‘Surely he knows his father needs him?’
‘Adam and I told him we would do what we could. Paul needs time away. I imagine he will return soon.’
‘Yes, of course,’ Madeline said. ‘Oh, there are some black swans! I think them so majestic. A pity we have nothing to feed them with.’
‘I think the keepers feed them with special food. The earl does not encourage giving them bread.’
‘Ah, I see.’ Maddie moved away, but Hal took her shoulder and turned her back to face him. She gazed up at him, a question in her eyes. ‘Yes, Hal—did you wish to say something to me?’
‘You must know I care for you, Maddie.’
‘You have been everything that is kind and good to me... Yes, I do believe that you have affection for me.’
‘My feelings are stronger than mere affection,’ he said, his voice throaty with passion. ‘I want you to be my wife as soon as it is possible, Maddie—but you must believe that I understand how you feel. I know you have suffered and I shall never—’
She put her gloved fingers to his lips. ‘I want to be your wife, Hal,’ she said, her voice little more than a whisper, ‘but...I fear I am not worthy of you. Lethbridge despoiled me...I feel unclean...’
A tear slid from the corner of her eye. Hal reached out and wiped it gently away with his bare hand. He stroked her cheek softly. Madeline felt a tingling sensation inside and for a moment her heart raced. Would he kiss her? She longed for it and yet feared it, for if she froze in his arms he might come to despise her and that she could not bear.
‘You must never think such a thing,’ he said and his eyes darkened with anger. ‘I cannot know the extent of your suffering at that monster’s hand, Maddie, but I swear you will never suffer at mine. I shall never ask more than you can give. And you are not unworthy no matter what that devil did to you.’
‘Hal...I do not deserve such love.’
‘You deserve much more,’ he vowed and took her hands, kissing them tenderly and then letting her go. ‘Remember that I would give my life for you—and I would rather die than hurt you. We should return to the house before they send out a search party.’
His jest brought a tearful smile, but she lifted her head proudly and gave him her hand, letting him assist her into the saddle. Hal understood and he was telling her that he would wed her even if she could never be a proper wife to him—but would she be fair to him if she accepted?
* * *
The afternoon was spent pleasantly in conversation. Madeline played the pianoforte for the entertainment of the others and Jenny sang a sweet love song, her eyes seeking Adam’s across the room. Lord Ravenscar’s old-fashioned courtesy charmed Madeline and insensibly she began to feel at home. It was a comfortable, happy atmosphere and Madeline knew that she was beginning to relax her guard here with these kind people. She laughed several times as Adam teased Jenny and the two ladies linked arms, chatting amiably as they went upstairs to change after tea.
It was beginning to seem that the nightmare of her former life was fading from her memory, though now and then something would be said that reminded her sharply. She gave no thought at all to the attack on her as she walked back to the farm and was inclined to dismiss it as perhaps the work of rogues. Here at this lovely estate she must be perfectly safe, for even if the marquis—if it were he who had sent those rogues to abduct her—discovered where she was, he would not dare to attempt anything while she was surrounded by friends.
Another pleasant evening spent with Hal’s family and their guests, invited for dinner and cards, brought laughter to her lips and a sense of peace to her heart. Madeline had forgotten that life could be so sweet. Accustomed to a round of social events that she attended because it suited her husband, the simple pleasures she discovered in this house were a revelation and a joy to her.
* * *
Every morning she rose early to ride with Hal. On their return she changed into a morning gown and then drank tea in the parlour or walked in the gardens with Jenny. In the afternoons they took it in turns to entertain one another. Hal had a good, strong, reading voice and the knack of making the characters come to life when he read from a novel. Adam had a pleasant tenor voice and could occasionally be persuaded to sing for them, but often they played cards or a silly childish game like jackstraws. Lord Ravenscar enjoyed a game of chess and one of them indulged him, taking it in turns to pit their skill against his, but it was not often that any of them could worst him.
* * *
A week passed so swiftly that the day of Jenny’s dance was upon them before they knew it. That morning the house was a hive of activity; the servants had been dusting and polishing for days, removing furniture from the long gallery so that it would be clear for dancing. Flowers from the hothouses had been brought in and arranged in beautiful vases and their scent pervaded the house.
Madeline asked if she could help and was given the task of checking the rooms that would be used for entertaining the guests to see if anything had been left undone. Of course nothing had, for Lord Ravenscar’s servants had been with him for years and were accustomed to making ready for any occasion. However, by giving Madeline a task Jenny had made her feel she was useful and that was a kindness, for to be always a guest was not what she had been used to.
On the evening of the dance, Madeline dressed in a gown of pale-lilac crape with an overskirt of silver tissue. The neckline was modest and the sleeves short and puffed, as was the prevailing fashion, the high waist emphasised with a sash of silver embroidered with glass beads.
She decided against wearing any of the more expensive jewels from her husband’s box, preferring the delicate diamond pendant that had been a present from her father and a pair of long delicate earrings with diamond drops.
Satisfied that her appearance was modest and subdued enough for a lady recently widowed, she went downstairs to discover that the family was just gathering in the large drawing room. Jenny was looking a picture in a gown of green silk that could only have been fashioned in Paris. When Madeline complimented her, she confessed that it had been bought on her honeymoon and blushed prettily.
‘You are very content in your marriage, are you not?’ Madeline asked for she could not fail to see the shining happiness in Jenny’s eyes.
‘So happy I cannot tell you,’ Jenny agreed. ‘I knew I was in love long before Adam asked me to marry him and I knew he was the man I wished to marry—but I had no idea how wonderful it would be.’
Madeline would have liked to question her further on the intimate side of her marriage, but the guests had started to arrive. It was a delicate subject and one she was shy to raise, but seeing how happy Jenny was had made her wonder. Having experienced only her husband’s brutality in the bedchamber, she had come to believe that all men must be the same. Yet Hal was so gentle and kind to her—and she’d seen the way Jenny looked at Adam, such trust and love in her eyes that she could not believe her friend had ever been subjected to anything remotely unpleasant.
Was it possible that she too could find, if not pleasure, at least acceptance of a man’s touch?
Madeline would not have thought it possible a few days previously, but a subtle change had been happening of late. Hal had never once tried to take her in his arms or kiss her, but the touch of his hand as he helped her to mount, a light finger on her cheek and a gentle kiss on her hand aroused only feelings of comfort and even pleasure.
Her thoughts were suspended as the guests began to move into the series of rooms, which had been opened up to make one long, flowing chamber. The footmen were circulating with trays of crystal glasses filled with the finest champagne. Madeline looked round at all the excited faces and smiled. Many of the guests were young ladies, perhaps attending their first ball, and their eager looks reminded her of herself as a young girl. She must have looked just so when