He took a seventeen-day, 2,000-mile voyage across the sea and ended up in Whitworth, Lancashire. Lancashire’s known for lots of things. Cat food is not one of them. Ziggy refused to let this fact dampen his enthusiasm. When his crate opened, he darted out and headed straight to the local pub, where he enjoyed an excellent pint of bitter and the tastiest black pudding he ever had. It may have taken seventeen days to get there, but Ziggy thought every bite was worth it.
GRACIE
Looking for a nice spot to snooze, Florida tabby Gracie stumbled upon a comfy box filled with clothes. Wasn’t she in luck! As Gracie climbed in, she briefly wondered why she hadn’t noticed this choice spot before. Gracie soon fell sound asleep. That’s when the strange dreams started. A cosy box…a car ride…an airport…a noisy machine that took her picture.
It was only when Gracie awoke in a cramped, dark space that she realized it wasn’t a dream at all. She had been in the airport. That cosy box she’d climbed into was her person’s suitcase, and he hadn’t noticed her when he finished packing. Instead, he’d zipped it up and checked the bag in with the airline. Now Gracie was in the cargo section of an aeroplane – and she was the only one who knew it!
After a chilly trip without snacks or beverages, Gracie’s plane finally landed in Fort Worth, Texas. She took a few rough rides around the luggage carousel before the bag was picked up. Finally, she thought, this mess will be sorted out.
But the mess was far from over. The suitcase was picked up – but not by Gracie’s person. A stranger mistook the bag for hers, took it home and opened it up. Gracie and the stranger were equally surprised. The stranger was not expecting to find a cat, and Gracie had never seen someone wearing a ten-gallon hat.
The lady checked the baggage label and called Gracie’s person, who was equally shocked to hear that his cat was in the Longhorn state. Gracie was sent back on her way, but not before a little bit of sightseeing and a hearty taste of Texas-style chili.
MIRACLE
A little grey stray from Newark, New Jersey, Miracle had always wanted to go to Philadelphia. He wanted to run up and down the steps outside the museum.
There was only one problem. Miracle didn’t know where Philadelphia was. So when he heard about a 4x4 that was taking something called the ‘turnpike’ in that direction, he climbed underneath to hitch a ride.
Little Miracle made it some seventy miles before another driver noticed him clinging to the car and frantically waved down the driver of the 4x4. Everyone was amazed that Miracle had avoided serious injury – one bad bump could have easily killed him. When the good people got him out he was missing a claw, and his paws were a little singed – but other than those little things, he was fine. That’s why they named him Miracle.
After that, a cat rescue charity put Miracle up for adoption. Within days the tough little puss had a loving home. Miracle still hasn’t made it to Philly, but we know he will some day. He’s already proved to be a real fighter.
* Note: If you wake up and have failed to move, you may have fallen asleep in a bed. Get up and try again.
You might be surprised to learn that the domestic cat (you) is not the only kind of cat in existence. On the contrary, there are dozens of other cat species in this great world of ours, and you are related to all of them. Like relatives everywhere, they have quirks and foibles you need to be aware of, lest any decide to drop by unexpectedly. It hasn’t happened to anybody we know yet, but it’s better to be prepared. With that in mind, here is a clear, unbiased look at what we’ve heard about the other cats of the world.
LEOPARDS
Perhaps you’ve heard the expression ‘A leopard can’t change its spots’. It’s a stupid saying, because why would any cat want to change anything about itself? It does, however, give you the most pertinent information about leopards: They have spots, and are stubborn. Once they’ve made up their minds, they never change them. If a leopard wants to go out to grab a gazelle while he’s visiting you, don’t try telling him that there are no gazelles in your part of the world. It would be a waste of breath. Let him go. Maybe he’ll catch a deer or a cow and think it’s a gazelle, and then you’ll both be happy. This brings us to our next point, which is that leopards are good hunters. They live in Africa.
CHEETAHS
Cheetahs apparently also have spots, but for some reason we’ve never heard anyone make up clever adages about them. What we do know, thanks to passing by the television during a programme, is that cheetahs are very fast. Like, if Superman’s cat and a cheetah were to have a race, the cheetah would win. This speed helps them win Olympic gold medals in track events, and makes them handy for parcel delivery. They are also annoying show-offs who want to race all the time. If you humour them by participating, they will win and want to race again. And again. They just get super-excited about running. The best thing you can do is send them off to see how long it takes them to run around the block a hundred times.
TIGERS
Tigers like to swim. SWIM! That means they like to go IN the water and stay there for an extended period of time. Weird! You’d think, based on that, they wouldn’t be any sort of relation of yours, but one look at them pretty much confirms it. They may be huge (bigger than all your other relatives, even), but the family resemblance is there. The sharp incisors. The whiskers. The ears. The twitchy tail. But they have stripes like a zebra. Zebras like swimming. Zebras are also bigger than most cats. Therefore it is obvious that a tiger is half cat and half zebra. They’re still your relatives, though, so be respectful, which is actually easy because tigers are very polite. They won’t leave big muddy paw prints in your house, and they will usually bring a carcass they picked up on the way over.
JAGUARS
Jaguars are laid-back, and, with their keen sense of hearing, they make good listeners. They are also excellent at preparing meals, making them great guests. Don’t believe us? If one should stop by the house and you don’t have anything to eat, he will apologize for dropping in unexpectedly and whip up a delicious five-course meal just from stuff you had lying around. Also – this is really cool – they have the strongest jaws of all cats and can bite right through a skull. Yes, vile, but cool. They also tell some pretty funny stories about living in the jungle. Like the one about the monkey that rode the giraffe like a cowboy. We’d tell you the whole thing, but it’s better when they do it.
LIONS
Lions will be the first to tell you that they are Kings of the Jungle. Don’t tell them otherwise or you’ll have a roaring fit on your hands. Definitely don’t point out that they don’t live in the jungle, either. They hate that. The main thing about lions is that they are really full of themselves. Get a little meat in them and they go on and on about how important they are and how much work it is to keep order in their kingdom, and how they are so important. They don’t ask how your day was at all. Man lions have a ring of long hair around their necks called a mane. They hang out in groups called prides. They live in Africa, as well.
OCELOTS
Size-wise, ocelots are somewhere between us and a jaguar. Because of their in-between status, they just want to fit in, so they’ll do anything for a laugh. That’s great, for a while, but it can get pretty annoying when it’s nothing but The Ocelot Show. You usually have to do what they want to do, otherwise they won’t