Bad Birthdays: The Truth Behind Your Crappy Sun Sign. Sarah Fu Christensen

of Geminis are straight-up sex symbols. Johnny Depp, Marilyn Monroe, Colin Farrell, Heidi Klum, and Angelina Jolie are all Geminis—plus Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, who sadly may no longer be sex symbols now that they’ve reached their grown-up status. These very good-looking men and women are able to flaunt their wares for the camera. Geminis can be very erotic, and that red-hot core translates through the camera’s lens and straight into the groins of fans across the globe. This star quality is unique to Geminis—no other sign boasts quite as much raw sexuality.

      Geminis are useful outside of the bedroom, too. They excel as musicians and athletes, proving that Geminis are able to tap into their talents, work hard, and nurture their craft. In the sports arena, world-class ballers Carmelo Anthony, Nate Robinson, and Allen Iverson were all born under the sign of the Twins, as were tennis stars Venus Williams and Anna Kournikova. Classic musicians Paul McCartney, Prince, and Bob Dylan are Geminis, along with composers Miles Davis and Danny Elfman.

      The dark side of the Gemini Twins can come out, though, and commit some truly heinous crimes. If Geminis don’t keep their mental health in check, they could unravel quickly and take a lot of innocent people down with them. Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber, is a Gemini, along with an absurd number of serial killers including David Berkowiz (the Son of Sam), Jeffrey Dahmer (head-in-the-freezer guy), Danny Rolling (the Gainesville Ripper), and Richard Chase (the Vampire of Sacramento). Wait, does the FBI know how high the chances are that the mass murderer they’re looking for is a Gemini? They must, right? Right?!