"I'd prefer a beer."
The host was called Eduard, but everyone called him Eddy. He was enjoying his new life on the mountain pasture to the fullest. From time to time his old company was sending managers to him to be coached. Eddy donated his fee to charity.
By the third bottle of craft beer, the sun had long since set behind the mountain. Patrick was about to tell Eddy about his background and the successes he had achieved on the way here. Then he said: "In terms of your successes so far, I keep recognizing certain strategies. Would you like to hear more about them?"
"Absolutely!" Patrick replied. "Let's go inside, though. It's getting chilly."
Patrick was absolutely amazed how accurately Eddy was able to analyze him after that short time. Patrick listened intently and kept asking questions. Eventually, the two men arrived at the meaning of life. And soon after, it was pitch black outside. Eddy offered Patrick to get some sleep in one of the tiny guest rooms. "I'll wake you at 3: 00," Eddy said. "Then you can start hiking to the summit. If you don't have a headlamp with you, I'll give you one. That way you'll see the sunrise at the summit. This is the moment of greatest clarity. It will blow your mind!"
"I guess there' s no use arguing," Patrick replied with a smile. He was tired but felt comfortable in a strange way. More comfortable than he had felt in a long time. "That's fine. See ya, good night!"
Which successes are more important to you than others?
In my previous book, Impact: How to increase your company's success through significant employee development, I quoted the famous first sentence from Leo Tolstoy's novel Anna Karenina, published in 1878: "All happy families are alike, every unhappy family is unhappy in their way." In Impact, I have demonstrated patterns of how families make themselves unhappy and therefore leave a lifelong mark on their loved ones. But is Tolstoy's observation also true in terms of happiness and success? Yes and no. At first glance, definitely. But if we look more closely, people are not only unhappy in very different ways, but also happy in different ways. We all have our own path to success and our success strategies, which depend on our personality structure. But we are usually not aware of this. You remember: Most people aren't even aware of their greatest achievements. Let alone reflect on their path to success – and ultimately their path to a happy and satisfying life. However, the differences actually start with how we evaluate the successes of our lives so far.
If Patrick's Rebel component of the Process Communication Model® looks back on his successes, he may be more interested in the Las Vegas wedding than his graduation. The wedding was pure romance, fun and joie de vivre! School probably was not. On the other hand, if the Persister part of Patrick takes a look at his biography, he may be more impressed by the fact that Patrick lived certain values. Patrick was willing to protect people from violence and literally took a beating himself. But maybe Patrick doesn't see himself through the values-glasses as much as another person with a higher percentage of persistence in their personality would. Rather, the situation had just as much to do with alcohol and overconfidence for him.
Now, if you look at your own successes: What is particularly important to you? And what is maybe less important? Again, it all comes down to your own perception. It does not matter which successes have brought you particular attention and recognition. Or what is generally considered particularly desirable in society or the business world. The question is: What matters to you?
Exercise: "Temperature curve" of your greatest successes
Grab the paper on which you have arranged your greatest professional and private successes along a time axis using sticky notes. If you have done the exercise digitally, then please pull the picture back up on your device. Now weight your successes according to the intensity that the event in question has for you personally. Move the sticky notes with the achievements that are most important to you higher. What is less important to you is moved down. You can keep the separation between professional and personal life or you can eliminate it.
You will eventually end up with a type of "temperature curve" of your successes. Look at their spikes. Do you immediately recognize a pattern, of what is especially important to you?
Here are some typical trends of the individual PCM "floors": People with a certain personality element enjoy/value different aspects of success:
● Thinkers enjoy successes that seem meaningful to them and worth the time invested.
● Persisters are completely in their element, if they are true to their values.
● Promoters are proud when they've achieved something great with their efforts.
● Harmonizers value success with and for others the most.
● Imaginers are happy if their imagination and creativity were involved.
● Rebels prefer to remember things that made them go "Wow, that was great!"
Where are you most likely to recognize yourself? Where do you see yourself a little and where maybe not at all? You may now have clear indications as to which of the six "floors" of the PCM you are particularly inclined to and which could be your base.
As soon as you have identified which successes are particularly important to you, you will almost automatically have the first indications of the way in which you would like to achieve your successes. Behind what satisfies and fulfills you the most, your personal success strategy is often already apparent.
For example, you have already read that some people believe that they owe their successes to other people above all else. If the highest spikes in the "temperature curve" of success for this type of person now have to do with other people, i.e. if it makes this person happiest to have achieved something with and for others, then one thing seems clear: success and interpersonal contact are inseparable in this combination. The professional success strategies of an empathic person are very likely to have to do with teamwork, mentoring or an intense feeling of cohesion. And personal happiness here would be incomplete without a partner, family or friends.
The personality aspect oImaginer forms a certain counterpart to this, as he needs peace and quiet and time for himself to be successful. For example, some poets are entirely absorbed in their creative writing and experience themselves as successful, regardless of whether their work sells millions of copies or is only read by a few.
Decoding your personal success strategies
Feedback from another person who reflects your successes will give you the best insight into your previous success strategies. It is always amazing what accurate and helpful feedback people provide each other during my seminars, even though they often did not even know each other a few hours ago. We are all experts for other people! However, there is often a blind spot when it comes to ourselves, and we fail to see even the most obvious things. On his hike to the summit of the Drachenkogel, Patrick accidentally meets Eddy – because the universe in the form of the author of this book wants it that way – who provides him with feedback on the patterns behind his successes.
Eddy initially listens attentively to Patrick. This is the first and probably most important step. The people giving feedback offer their full attention to their conversation partner. Then they give back what they have perceived. Eddy does not use any methods or testing tools, he simply trusts his intuition. That's what we all should do! There are no "wrong" observations here, only honest feedback. So, you do not need experts to provide you with feedback. Ask a colleague, your mother, a golfing friend, your tax consultant – it doesn't matter. The only prerequisite is that the person is willing to take some time for you and to listen to you closely at first.
Exercise: Feedback from another person on your greatest successes
Choose a person who is allowed to give you feedback and ask them to take at least 30 minutes of their time. Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. The person