. Someone who is completely happy with the way their life is going is less likely to fall in love. You can hone in on the feelings of discontentment that he harbours deep inside his soul. These may consist of feelings of unhappiness, inadequacy, lack of adventure, unrealized dreams or boredom with life. You have the capacity to fill this space with thoughts of you by becoming the answer to his prayers or by distracting him from whatever pain he may be experiencing.
Barriers To Finding Love
Do not seek love but instead break the walls you have built against it. – Rumi
If you face life with a closed your heart, you will still feel lonely, even if you live among thousands of people. If you have the courage to open your heart, even when living alone, you will lead a full life.
Some people are single because they panic at the idea of committing themselves to one person. They are afraid of the unknown, or cannot connect due to some internal inability. Where does this fear come from? Early childhood is a critical time in forming a personality and an emotional life, as anything learned at this stage of development is stronger and further resistant to change. The stronger the emotions experienced when the trigger was first learned, the harder it will be to weaken its impact. Emotional signals do not point to their source, so never jump to conclusions. Fear may have many sources; the guilty person’s fear of being caught looks just like the innocent person’s fear of being disbelieved. It is essential to your behaviour to gain greater self-understanding and self-worth, in order to avoid acting out of fear.
Inside every human soul are two opposing forces battling with each other: love and ego. Although both are required for one’s existence, they conflict with each other quite often. This is the point at which you decide what to keep and what to lose. The mind tries to control things due to its fear, and fear keeps you from finding love. To your ego, love seems dangerous, threatening and heartbreaking. It can incite feelings of rejection, conflict and therefore destroy your individuality and independence and resulting in pain. Given that human nature is designed to avoid pain, you or he may subconsciously avoid love.
Love, on the other hand, is associated with feelings of passion and a sense of belonging to another person or thing. Following your heart may at times result in embarrassing or uncomfortable situations. But doing so is not about being comfortable and not about getting approval. It is about achieving your dreams and fantasies. It is about finding and living your life to the full. It is about truly feeling alive and courageous.
Few have been taught by their parents or society to follow one’s heart. The ego is concerned with losing things or people you desire. Therefore, what others think of you becomes important, creating a duality between you and your heart’s true desire. Everything confirms that the world is separate from you. If you are separate, then by definition,