Part 1: Living in Authentic Relationship
Before all things existed there was relationship. Before time itself the triune God, three distinct personalities in one being, lived in beautiful, pure and complete intimacy. The Three-in-One knew and loved each other completely. Creation was an act of that relationship. After speaking the stars, planets, animals, plants and all other matter into being they said, “Let us make man in our image.”
“Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” Genesis 1:26
This act of love produced man who was, himself, a combination of body, mind and spirit. One man with multiple facets. But God knew that the creation process was not complete.
“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone.” Genesis 2:18
Adam needed a mate. The couple needed a family. The family needed friends. God met these needs; Adam did not.
Since that time we have individually existed in a trinity of relationship: ourselves, God and others. History is nothing more than a record of relationships and the consequences of those relationships.
Having trouble understanding the past? Examine past relationships. Having troubles today? Examine your current relationships with God and others. The answers are found there. Everything else follows.
Chapter 1: The Meaning of Life
Why are you here? What is the purpose of your life?
Jesus told us straight out what our mission is:
“And one of them, an expert in religious law, asked him a question to test him: ‘Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?’ Jesus said to him, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:35-40
Other translations say, “All the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments.”
We search for life’s meaning but Jesus has already told us what it is: our relationship with God and our relationship with others. Begin here. Focus on it. Meditate on it. Open your ears and heart and allow the Holy Spirit to teach you about it. If you go anywhere, go here. If you can’t go here, don’t go anywhere. Nothing else matters in comparison.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.”
God is only asking one primary thing from you: “Love me completely.” Your relationship with God is your purpose, the reason you are alive. To have a robust, intimate, evolving relationship with God is your reason for being. When you give a higher priority to anything else, you lose. Who really cares what you have accomplished if you haven’t fulfilled the greatest commandment? Not God. Not your mate. Not your family. Not your authentic friends.
Yet, for many who are raised in a church or faith tradition, there is a long list of “shoulds” that make up “being a good Christian.” Reading the Bible, attending Bible studies, volunteering at church, participating in prayer groups, etc., and still the Church is filled with people who don’t really know God.
Is God some remote deity who wants you to do x, y, and z to be in his good graces? Do you talk to Him in an intimate way or only when you need something? I think it’s worth asking yourself how you can love God with “all your heart, all your soul and all your mind.” How does that look different than what your relationship is like now?
What are some expressions of a healthy relationship?
You look forward to your time with the other person.
No secrets. You feel free to tell her anything. Nothing is hidden.
You look forward to hearing what he has to say.
You accept the other person as they are and feel accepted in return.
You think about him regularly and wonder how he is doing.
You communicate regularly.
How much are you supposed to love God? With your whole heart, as if nothing matters more. And it doesn’t. Nothing matters more.
One of the things that keeps us apart from God is judgment—or perhaps misjudgment is a better term. Since we ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil we have used what we think we know to incorrectly judge ourselves and others and, at times, even God.
“Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. But the man who loves God is known by God.” 1 Corinthians 8:1-3
We think we know what being a good Christian looks like, what being a good parent is, what being healthy is, who God is and how He works—but we really don’t know. Our thinking is pushed and pulled by our culture, our egos, our upbringing and every aspect of the earthly world and then we use that false knowledge to compare ourselves and negatively judge ourselves and others.
“She’s not a good Christian.” “God would never do that.” “He’s a terrible father.” These false perceptions and comparisons keep us from having the kind of authentic relationship God wants with us. We are so focused on “doing it right”according to what we know that we’re missing the point. We don’t know. God does.
“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:17-19
God can’t be put into a neat package that our minds can comprehend. The creator of the universe, designer of all life, cannot be fully understood by our limited human mind. Our job is not to try to figure out why God wants what he wants. Our job is to talk to Him, rely on Him, trust Him, be honest with Him, and spend time with Him—all the things we want from any other authentic relationship.
“Love your neighbor as yourself.”
We were not meant to live our lives alone. Your purpose is not complete unless you are in relationship with others. We were not meant to sit in conversation with God alone all day, every day, nor were we created to live out a solitary life focusing on our outer appearance while our innermost needs remain unexpressed and unmet. Shame, fear, depression, denial and anxiety are only a few symptoms of those unmet needs. They are warning signs that we are focused on earthly things instead of on our relationship with God and with others.
Though I don’t claim to understand it, I must admit it: In order to experience the fullness of life we need each other on a consistent basis and at an intimate level. The better my relationship with God, the more I start to see people through His eyes. It makes me want to 1) be the best I can be for them and 2) stay out of the way so He can be in relationship with them through me.
In India, the common greeting between people is “Namaste”, which roughly translated means, “the perfect light in me sees the perfect light in you.” When we see the “perfect light” of God in each other, in every interaction, we start to fulfill our purpose. While this may sound like a challenging task, it helps to remember that we’re not on our own with this one. The Holy Spirit is always there. In Matthew 18:20, God tells us ”For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them.” That means that every conversation is a three-way conversation—between