I then said to my Mum, “So in the meantime you have to wait around like a puppet to see what he wants.”
She said, “No, he doesn’t want me to wait.”
I was in disbelief and could feel myself getting angrier than before, but then Mum walked up to the kitchen sink and started crying again. I knew then that I had to calm down once and for all because it was upsetting her even more with me going on about it.
I walked up to her and put my arms around her and told her I was sorry. I then held my head up and said with confidence, “He’ll be back, give it time.” She said, “I don’t think so.” I told her he will realise how much he misses you and how much fun you have together. She said, “You reckon?”
I said, “Yep, I’ll bet you my last dollar on it!” Gees, I’m good!
As the days went by, my Mum was still upset because it was hard accepting the fact that John wasn’t coming back. But then:
Three weeks after he left, he telephoned Mum and told her he missed her and that he had made a huge mistake.
He then asked her if she would be willing to start where they left off. What a bloody cheek!
Mum was angry at first but realized this man did have some integrity by trying to do the right thing by his partner of many years so this was telling her something about this man at least and because she missed him big time, it helped to forgive him.
After they had been together for a while, John moved in with Mum but then they decided to rent Mum’s house out and get a unit. The reason being is because John didn’t want to feel like he was living or sponging off Mum. He wanted to be where he felt a balance in a home they could call theirs. Sounds familiar?
After about two years of living there, Mum got homesick for her house so they decided to move back.
Another five years went by and the love and respect they had for each other was amazing! You could tell they loved each more and more every time you saw them.
I had never known my Mum to be so content and happy with any man but John. He was a beautiful person and we all adored him and he was now part of our family.
I had just turned thirty six and the big question was popped! “Will you marry me?”“Of course I will John!” I say, “What took you so long, you big hunk of spunk?”
The entire family was so excited for them and we couldn’t wait! I was to be Matron of honour and my brother was to give her away.
They were married in my back garden which had a free standing pergola away from the house and even though the weather was pretty shitty, it was sheltered.
I also had a fairly long footpath from the house to the pergola which was ideal for my brother to walk my Mum down. Not just my brother and I were proud because we were part of the ceremony, all us kids were. Brings tears to my eyes thinking about it.
The reception was at a bowling club which meant informal but comfortable surroundings.
The most beautiful part of the night was when my Mum and John danced the bridal waltz. As always, they swept the floor together with such elegance and grace. What a fun day and night!
After their wedding, nothing changed except the love between them grew even stronger than before. They adored each other!
It was about two years later when Mum decided she needed a change in scenery and wanted to move to the country or some sort of remote area. It was something she had always wanted and dreamed but John wasn’t so keen. He was happy living in suburbia area but because he loved my Mum so much and wanted her to be happy, he agreed. Before they moved, Mum sold our family home thinking she would never move back and the country life would be her destiny. Not! The house they moved into was fairly large and virtually in the middle of nowhere and Mum at first loved it and John was slowly becoming accustomed to this new country life only because he really didn’t have a choice now and had to make the most of it. He got himself some homing pigeons, chooks and ducks which he loved to look after and he was quite happy but Mum ironically started to feel isolated because she was so far away from everything and everyone and regretted selling her house. But what was she going to do? She decided she also had to accept where she was and that our family home was no longer hers and that she too had to make the most of where she was.
After thirteen years of living there, John became sick. He had been diagnosed with bowel cancer and it was spreading to his liver and at the time, I didn’t realize how seriously ill he was and because John being a strong and fit man, I never thought something like this could ever take him down, so I never really worried too much. In my mind a few treatment sessions would cure him. I was obviously in denial.
It wasn’t until me and my bitch partner at the time went and had lunch at a tavern with Mum and John.
We met in the carpark and when John got out of the car I then realized how ill he really was. Trying to be strong, I went up to him and put my arms around him and hugged him. I then took his hand, held it tight and walked with him in front of my Mum and bitch partner and walked toward the tavern. After a couple of hours, John was getting very tired and it was time we left. If only I had known that would be the last time I ever saw John alive. Don’t ever take people’s lives for granted and think they will be here for ever. That day I could have said goodbye or I love you. Fuck! It still hurts!
In loving memory of John
My faith and trust in men was destroyed until my mother met you, making her one of the happiest women in the world for twenty four years. I never knew my mother to be so content with any other man, not even my father. She adored you and it showed in every way. The love and respect you had for one another, you don't find very often. You had a kind and gentle heart and were one of the easiest people to get along with. Your witty sense of humour was always welcoming and it was never judgemental on anyone’s part. You also never put anyone down although I had seen you annoyed at times but that’s normal, you were only human and when your human left this world, you took a piece of my Mums heart with you. You always did say you hoped you would go first because you could never handle it the other way around, now that is true love. It’s been nearly five years since you left and I know Mum misses you terribly and I don’t think time will ever make a difference because I still see and hear her cries sometimes and it hurts me because I feel her pain but there is nothing I can do but to give her a big hug.
I was so very proud to call you my step dad and I thank you for making my Mum happy; we all are. I will always love, miss and be thankful for your existence John (Dad)
My Dad
My Dad was twenty-three when I was born and stood around 5”8 with a short dark greasy rock n roller style hair do. He was a very handsome dude back then with gorgeous bright green eyes.
He too had been married three times; the first being to my Mum who had three children to him. The second marriage consisted of one child whom I have been close to on and off throughout the years but she has shut herself off from me too many times so I don’t bother trying to get close to her anymore. In my father’s third marriage, he had another two children but I don’t see them.
Apparently my Dad only got his fatherly instincts when I was born.
Why me? Obviously he had matured more when I was born and finally realized he had a responsibility in being a father.
Because of this, it just happened to be me he ever changed diapers for and he even took the liberty to name me. From birth to the time he left as such, I always felt like his little princess.
Maybe this could explain that when he did leave, I felt as though I was affected the most or