A few weeks later, out of the blue, I guess, I didn’t remember a fight with my parents or anything. But I packed a bag and showed up at my boyfriend’s trailer and told him my mom and dad kicked me out and if I could stay with him. He didn’t even seem to think about it, I think he was happy, and he let me in, no questions asked. I did feel bad. I knew I was going to worry them again. I called them the next day and told them I moved in with a girl friend of mine.
I knew they weren’t stupid but didn’t say anything. It didn’t take long for them to figure out it was him. I gave them his number, but I didn’t want them to know we were sleeping together. My mom would sometimes call in the morning while we were still in bed. I told him to tell them when they called to hold on a sec as if he had to get up and come get me from another room. So I’d hold the phone for a minute with my hand over the mouthpiece before I said hello.
She started bringing me groceries and teaching me some recipes so I could cook for him. Man, my parents were cool. Sorry, it just brings me back to things I’ve forgotten, I don’t know if anyone else’s parents would do all they did and put up with.
I was a little scared, though, because he worked from 9:00 p.m. till 4:00 a.m. and I had never been on my own before and was afraid at night. I would spend my nights cleaning the house. I really wanted to impress him and didn’t like to clean when anyone was around. Besides, I wanted to spend every second with him when he was home. I cooked for him every night before work too. He was happy.
I did start calling him at work a lot, though, every time I got scared. He never got mad at me, but I’m sure he got slack from the guys in the pressroom when I called.
One night, I started hearing noises and got scared and called the police thinking someone was breaking in. We had a couple cats then, and after the cops came and searched our tiny trailer and outside, I heard them call dispatch and say, “There’s nothing here but a bunch of cats.” I was really embarrassed. I guess I embarrassed myself a lot; well, I still do.
I was still taking my GED classes and started taking the exams. I didn’t have to take them all at once which was a relief. But there were five, and I passed. It was my biggest accomplishment so far.
Eventually, though, the Hyde side would come out, I don’t remember how long until it happened, probably once I got comfortable. And for no reason, I would get upset over something stupid and freak out on him, throw things and threaten to leave. It wasn’t every day, but it was frequent.
At one point, I did pack my bags to leave then started crying. He came and held me and asked me to stay. To this day, I have no idea what he saw in me. I guess I was more fun than not.
He never left me behind or gave me a reason to be jealous. But I always was very insecure.
He asked me to join the bowling league with him and the guys at work; no other wives were invited, and I’m sure he got teased but never told me. They all seemed to like me.
We went to the bars a lot together. He knew everyone there. It was where all the pressmen went and I never got carded.
When he’d get home from work some mornings, he’d bring some of his friends over. I never let him see me without makeup and would always get up before he came home and shower and do my hair and makeup.
When they would come over after work, I’d join them in the living room and drank beer with them at 6:00 a.m. It wasn’t weird for them; like getting off work at any job no matter what time, most people liked to enjoy a couple beers. So I never complained and enjoyed hanging out with them even though it was early for me to be drinking. I didn’t care. I loved the attention. He had a good friend who lived in the mountains we would hang out with a lot. We would go to Red Rocks Amphitheatre on off-concert season and sit on the stage drinking beer while he played for me. One night, though, he informed me his friend was coming to the house. I wasn’t in a great mood, and his friend was a mooch. I liked him, but that night, I told my boyfriend that I was not going to feed his friend.
After a half hour of him being there, my boyfriend said, “Get to the stove, woman, and cook us some chow.” He had never talked to me like that and knew it was innocent kidding, but I was still not happy. His friends had never ever seen the Hyde side of me. And that night, he didn’t either, not vocally. I just said, “Fine, you want some chow.” So I pulled out some chow mein, and as I was cooking it, I fed the cats at the same time while adding in some cat food to the chow mein.
I served it with a smile and stood there watching them eat it. They asked me why I wasn’t eating. I just said I wasn’t hungry, but after only two or three bites at most, they figured why, and both threw their bowls down. “Ooh, she fed us cat food,” his friend said as he spit. I just started laughing and left the room. He must have realized he deserved it because he never said anything after that. He didn’t yell at me or anything. But he never did yell at me. He was such a quiet man, very sweet and gentle. I really didn’t deserve him.
It was one night when I was mad because he wasn’t in the mood for sex. Of course, I took it personal and freaked out and threw a hot pizza on his face and took off. I went across to the gas station I was working at and asked some guy that was pumping gas where he was going. I told him I needed a ride to Arizona. I don’t know why I picked Arizona, I had never been there before. I knew his sister lived there but had never met her, but this is part of my bipolar, just doing crazy irrational things on a whim. I didn’t even have money on me. But he said he could take me as far as Albuquerque, New Mexico. And I’d have to get a ride from there. He was very nice. He only said one thing on the way there: “Have you ever heard of gas, grass, or ass. No one rides for free?” I laughed at him and said I had none of the above. I think I embarrassed him because it didn’t scare me and he didn’t expect me to laugh, so he said he was kidding, and we kept going.
When we got close to his destination, he had a CB in his car and called ahead to see if any truckers were heading to Phoenix and could give a lady a ride. He got a response right away, and as soon as we got to the truck stop, I thanked him and parted ways. The truck driver was really cool and didn’t expect anything. I really didn’t know where I was going, so when we got to Phoenix, I just thanked him and left the truck stop walking. I ended up at an apartment complex and just went in to hang out at the pool. There were some kids there drinking beer and listening to music and invited me over. I told them my story. They, of course, thought I was crazy but also interesting. They asked me what I was going to do, and I said hitchhike back to Colorado the next day. They let me stay the night, along with a stray cat I found roaming around the complex. They had no idea who she belonged to, and I wanted to take her home. So the next morning, they made me a sign that said Denver on a piece of cardboard and dropped me off at the entrance of the interstate. Cat in hand, I stood with my sign, and it didn’t take long to get a ride even with a cat.
The guy that picked me up happened to be going straight to Denver. We did stop at a hotel halfway, but he got a room with two beds and didn’t once try to make a move on me. I wonder now as I’m writing pretty much my life story if all these people who picked me up hitchhiking, and it’s been a lot and a lot more as you read on. I wonder if all these people were angels God sent to protect me. I mean, what are the odds with all the risks I’ve taken and trusting everyone that no harm ever came to me when so many young girls who ran away or hitchhiked were found murdered all the time. It breaks my heart that these girls were probably all really good girls too, just at the wrong place at the wrong time.
So we took off the next morning, and he drove me straight to the entrance of my trailer park. He was home as I walked in the door. And I just said hi as if nothing happened. He looked worried but very happy to see me. The first thing he asked, though, was where did I get the cat. I told him Arizona as if it was just the next block over. His mouth fell open, he thought I was kidding. So I told him how I hitchhiked to Arizona and back the next day. He was shocked; he already knew I was crazy, I don’t know what he was thinking, but he was happy to have me home safe.
Another night he went to work, we had this little car, I must have been fighting with him and threatening to leave again because when he left, I tried to start the car, and it wouldn’t start. I don’t