N.B.! The lifestyle when you do for others the things that they can do by themselves leads to gain of excess weight!
You feel offended. You give them everything and get…
– Nothing!
– Nothing. Then you comfort yourself with eating. Besides, you feel guilty because no matter how hard you try to cater to every whim of others, you’ll never be able to please everyone. It’s getting more and more annoying. No leisure, chronic fatigue. You suffer from chronic fatigue, but you don’t sleep enough. As a result, headache or heartache appears. This, in turn, makes you feel anxious. You comfort yourself with food. Again. It’s a vicious cycle.
N.B.! Rule seven.
A slim person knows how to treat others and himself properly. He is aware of his physical and mental needs, allocates enough time, money, and energy to meet these needs.
A slim person does not do for other things that they can and must do by themselves.
N.B.! Rule eight.
A slim person stays slim because he does not transfer responsibilities for his life and his weight to other people and circumstances.
Olga Vladimirovna Tsyganova, 28, economist, lost 110 lbs It was hard for me to say “No” but I kept learning. Of course, sometimes, it didn’t work. Even now, it doesn’t always work, as I am a kind, helpful person by nature. But it is really useful to learn how to do it at least sometimes. I am very sociable, and it always hurts me when my pals and me go separate ways. I do everything to keep them in my life, but I do not allow anyone to get a free ride on my back. There was a recent instance when I told “no” to a person very dear to me. So what do you think? He has not gone out of my life; he knew that it’s hard for me to fulfill all his requests. The person just said that he would never ask me for help again. At first, I had a bitter feeling inside of me. I was afraid of losing him. Imagine my relief and joy when I realized that our communication had not changed at all! I have plenty of such examples – no need to cultivate feelings of anger and resentment if we can change the situation. You just need to learn how to refuse requests if you do not see any benefits for yourself. Any relationship is based on mutual contributions, not on the efforts of only one person.
Reasons of gaining excess weight
– Now let’s talk about traditions and their effect on excess weight.
How much do we usually cook for Christmas Eve and New Year party?
– Plenty.
– We put mayonnaise almost into every dish, bake cakes.
– Then people visit each other with baskets full of food. You try from my basket; I try from yours.
– ☺
– Ten days that shook the world from the 25th of December to the 5th of January.
– Over ten days.
– Precisely! Some people start to celebrate even earlier. They not only eat far too much, but they also drink alcohol! As a result, happy and swollen people return to work after vacation. Some gain fifteen pounds, the others – twenty pounds.
– ☺
– By the way, most of this weight is due to the fluid accumulated in edemas. But there is some fat too!
Habit is the second nature
– Habits. Who instills them in us, and how? At first parents, people emotionally crucial for us, then teachers, relatives. We will discuss these habits and the impact they have on gaining excess weight. For example, let’s take the habit of eating up.
– Every dish! ☺
– Clean Plates Society. A woman from the morning group said that parents used to tell her when she was a little girl: “You should see a flower at the bottom of your plate.”
– ☺
– So, the child eats, digging deeper and deeper with his spoon, but there is no flower. The girl continues to work on it.
– A woman told me recently: “I force my grandchildren to eat. They don’t want to eat up, but I force them by any means. For example, by telling them: “You don’t love your Granny!”
– My mother just tied the child, my younger brother, to the chair.
– Really?
– Yes, it’s true. He is a man now, and he eats nothing except sausages, cheese, and candies. I told her: “What have you done to your son?” She replies: “What should I do? He didn’t eat. So, I tied him, opened his mouth, and force-fed him”.
– That’s how it works sometimes! It’s a frustrating story with sad consequences.
Andrey Vasilyevich Trenogov, psychologist, psychiatrist:
I’d like to tell you another story. Once I had at my seminar a client with a weight of two hundred fifty pounds. On the first day, when we talked about reasons for weight gain, he said that he was always overweight as a kid. The man was sure that in his case, this problem was inborn, and he came just to check if it would help him.
Then, during relaxation, he suddenly remembered that at the age of four, he went to the village to his grandparents for the whole summer. And for the entire summer, they told him: “Eat more, and you’ll become a superman” – and stuff like that. He also said that for some reason, he was the only child in the village full of super-caring older adults. They made a schedule establishing where and when he would have lunch. Can you imagine how eager they were to feed the only four-year-old child in the village and how they persuaded him to eat one more spoon for his Mom, Dad, and Granny?
As soon as the man realized that it was just a mindset adopted in childhood, and he didn’t need to continue to follow it, his excess weight began to disappear. As a result, he lost one hundred thirty-two pounds without any effort!
Group session of psychologist
Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:
– Social pressure in terms of nutrition takes place among the grown-ups too. For example, when you come to visit someone but you are not hungry. However, they start to beg and force you to eat by all means, as a rule, by manipulation, making you feel guilty: “Why don’t you eat? Do you mean to offend me? I cooked until midnight yesterday! You do not respect me. What a shame!”
– There is a joke I’d like to tell you. Once a woman with excess weight came to a doctor and told him: “I’m done. I have a big family. I eat up after everyone. Kids do not eat at all. My husband doesn’t eat much. We have a bunch of leftovers every day, and I eat up everything!” The doctor asks her: “You live in the countryside, right? Then you should buy a pig and feed it”. – “What? Do you want me to eat up after the pig too?”
– ☺
– Yes! Well, that’s a different situation. You are not hungry, but your friends or relatives force you to eat: “What does it mean – you are not hungry? How can it be?”
– I bet you did it once or twice, or maybe even many times, Galina?
– Of course, I did. My husband returns home from work and says that he is not hungry. “What? You have to eat at least a little bit”. – “Thanks, I am not hungry.” – “What? Where