Until you build your awareness of your habitual inner critical thoughts, however, it may help to poke a stick at them to bring them out into the open.
Purpose: To start to unearth your inner critical thoughts
You know you have an active Inner Critic, but you’ve gotten so used to its diatribes that it barely registers with you anymore, right? To bring your inner critical voice back into your consciousness, we’re going to use Mad Libs to imitate your Inner Critic.
Fill in the following sentences with the first words that come to you. Write as many variations of each sentence as you can before moving on to the next one. Or you can run through the list multiple times, answering each question differently.
I can’t because .
I’m not enough.
I’m afraid that I’m because I .
I never because I always .
I’m afraid that I’ll because I .
I can’t because I’m not as
as others.
If I then people will .
I shouldn’t because I haven’t .
I because my ideas .
I’m too .
Did you discover some thoughts and beliefs that you didn’t know were there? Nice work! Now you are better equipped to start the process
of refuting or dismissing them. You may want to do these Mad Libs every couple of months to see if you can bring to light any new mistaken beliefs that have been lying just beneath the surface of your conscious mind.
Here’s a bonus question for you:
My biggest fear around my creativity is
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
Spend time on this question. Is it patently true? Is it circumstantially true? Make a commitment to start challenging this fear.
Remember, we’re now using mindfulness to observe our thoughts, so don’t believe everything you think.
Give It A Name
As you are well aware, trying not to think about something never works. The term for this phenomenon is “thought stopping.”39 It’s ineffective because it forces you to pay attention to the very thought that you’re trying so desperately to avoid. Similarly, attempting to act like your Inner Critic doesn’t exist and isn’t wreaking havoc in your consciousness when you are having an “episode” is like denying that you’re trying to walk with a broken leg. It’s painful and unnecessary. Being in denial about something doesn’t change the facts. Most of the time, the most helpful thing to do is to call a spade a spade, because then you can take positive action.
If you’ve never read the young adult science fiction classic A Wind in the Door by Madeleine L’Engle, I highly recommend it. In the book, the main character Meg finds that she has a subtle, yet potent superpower: she is able to Name things, and that doing so gives them identity, shape, and substance. I encourage you to channel this power toward recognizing when your Inner Critic makes an appearance, and then putting a name to it.
Make an effort to keep in mind that there’s your Inner Critic, and then there’s You. You are so much bigger and grander than your Inner Critic. The fact that you can even recognize that there are different parts of yourself at play speaks to the part of your consciousness that is a higher-level observer, who impartially views all that you do, say, and think. Profound, but true.
On a psychological level, this practice creates mental distance between You and the self-critical thoughts. Thinking about your thoughts differently keeps those Inner Critic circuits from firing, which is the key to begin changing them.
Applying the practice of naming your Inner Critic will accomplish several things. First, it increases your awareness of what feels like a threat to the self and your automatic response to it. Second, naming it creates the needed mental distance between you and your inner critical voice. Third, it opens up the space to extend compassion to the part of your psyche that feels attacked and needs comforting.
Purpose: To become more conscious of the Inner Critic’s presence
The sensations may start slowly, creeping over your awareness. You start feeling anxious, your head gets that familiar sense of pressure, and you start making snarky remarks to yourself about your behavior or global disparaging comments about who you are as a person. It’s happened so many times before, but now you see it clearly: you’re having an Inner Critic attack.
Part 1: Call It
When you realize you are beginning to feel an impending Inner
Critic attack, the best thing you can do stop it is to name it. That’s right, name it.
Say something like the following out loud (if you’re around people, you can think it in your head):
“My Inner Critic is rearing its head.”
“I’m having an Inner Critic attack right now.”
“Oh look: my Inner Critic is here.” (*waves*)
Anything that helps you realize that the overwrought internal protector is attempting to take over your thinking is useful.
Respond to noticing the appearance of your Inner Critic dispassionately, as if you are remarking upon the grass being green or the sky being blue. The goal is to begin disconnecting from emotions while noticing that inner critical thoughts are coming up.
Part 2: Give Your Inner Critic a Name
Have fun with it: give your Inner Critic an actual name and
a personality.
Give your Inner Critic a name, and when it shows up, you can be like, “Hey Bart.”
Continue having fun with this and give your Inner Critic a personality and affect as well. For example, you can imagine your Inner Critic talking with a silly voice and being overly dramatic about everything.
When you’ve made your Inner Critic less of a prominent presence in your mind, return your attention to the task at hand.
Part 3: Give Your Inner Critic a Back story
If we’re going to personalize the Inner Critic, we might as well go for it, right?
Your Inner Critic came from somewhere, aren’t you curious to know from where and why?
Envision in your mind’s eye who your Inner Critic is and what it’s all about.
Then sit down and write it out your Inner Critic’s origin story. You can use this framework to get started:
Hello, I’m your Inner Critic and my name is _______________________.
I was born in ____________________________, because __________________________________________________...
Keep adding to the story until you feel complete with it.
What did you discover about your Inner Critic that you didn’t