So I invite you in to our numbering of days with Brenda and in doing so pray that you may get a heart of wisdom into how you might number your days with faith, relationships, prayer, and the fun of making precious memories.
Within one day our daughter-in-law Kristin set up a communication and support system using the wonderful tool of Caring Bridge online, helped by her dear friend and Arrow graduate Steph, whom we Pues lovingly refer to as “the other brother,” along with Sharon, Kristin’s mother. It’s an online journal that allowed Brenda to communicate without our having to answer literally thousands of calls or messages.
What follows is that journal, starting on Day 12.
Day
12
to
50
Day 12—This Week
By Kristin Pue—January 12, 2014 1:32 p.m.
This week Mom will be having some further X-rays and an MRI. An amazing community of people surrounds us, and we know how much each of you cares for our family. Mom and Dad do not have the capacity for personal phone calls and emails at this time, and we ask that you use our online Caring Bridge site and the update email address for all contacts. We will do our best to keep you updated as regularly as possible.
My mom, Sharon Paterson, has become the point person for contact during this time. This week we will be setting up the planner for meal preparation and any other ways that you can practically help during this time. For those of you that don’t know, Mom’s driver’s license has been taken away, and so we will most likely need some help with driving—this will also become part of the planner section on this site.
Thank you for coming alongside of us in this journey. We covet your prayers and your support and know that God has surrounded us with all of you for such a time as this.
Day 13—Deeply Moved
By Brenda Pue—January 13, 2014 10:32 p.m.
I started reading posts in the guest book and am overwhelmed by the outpouring of love, concern and prayer. Lots of tears, lots of smiles. Thank you doesn’t seem enough, but I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Please know that even though we are still absorbing the impact of this news—it’s only been two days—God is holding us close, giving us peace and moments of such tenderness and beauty in the midst of seeming chaos.
Three prayer requests:
1. Healing
2. Fast genetic testing, which will allow accurate treatment
3. Intimacy with God to overcome fear
Day 14—My Family
By Brenda Pue—January 15, 2014 12:38 a.m.
I woke up this morning with Psalm 16:6 on my heart: “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance” (NIV).
I first met Carson when we were 18 years old. I was drawn to him by his passion for God, which seemed to match mine. My, we’ve had a good life together…which does not equal easy…but oh so fulfilling. He has made me feel so special, so accepted, and so loved. He’s challenged me when that was needed and helped me to be the person I am today. There is so much I love about him. Watching him navigate my cancer diagnosis, arguably the greatest challenge we have yet faced together, has been nothing short of inspiring. True to form, he has been wise, real, and faith-filled. How blessed I am to be married to him.
My three grown sons, Jason, Jeremy, and Jonathan, have blessed me beyond measure. I love who they’ve become by God’s grace—men of faith, integrity and humility who bring large doses of love, laughter, and grace wherever they go. And my three daughters, Kristin, Shari, and Kirstie—wow! They are so lovely, beyond what I asked God for and beyond what I could even imagine. And my grandchildren…I can’t quite find the words. Watching them all process the news of my cancer has been the greatest pain I have ever known. We are deeply committed to journeying this road together and figuring out how to do it well with God’s help.
Three prayers on my heart today:
1. For my husband—more courage, faith, and wisdom as he leads me, our family, and others.
2. For my children—that God would draw them close, give them courage, and to find the wonders God has for us.
3. The kids gave us a family photo shoot for Christmas, and we’ve decided to do it sooner rather than later—pray that it will be a great day for us all, including the weather.
Day 15—Medical Tests and Blessings
By Brenda Pue—January 15, 2014 11:43 p.m.
Today I visited the third different hospital in 10 days, this time for an MRI of a lesion spotted at the base of my brain. My doctors are 99 percent certain that the lesion has spread from the tumour that is in my lung. The lung cancer was confirmed just four days ago, and we learned about this brain lesion at the same time. As well there was a “spot” in one of the bones in my back.
I lost my driver’s license that same night due to the risk of seizures and balance problems. It took me a few moments to process that loss, and then I quickly realized the blessing in it. People I love would be driving me to and from appointments, and we would be given the gift of time with each other. Right now, time feels so very precious to me. I have loved the quality time I am already getting, initially with Carson and my kids, but that circle will now widen as we get more clarity on the treatment phase.
We have another appointment with my specialist this Sunday afternoon to get the results from this week’s X-rays and the MRI. As well my doctor will show us images of the brain and chest CT scans, X-rays, and bone scan. All of our boys are coming to that appointment, partly to get an understanding of what is going on and to ask questions. But Jason, our oldest son, said that the reason why he wants to see the images is so that he will know beyond any shadow of a doubt when a miracle happens.
Another thing that has deeply touched me was this: Our youngest kids, Jonathan and Kirstie, had been making tentative plans to move to another city in the spring, and they made the decision to stay here a few days ago. I cried big, fat tears of joy over that! I am so deeply blessed by all the prayers of friends around the globe. Today I beseeched the Lord to hear the prayers of his beloved everywhere…
Three specific prayer requests from today:
1. That God would shrivel the lesion in my brain, along with the mass in my lung and the spot in my bone.
2. To not be overtaken by dread and fear, but rather to focus on life and blessing.
3. For genetic coding (via biopsy) of lung mass to be scheduled quickly.
Day 16—A Normal Kind of Day
By Brenda Pue—January 17, 2014 12:01 a.m.
No tests today! In fact, I went for a hair appointment. How normal is that? This is in preparation for our family photo shoot tomorrow. Our family is busy getting haircuts and flu shots (I know, not your average preparation for a photo shoot), and we are all pretty excited about it. Our family group chat has been hilarious, deciding what to wear (if you know our three sons, you will have no trouble imagining this at all). I also enjoyed time today with various friends.
There are so many things that are life-giving to me right now. One is this Caring Bridge website filled with encouraging messages, amazing prayers, and bits of comic relief too. Another thing is a practice that Carson and I have every morning, reading from the Psalms, then praying through our day and praying for people. We also share communion each morning, and that has been a rich way to start each day. As well, I have completely filled our large bathroom mirror with various Scripture verses, which bless us all day long. God is giving us peace and courage.
We have sad moments, but they pale in comparison to the feeling of being held tightly by our God. We feel so incredibly loved.
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