Women/human beings should be wise enough to discern what is morally good as God imputed it in us, but we are reprobates. Do not be deceived by sight. The glittering of the fruit deceived Eve, not knowing it was bad. Some of the attachments we use, first consider their origin, the motive, source, and their effect. It may look good and fancy, desirable, but it could be dangerous. Do not say it makes me look good or loved by all, but remember love has many types, natural and artificial love etc. To stay in your clique, you don't need to follow the media closely or join the multitude, because that is where you can best find out what other teenagers do and think. Don’t wear what others wear, because that is how you can best belong, but you have to be yourself because people like you when your altitude is normal.
THE POWERFUL WOMAN
I am a fan of the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene. It is unfortunate that I didn't find this book when I was in college. I think things would have been a lot different for me if I had. Though I don't go by every law stated in the book (because most of them could turn you into a deceptive, slimy type of person), some of them speak directly to women. And if we're going to have a serious talk about women's empowerment, this is a good place to start.
I think young girls, starting at 18, should read more about the laws of power. At the very least, they should understand them, especially those girls who will be entering the real world or the corporate world at some point in the future. If you're not at least aware of the power plays that are going on all around you, you're more likely to fall victim to them.
Not to mention, heterosexual girls 18 and over are in "the snakepit." Many are vulnerable to meeting the wrong men, who only want to use and abuse a naive young girl.
Even women 40 and older can benefit from learning the laws of power. But for now, in this series, I'm just going to point out a few of the laws that I think women of all ages should know. Some of it may seem obvious, but a lot of women don't act like they know!
Greene's 5th law is "So Much Depends on Reputation - Guard it With Your Life."
A Woman's Reputation
Your reputation as a woman precedes you. In some cases, it follows you. If you run in one or more tight social circles, you'll come face to face with this law often.
For example, some guys will only talk to a woman within their social circle because they've heard she's easy. So while that girl is thinking "yay he's so into me", he's really plotting and making a measured bet that he'll get sex soon, based on what he knows of her reputation. So, if you've ever seen a girl with a bad reputation or not particularly appealing, but somehow gets all the attention from guys, don't envy her. Pity her. It's possible she might just be a target. That is an unhappy and powerless situation to be in.
The type of men who will approach you usually depends on your reputation and how you present yourself as a woman. If your reputation is that of a confident, smart, and respectable lady, the Jersey Shore douchey type of guy is probably going to stay far, far away.
And even with strangers or people you've just recently met, you are airing your reputation, whether you intend to or not. For instance, let's talk about sleeping with a man on the first or second date.
Come on, ladies. We have to be realistic here. Men are not usually deep thinkers when it comes to women-they don't feel any special connection with you after just one or two dates. Please stop watching romantic comedies that sell you that bit about "love at first sight." It's bogus.
So, if you sleep with a guy on the first or second date, don't be surprised and hurt when he treats you like a whore or an afterthought. If you drink like a fish when you're out at a bar, don't be surprised when someone you met there treats you accordingly. It doesn't matter how great you look or how good of a woman you think you are. Also, keep in mind that the places you spend most of your time and the company you keep might affect your reputation, positively or negatively.
The Female Reputation
As a female, what are your concerns regarding reputation?
You may have your own opinions, but I will start with three big ones: sexual promiscuity, bad attitude, and lying.
Sex
Sexual promiscuity is a major button-pushing issue. The recent Slutwalk campaign is one example of that. While I am 100% down for women's empowerment, I am aware and realistic about the differences between women and men.
For one, women are the receivers in the sex act. Women are naturally more susceptible to a number of downsides when it comes to overdoing sex, such as pregnancy and health issues. So avoiding promiscuity is not only crucial to your reputation but also to your overall health and well-being.
Why, as a woman, would you want to emulate the behavior of a man? Rise above the nonsense. Elevate yourself. Don't sleep with everyone you meet as a way to prove you're a player or "just like a man."
Attitude
Your attitude as a woman is also a big part of your reputation. In some places, like the office, having a little bit of an attitude might help prevent you from getting treated like a doormat. But when it comes to personal relationships, your attitude should be somewhere in the middle -- not too nice and not too bad.
Although people don't mess with her and she has managed to find a weak-minded man to oppress, it simply can't last. No one can stand a person with a bad, nasty attitude. Eventually, word gets around, and people will start avoiding that woman at all costs. On the other hand, you don't want a reputation as a pushover. You can't be powerful as a woman if you allow people to walk over you and have their way--especially men. In my opinion, the best reputation for a woman (or any person for that matter) is one where people say "that girl is so cool and chill... fun to be around... but hey, don't mess with her."
Lying
I cannot think of anything more damaging to a reputation than someone who lies pathologically. When you lie so much that no one knows if you're telling the truth, it is a major problem. As a powerful woman, others need to know you're a trustworthy and honest; this is important whether you're at the office, in a relationship, or building a female friendship.
Attacks on Your Reputation
As a woman, when you have an enemy, whether it is a competitive woman or a vindictive male, what is the first thing they will try to attack to bring you down? Your reputation.
Your reputation is a source of power. That's why people who don't like you or want to cut you down a few notches will start spreading rumors or gossip. Don't give them fuel for the fire and keep your private business as private as possible. Also, don't become a woman known for attacking the reputation of others--mind your own business.
Building and Maintaining a Positive Reputation
To summarize quickly, what are the most important elements of building a strong, positive reputation?
1 Treating your body as a temple
2 Treating and regarding others with respect
3 Handling tough situations with grace and smarts, rather than being reactionary
4 Being loyal and trustworthy to the people who love you
5 Working