Have you made up your mind? Have you decided that you truly want to change your life? If so, your body is waiting for its marching orders. It will do what is necessary to align itself in support of your decision. This requires some action steps that will be discussed in the following chapters. Your commitment to yourself begins with a signed contract. You can duplicate the writing below in your notebook, or go on to my Web site (www.creatingamazinglives.com) to download a copy.
Success Contract
I, __________________, on this, the __________________ day of, __________________, 20 ___, am making a declaration that I am in the driver’s seat of my life. I am ready to take control of my thoughts, actions, and success. I have made a decision that I am ready to create an amazing life for myself. By signing this contract, I am in agreement with myself that I will do everything within my power to make a deliberate effort to be healthy in mind, body, and spirit. I understand that by doing so will result in success in every area of my life. I am truly ready to create an amazing life.
Destiny-Defining Questions
As I mentioned before, in order to be successful, you must be very clear about what you want from life. These next three questions will help you create your own personal success system. Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of the questions. It’s how you answer them that will help you to determine your success. After you’ve looked at a question, write your answers in your Amazing Life notebook.
1. Where Am I?
This is the time to check in and find out exactly where you are on your journey. If you’ve ever looked at a mall directory, one of the first things you see is the big red arrow pointing to the spot that says “You are here!” Seeing exactly where you are helps you orientate yourself and know how far away you are from your destination. As I shared earlier, I had to evaluate just where I was after my twenty-year marriage ended in a divorce. I examined my life on an emotional, financial, spiritual, and physical level. I have to admit that things did not look good. When I took a hard look at where I was, I had to hold back the tears and practice my stress-breathing techniques. Nothing could have prepared me for the emotional depletion that was taking place in my body as I stared at the hard cold facts in front of me.
Perhaps you find it difficult to face your current state, but in order to move forward, you have to be prepared to confront the truth of your situation, whatever it may be. We all know people who prefer to live in a state of ignorance than acknowledge the fact that their finances or lives are in shambles. Maybe it’s your brother who spends money on electronic gadgets and then borrows money from you to pay his bills. Maybe your friend is in an unhealthy relationship yet claims that she’s okay because she sees nothing wrong. It may be your husband who refuses to open an unpaid bill, almost convincing himself that if he doesn’t look at it, the bill doesn’t exist.
Behaving like Stubborn Sam will keep you stuck in a cycle of getting nowhere. Becoming “real,” admitting the situation, and focusing on where you are begins recovery of any kind. To move forward in life is to have a realistic assessment of where you are.
I want you to take a minute to evaluate your life in six categories— family, job/career, finances, health, relationships, and spirituality. You can record your answers in your Amazing Life notebook.
Rate your satisfaction in these categories on a scale of 1–10 with 1 being the lowest, meaning you are not at all satisfied in this area, and 10 being the highest, meaning you are exceptionally satisfied in this area.
You will probably notice that your scores may be high in some areas and very low in others. The ones you scored lowest will be your priority areas for improvement. Your goal is to achieve an 8 or above in each category. Throughout the book, you will be provided with strategies that will help you increase your score in each of the categories.
2. Where Do I Want to Go?
Now that you have a realistic picture of how successful you do (or don’t) feel in these key areas, you can begin to identify specific areas of improvement.
The first step in identifying what you need to improve upon is to look at the six categories again and write your desired score for each category. For example, if you rated yourself a three in the finance category, what score would you like to achieve that will make you sufficiently satisfied? Next, determine as precisely as possible why you evaluated that category with the number that you did. Perhaps you rated yourself a three because you have $15,000 in debt and only $200 in savings. Determine the dollar amount that you would need to decrease your debt by and increase your savings by that would make you satisfied and thus raise your score. Repeat this same exercise for each category that needs improvement. In the end, your chart might look something like this:
| Current score | Desired score | |
| Family | 3 | 10 |
| Job/career | 4 | 8 |
| Finances | 3 | 10 |
| Health | 6 | 9 |
| Relationships | 4 | 9 |
| Spirituality | 3 | 8 |
| Reason | Goal | |
| Family | Spend only 30 minutes a day with kids | Spend at least two hours a day with them |
| Job/career | Feeling stagnant | Research new job opportunities |
| Finances | $7k debt / $200 in savings | $3.5k debt/$1,000 in savings |
| Health | 15 pounds overweight | Lose 15 pounds |
| Relationships | Hardly ever check on my siblings | Commit to calling siblings 2x/month |
| Spirituality | Spend little time on my inner self | Spend 30 minutes a day on inspirational reading, praying, meditating |
3. How Do I Get There?
Gabby didn’t like where things were in her life. She felt stuck at a deadend job, had no money in savings, had a broken relationship, hadn’t spoken to her sister in years, and felt like she didn’t have a spiritual connection to God. So much in her life seemed broken. She knew that things needed to be fixed, but where do you start when every area of your life seems to be in shambles?
If you are like Gabby, it can feel overwhelming if more than one area of your life needs improvement. The challenge of tackling so many things may seem daunting, so you circle right back to denial and make no changes at all. The trick is to develop a blueprint for success, with goals that are small, clear, and manageable. This is where you map out the directions—the planning stage. You have to write out your goals, the plan, and a timeline. Armed with a detailed plan, you will feel more empowered to tackle changes, and feel encouraged as you check off action items.
This strategy proved to be successful for Gabby. She got back on track by first admitting that she needed help and seeking guidance. When she and I met, we created a plan for her life. We focused on one area at a time, starting on strategies for her relationships. That helped to bring a sense of peace and stability. Then she was able to focus on recovery of her finances, which included setting goals for herself such as establishing a budget, updating her résumé, and following a financial plan.
Let’s go back and look at our finance