But have you ever asked yourself how we physically and mentally pull off such amazing feats? What is it that makes us capable of walking out on the ledge, walking off said ledge and living to revel in glory?
1 – Fear of Heights? Ha!
No cat afraid of extreme heights is much of a daredevil. Humans have named our ability to stay poised at such elevations ‘High-Rise Syndrome’. We just call it ‘Walking Around’. Thinking we might hurt ourselves, humans try to protect us against our ‘overconfidence’ with respect to lofty perches. It’s always hilarious to be called ‘overconfident’ by a human.
2 – Right Every Time
Why does a cat always land on its feet? One answer is rooted in physics, which requires understanding concepts of rotational motion. It’s much easier just to talk about the Righting Reflex, which is fun to say over and over. The Righting Reflex is what allows us to orient our bodies to keep from tumbling through the air while falling. It is performed by bending at the middle so that the front half of the body rotates on an axis opposite to the rear half. The front legs come around first, then the rear. Everything is as it should be as we streak towards the ground for a perfect landing.
3 – No Collarbone? No Problem
Cats do have clavicles but they are non-functional, a chief reason we’re able to perform the neat trick of squeezing through impossibly tight spaces. It also isn’t a bad thing when you’re landing from a fall. Evel Knievel had two collarbones and broke them both.
4 – Cats Have a Non-Fatal Terminal Velocity
A falling cat cannot exceed 60 mph. This is an important reason we’re able to survive long falls. Small size, light bone structure and a coat of fur all help keep our terminal velocity low. By comparison, a human’s terminal velocity is 130 mph. When it comes to walking away from a multistorey landing, bigger is definitely not better.
5 – Inability to Feel Regret
Regret is not a feeling cats have to deal with, and that little fact frees us to do some frankly crazy things. Without having to regret a decision, we’re always able to go for it!
You’re winding down from a long night of diving across the hall after a coat button. Now the sun is coming up and you could do with a little snack. But that bacon-grease-filled pan you were counting on is gone from the hob. And no matter how hard you look, there aren’t any food nuggets hiding under your dish. Actually, the more you think about it, you aren’t just peckish, you are STARVING! Literally wasting away before no one’s eyes! Where is your person? How can she be contentedly bundled under a pile of blankets, drooling and snoring? Doesn’t she know you could die of hunger any second?
If you could feed yourself, you would, but frankly it is impossible. Your person purchased a tin-opener designed in a discriminatory manner so as not to accommodate paws. Those new-fangled pouches she brought home are like titanium to teeth. And that fridge she hides food in is an impenetrable fortress of delicious leftover chicken fajita and cream cheese.
Of course there’s dry food in the bowl, but you’re keeping that for later.
That leaves only one possible option. To save your very life your person needs to get up immediately and open something! Well, something you’re actually in the mood for, perhaps involving giblets, or a seafood component. Except, you’re not really feeling like white fish this morning, unless perhaps if it is part of a seafood platter. But that’s a bridge you’ll cross when you come to it. Right now, you just need to focus on the problem at hand.
While shrieking up a storm might seem to be the most straightforward attention-getter, you know that usually results in you being tossed out into the hallway with the door slammed in your face. Instead, try some of these more subtle ways to wake her up and get you fed (in escalating order):
Face Touching: Ever so gently – no claws – place a paw on her cheek. Now smoosh, then release. Smoosh, then release. We recommend ten reps of three.
Lick a Plastic Bag: Lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick. Wasn’t that annoying to read? Imagine what it sounds like if you just rolled in a few hours ago from a night out with the girls.
Plastic bags strewn around the bedroom floor aren’t just fun, they can be staunch allies in your quest to get grub. If, on the other hand, your person is careful to hide her purchases and dispose of the bag evidence, a lampshade or dry-cleaning bag are acceptable substitutes.
Whack Something Repeatedly: Using your paw, rapidly whack at something in the room. It’s important that the something you choose to whack, in turn smacks into something else and makes a noise – a really irritating noise that you can commit to maintaining for at least ten minutes. The blinds or a hinged cupboard door are popular options. If nothing in the room happens to fit the bill, scratching the wallpaper works just as well.
Hair Chewing and Licking: Start by nibbling the ends, build up to a gnaw and finish with a series of aggressive tugs. Should your person have short hair unsuitable for chewing, treat her to a full head grooming instead. These techniques are designed to really get her attention, but they may well get you kicked off the bed. If she doesn’t get up and follow, jump back up there and move on to the next, and final, step.
Hand Licking/Biting: Your sandpapery tongue will awaken her briefly, and she’ll probably be touched by your little display of affection. That’s the time to drive home the immediacy of your desperate situation with a startling nip. Be careful not to bite too hard and draw blood. You need that hand operational for food-dispensing duties. If for some reason one bite isn’t enough, be prepared for an encore or two.
At this point she’ll probably realize her alarm is going to go off in thirty minutes anyway, so she might as well just get out of bed and feed you.
But what if she actually does dole out plain old coley? Just walk away and take a nap on that big warm spot on the bed.
Cats are born with wanderlust. We all crave the romance of the highway, spirited sailing adventures and the chance to shed all over the most opulent salons of Paris. Even the mildest among us generally enjoy rubbing on new people, staring at different cultures and refusing to eat local cuisines. But some cats don’t just dream of doing these things – they get out there and do them, by stowing away.
Stowing away is the perfect choice for a cat who’s ready to see the world beyond her person’s home, without the exhausting preparation and expense that normally comes with travelling. It’s easy enough for any cat to do. Just fall asleep in something, wait for it to start moving, and you’re on your way! No reservations or ticket required.*
These are the real-life tales of three brave stowaways, and what happened to them out on the open road.
ZIGGY
Ziggy was a fluffy white cat with two different-coloured eyes, just like his namesake, Ziggy Stardust. But Ziggy wasn’t a rock star from outer space. He was a puss from Haifa, Israel, with a thirst for culinary