This is your primary reason for being.
Chapter 2: Reprioritizing
You have one purpose: Love God, Love your neighbor in every interaction every day you are on this planet. Only you can fulfill this purpose. Accomplishing this requires two things:
1 Loving God and loving your neighbor becomes your priority.
2 Making relationships with others the priority in every area of your life.
Our standard priorities lose meaning in light of this. How many people do you know that would say they “know” God? If you belong to a church community, probably every single one of them. They might think that their busy lives demonstrate how well they know God. They may even be “winning souls for Christ” through mission work or sharing their testimony with others. But do they have an intimacy with God that surpasses all other relationships? Now, I’m not saying there is anything wrong with any of the above activities. What I am saying is that knowing God is about much more than going through the motions that we think demonstrate our knowledge of Him. If we are going to make loving God our main concern—and we must if we are to live in the kind of authentic relationship He planned for us—then we have to make our relationship with Him our number one priority.
As we said earlier, to know God means spending time with Him. Listening to Him. Being aware of His presence, of His desire for you. Treating Him like you would your best friend. When we do these things, read His word, and strive to see God in every person we meet, that’s when we truly get to know Him. When our relationship with God is in the forefront of our minds every day, then we can’t help but love ourselves and our neighbor. Knowing Him is the foundation of living a life in authentic relationship and everything else flows from that.
Our achievement-oriented culture makes it easy for us to lose sight of this. In the documentary, “Happy”, the filmmaker illustrates how detrimental it is to our own sense of happiness when we value achievement over relationship. One story, set in Japan, one of the most achievement-oriented cultures in the world, focuses on people who are actually dying from overwork and lack of genuine relationships. They have a name for it: “Karoshi”.
Without food, air, and water, we die. Without relationship, we die. God did not design us as human “doings.” All of our achievements and hard work are fine for this world but they are not our purpose. Work, school, family, and community are all there to provide us with one thing: the opportunity to be in authentic relationship with others. Everything we are involved in is simply a context in which we can connect with other people through the Holy Spirit. Authentic relationship is the only thing that will fill the hole of loneliness that cripples us and, in some cases, kills us.
Even though authentic relationships are sometimes challenging, especially when we’re dealing with difficult people or situations, or when we’ve never experinced healthy relationships, God is there to lighten our load. In Matthew 11:28-30 he tells us:
“Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
When we recognize that the Holy Spirit is present and let God do the heavy lifting, life is much less difficult than it otherwise would be! There is a joke that goes:
What’s the difference between you and God? God doesn’t pretend to be you.
We don’t have to try to be in control of anything. God’s got it covered. Sure, living life this way doesn’t happen overnight. The good news—no the great news—is that God gives us opportunities to practice every day. We don’t have to be great at having authentic exchanges right away; God allows us to practice, one interaction at a time.
This past Christmas season my daughter and I spent a day together shopping. For me it was just so much fun to be with her and each of the shopkeepers, waitresses and cashiers we met. At the end of the day she told me, “Dad, people just love you. I don’t know how you do it.” It was an opportunity for me to share what I’m learning and to explain God’s role in it. There is nothing better than seeing love in action and I’m so grateful my daughter got to witness it first hand.
In every interaction, we have the opportunity to create an authentic relationship whether it’s with someone we’ve known 10 seconds or someone we’ve known 10 years. With each person we meet, we can allow God to participate. In order for the other person to connect with Him through us, we must give up any selfish priorities. When people meet you, are they experiencing God or your ego? Is His plan or yours at work in the conversation? His plan is always better.
What are some of the things we normally prioritize in interactions with others?
being right
getting our way
being efficient
getting things done
getting something we need
providing a service
Once we recognize that there is a goal far beyond the worldly reason for our interaction every conversation is elevated to a heavenly purpose. We may or may not ever see or understand what God accomplished but, if we trust that He is there and using us, then we have done what we’re supposed to do. Interacting in this way means we put all of those other priorities on the back burner and have one priority: love God, love your neighbor
By making our own immediate and worldly priorities second to this command, we are fulfilling God’s purpose in every interaction.
Start ordering your day in light of this simple truth. When you look at what’s important, make sure it’s “who, not what.” As you’re making decisions, put the “who” first. The “what’s” are what get us off track.
Who is with me?
Who is affected?
Who is involved?
Who does this matter to?
There is really no such thing as a “random interaction.” Each human encounter has a reason.
How many times do we just go through the motions of our day? We get up, get the kids off to school, go to work, clean the house, do the shopping, go to church—often without having an authentic conversation the entire day.
Making relationships a priority means taking the time to be present. It means being aware of the people with whom we’re interacting and taking the time to really see them, really listen to them. Rather than averting our eyes in line at the grocery store, it means engaging others in conversation. Many of those seemingly random people you encounter are feeling isolated, alone and unhappy. One small gesture—a quick smile, a light conversation, a compliment, sharing a joke—can change all that.
It can be scary to reach out to others. In fact, at first, some people might look at you like you’re from another planet! But soon you’ll find that you are demonstrating Christ’s love in the world. You will be changing lives, one interaction at a time.
“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Chapter 3: One Interaction at a Time
Think about the interactions you’ve had so far today. What