Nasty people. Shelley A Dewar

don’t ever push him, otherwise he would have become even more violent and I reckon he would have killed me that night if Sean wasn’t there.

      Now that I was free of him I then walked over to stand near Sean and Thought, “This is my chance!” I got a bit of what they call Dutch courage and I couldn’t help myself. I yelled at Brian telling him exactly what I thought of him and it got to the stage where we were both screaming and yelling at one another and the words were not exactly nice, especially from his mouth! He told me I was nothing but a sick dyke and that I needed therapy. What the fuck! Why? It then occurred to me why he could be angry with me. Was it because I was open and honest about my sexuality and I didn’t care what others thought? Some live in the closet and some don’t! I did however find out later one of the reasons. (There are two but one will do) One being, in his mind, he thought I was having an affair with his wife. Are you serious?

      I found these thoughts to be an absolutely disgusting and sickening not to mention disturbing. Not that I didn’t find his wife attractive, she was, but I just couldn’t look at her in that way because she was family and I have morals. There are a lot of women in the world who find other women attractive but not always in a sexual way. Personally, I have found many women attractive but there are limitations and boundaries, end of story. After that night I had no choice and knowing he would never change, I decided to cut all ties with Brian. As far as I was concerned, his life would always keep consisting of ignorance and arrogance toward others and I chose not be a part of that. Even though he doesn’t know this, his behaviour destroyed a lot of my faith in men as human beings. I know now, there are still a few good ones out there and that not all men are tarred with the same brush as him.

      I have many male friends who are not violent and are happy people within themselves and a joy to be with.

      To those who have hurt you in the past and made you bitter; I hope you learn the art of forgiveness and find peace one day Brian, like I have.

      My Brother

      My brother and I were always fairly close but not now. For years now I have felt he hates me and I’m not really sure why but I do have some thoughts that run deep in my mind however; I keep my opinions to myself. Even though I feel this hatred from him, ironically he was one of the people who literally saved my life. If it wasn’t for my ex-girlfriend Lisa who raised the alarm bells and called him and my older sister, I would have died, literally! So much for a loving and caring girlfriend and her two mongrel fucking kids at the time who were watching me die right in front of their eyes!

      When my brother and sister arrived, my brother’s words were, “You either come to the hospital now or we carry you out in a box in a week. I am not leaving without you anyway sweetheart, so get ready, we are going to the hospital now.” I knew I had no choice and agreed to go but I had to make one thing clear first. I begged them not to tell Mum I was ill. I didn’t want her to see I was dying and I couldn’t bear to see her cry.

      Getting back to my brother, even though he and I hadn’t been on good terms, I felt this brought us a bit closer but that was short lived. It was a few months later when I was still recovering at home, my brother and I had an argument about something stupid and he just had to bring my personal life into it. He of all people had now overstepped the mark as well but for the last time. I was getting sick and tired of others, especially him and their opinions. How dare these people be mean to me and to tell me how to live my life and who I should and shouldn’t be with! Go fuck yourselves! I knew it was time to completely cut myself off once and for all, not only from him but also to those who insult my lifestyle. Good riddance!