I didn’t point out that it was summer. ‘If you’re taken sick at school then the school will telephone me,’ I said. ‘I will come and collect you. No school would ever send a sick child home on the bus. It would be irresponsible of them.’ I’d had a lot of experience of looking after children, and if Joss thought she had an answer for everything, then so too did I. Amelia, on the other hand – in her twenties and, I guessed, newly qualified – didn’t have the same experience.
‘Is that all right, then?’ she asked Joss.
Joss shrugged.
‘I’m sure Joss will earn the right to a front-door key soon,’ Jill said positively, then moving the meeting on she added: ‘What’s next on the agenda? Counselling?’
‘Yes,’ Amelia said, glancing at her notepad. ‘Joss, you remember when you first came into care I explained about CAMHS and asked if you wanted to talk to someone? I was wondering if –’
‘I’m not going,’ Joss said adamantly before Amelia could get any further.
‘Why not?’ Amelia asked.
‘I don’t want to.’
‘Anything you discuss with the counsellor would be confidential,’ Jill said. ‘It can help to talk to a professional.’
Joss hesitated briefly, but then said, ‘No. I don’t want to.’
‘OK. Tell me if you change your mind,’ Amelia said, and made another note on her pad. ‘What’s next?’
‘I want to go out more,’ Joss said. ‘I want that discussed.’
‘Good,’ Amelia said, pleased Joss was engaging with the meeting. ‘Tell us what you would like.’
I sighed inwardly and thought I heard Jill sigh too. Amelia was pleasant enough but so naïve.
‘I want to go out with my mates every night,’ Joss said.
Amelia nodded thoughtfully.
‘What about your homework?’ Jill asked.
‘I’ll do it before I go out,’ Joss replied.
‘I think you should stay in one evening,’ Amelia said.
‘All right. I’ll stay in one,’ Joss said. ‘Monday. There’s not much going on at the mall on Mondays.’ Joss regularly congregated with her friends at the shopping centre in town, often after the shops had closed. It was one of the places where Joss had come to the attention of the police, and on at least one occasion they had tipped away the alcohol she and her friends were too young to have and sent them on their way.
‘I think Joss should be at home with us more than just one night a week,’ I said. ‘She’s only thirteen and she’s behind with her school work. Also, we’d like to see more of her.’ That being at home would also reduce the number of opportunities for Joss to get into trouble I left unsaid, as Amelia, Linda and Jill would be aware of this, and I wanted to stay as positive as possible.
‘I’ll make sure I’m back on time,’ Joss said.
Amelia didn’t respond.
‘Most teenagers I know just go out at the weekend,’ Jill said.
‘Not the ones I know,’ Joss said. ‘My friend Chloe can see her mates whenever she likes. I go to her place sometimes, so I’m not always on the streets. I can sleep at Chloe’s if I like.’
‘Joss is welcome to bring her friends home,’ I said. ‘I always encourage the children I foster to invite their friends back.’
‘I’d rather go to her place,’ Joss said.
‘How would you feel about staying in two nights a week?’ Amelia now asked her. ‘Would that be all right?’
‘I guess,’ Joss said.
‘I don’t think that’s enough,’ I said. ‘I would suggest she goes out on Friday and Saturday only during term time, unless there is a special occasion.’
‘No,’ Joss said forcefully, jutting out her chin. ‘That’s not enough. I’m not a kid. And I want to stay out later than nine. That’s ridiculous.’
The discussion about how often Joss could go out and when she had to come home continued for another ten minutes, until Joss and Amelia decided between them that Joss would stay in two nights, Sunday and Wednesday, but could go out the other nights as long as she did her homework first. It was agreed, though not by Joss, that she had to be back by 9.30 p.m. on a weekday and 10.30 p.m. on Friday and Saturday, unless there was something special on, when she would negotiate a later time with me. Even so, I felt this was too much for a girl of thirteen with a history of getting into trouble. While Joss was out of the house it was impossible for me to protect her, but I could see that Amelia hadn’t wanted to sour her relationship with Joss by going against her. As a foster carer you have to do what the social services decide, unlike in parenting when you can make whatever decisions you deem appropriate for the good of your own child.
‘We’ll include all of this in the contract of behaviour,’ Amelia said as she wrote. ‘And that you will stop smoking and drinking alcohol.’
‘I can’t,’ Joss said.
‘You can try,’ Jill said.
‘Can we include that Joss needs to improve her behaviour and grades at school?’ Linda asked.
‘Yes, of course,’ Amelia said, and Joss sighed.
Smoking dope wasn’t included in the contract of behaviour, as there was no conclusive evidence that Joss had been smoking illegal substances, although her mother, aunt, previous carers and I had all smelt it on her. The sanctions for not complying with the rules of the contract were loss of privileges: not being allowed out and loss of television time. Jill also said that it should be included that if Joss arrived home more than an hour late then, following current fostering practice, I should report her missing to the police.
‘Do you understand that?’ Amelia asked Joss.
‘Fine with me, but I don’t want my pocket money stopped. It’s not fair. It’s my money and I need it.’
‘I understand,’ Amelia said.
‘It’s withheld, not stopped,’ Jill said. ‘Foster carers are very limited in the sanctions they can use, and withholding pocket money for negative behaviour is something our agency approves of, especially for teenagers. They can and usually do earn it back through good behaviour, and if they don’t then it goes into a savings account for them. They don’t lose it.’
‘We tried stopping her pocket money,’ Linda said, ‘but Joss said she’d steal what she needed.’
Joss glared at her mother.
‘I’m sure you wouldn’t be that silly,’ Jill said to Joss. Although we all knew that Joss had been caught twice stealing alcohol from small corner shops.
‘So shall I include stopping your pocket money in the contract?’ Amelia asked Joss ineffectually. ‘Is that all right?’
‘No. But you’ll do it anyway,’ Joss moaned.
I saw Amelia hesitate. ‘How would you feel if I put that only half of your pocket money could be withheld? Then you’d always have some.’
‘Whatever,’ Joss said.
‘Don’t be rude, love,’ Linda said gently.
‘Why not?’ Joss snapped. ‘You can’t tell me what to do. You lost that right when you married him.’
Joss’s anger was vehement and I felt for Linda, just as I’m sure Jill did. Without counselling I couldn’t see how Joss was ever going to move on with her life or accept that her mother had a right to another