‘I shall look after everything—if you give me your permission?’
‘I wish you would do so,’ Madeline said fervently. ‘I want only my clothes, my personal possessions and the settlement that was mine on marriage, but withheld.’
‘You may be entitled to more,’ Hal said. ‘If you refuse it, Lethbridge’s fortune might revert to the Crown with his title.’
‘Please do what you think right,’ Madeline said, looking at him with such appeal that it took all his strength of will not to gather her into his arms and tell her of his love. ‘I know only that I want to forget that I was ever married to that man.’
‘You shall forget it,’ Hal promised. He leaned towards her, brushing his lips lightly over hers, keeping his hands away from her so that she should not fear what he might do next. ‘I want you to be happy, Maddie. You have told me how he hurt you. Please believe that I would never hurt you in such a way. I care for and respect you too much—and it is my hope that we may marry one day.’
‘Oh, Hal,’ she said, her voice catching. ‘I think I should like that so much, but...’
‘You know it cannot be yet,’ he said and ran a gentle finger down her cheek. ‘We need time to get to know one another again. You were badly hurt...’
‘Yes.’ She did not deny it, her voice faltering as she added, ‘I would wish to be the wife you want, Hal, but...I do need time to know you, time to forget what happened.’
‘Of course,’ he said. ‘We are fortunate to have such good friends. Here we shall have all the privacy we wish for and the time to become accustomed to one another.’
Hal stood back, controlling his raging emotions. Once he would have swept her into his arms and kissed her passionately, but he was afraid of frightening her, of giving her a disgust of him. He’d seen her reaction to the marquis’s lovemaking and would not have her recoil from him in that way.
Hal must show her that there was another side to loving, a sweetness and satisfaction that came from tenderness and concern one for the other. He knew that if he could ease away the painful memories she would respond with all the sweetness and trust that she’d once had towards him. He would need to be patient, but she was worth waiting for...if only that devil Lethbridge had not made it impossible for her to love and trust again.
* * *
Afterwards, when she went up to her bedchamber, accompanied by her smiling hostess, Madeline thought it one of the most pleasant evenings she’d ever spent. For the first time in years she could retire to a comfortable room and bed without the fear that her husband would arrive to pinch and taunt her. Even at the farm she had not been able to sleep because she feared her husband would discover her.
Lethbridge was dead. She was no longer bound to him by her father’s debt and could follow her own inclinations. The feeling of freedom was wonderful and she was smiling as she sat down and allowed Sally to brush her long hair free of its pins and curls.
‘Are you feeling happier now, my lady?’ Sally asked as she smoothed the brush over her thick hair.
‘Yes, and more relaxed.’ She looked at Sally’s reflection in the mirror and noticed that she was tight with anxiety. ‘You must not worry too much. Thomas was delayed for some reason and when he gets to the farm he will have yet another journey here.’
‘Yes, I know, but I cannot help thinking if someone took him prisoner to make him tell where you had gone...’
‘Oh, but you must not fear him dead. Thomas is too clever to be taken in by their threats. I am sure he will come to us soon, Sally—and if he does not, I will ask Major Ravenscar to make enquiries.’
‘I pray you are right, my lady,’ Sally said. ‘Thomas spoke of buying a small inn for us. You would not wish to live with us now, but if I knew you were safe here I might agree to wed him.’
‘I know you love him,’ Madeline said and smiled at her. ‘I may have some money of my own soon, Sally. I could then pay your wages and employ Thomas as my secretary for he is too clever to be a footman all his life—but if you prefer, I will give you something and you may marry him with my good wishes.’
‘I should like to remain with you, at least until I had a child,’ Sally told her, ‘but I must ask Thomas what he wishes to do for I love him. I would not like it if he took another girl in my place.’
‘I am sure he would not. He adores you,’ Madeline said. ‘You are fortunate to have such devotion, but I know you love him in return.’
‘Yes, I do,’ Sally agreed and smiled.
* * *
The following morning Jenny took Madeline visiting with her in the carriage. They were accompanied by two grooms and driven by Lord Ravenscar’s own coachman, ensuring their safety.
‘Adam insisted we use the carriage. I should have driven us in my phaeton, for he has been teaching me to drive a pair and I enjoy driving a team about the estate, but he thought it best we take the carriage and grooms to accompany us in the circumstances.’
‘How you must curse me,’ Madeline said. ‘To have your freedom curtailed because of me must irk you, Jenny.’
‘No, of course not, think nothing if it.’ Jenny smiled and shook her head. ‘Adam fusses over me too much—but he loves me and I do not wish him to be anxious.’
‘Certainly not,’ Madeline agreed. She said no more about it, but Jenny’s careless remark had made her realise that her presence at the house might place Hal’s friends in some danger and was certainly inconvenient.
She enjoyed the morning spent visiting Jenny’s friends and envied her, her uncomplicated life and the happiness her marriage had brought her. How wonderful to be that confident, to love and know you are loved—to have no fear of love. Having seen the way Jenny went to her husband’s arms so willingly, lifting her face for his kiss with such a look of joy, made Madeline realise that there must be pleasure to be found in marriage—if only she could forget the hurt inflicted on her.
Madeline would wish to live quietly in the country with the man she loved, but for the moment she was obliged to live beneath the shadow of fear—fear of another attempt to abduct her. And even if that fear were somehow removed, could she be sure that she was worthy of Hal’s love?
Madeline was able to accept the shadow that hung over her for herself, but she had not realised until Jenny mentioned it that she was bringing a deal of trouble to the kind people that had taken her in. Hal had spoken lightly of the arrangements Adam would make, but Madeline must be aware that she had disrupted their lives.
She comforted herself that it would not be for ever, but she felt under an obligation and that made her uncomfortable. For the moment there was little else she could do, but once her affairs were settled, she would find somewhere else to live.
* * *
On their return to the house, she went upstairs to her room to discover Sally unpacking several trunks. An array of elegant silk gowns were spread over the bed, gowns she recognised as being her own. Spinning round, she saw the silver brushes, perfume bottles and other glass trinkets on the dressing table and gave a cry of pleasure for she’d been forced to leave many trinkets behind, things that had been given her by her mother and grandmother when she was a girl.
‘These are mine,’ she said, turning to look at Sally with a surge of delight. ‘Where did they come from?’
‘Thomas brought your things, my lady,’ Sally said and her eyes were bright with excitement. ‘He discovered in London that the count was dead and went to the house. He told them that you were staying with friends until your husband’s affairs were settled and said you’d ordered him to fetch your clothes.’
‘And they packed them—just like that?’
‘Thomas