Then we need to rebuild the very structure and circuitry that generates our self-critical thoughts and encourage these parts of our brains to fade in the face of different thoughts coming from newly developed structures and networks. The thinking and emotional circuits of our brains are far more alterable than we think. Profound mental changes can come from training the brain to think, and therefore work, differently.
The Inner Critic uses the tendencies of the brain and the tools of the mind to fulfill its role as protector. To take back our creative power, we will do the same.
Banishing the Inner Critic is all about building a new mind frame. Literally.
Recognize the Power of Thinking Differently
“Think Different.”
— Apple Inc.
Many of us have built up a lifelong habit of being hard on ourselves: beating ourselves up for alleged mistakes or missteps, preemptively judging ourselves, and worse. When confronted with adverse situations or an unloved personal trait, our brains fall into a groove of self-chastisement, a knee-jerk reaction of self-berating. If you’ve had experience with mastering a sport, an instrument, or a language (spoken, written, or programming), then you know that repetition is what makes a skill stick to the point that you no longer have to think to execute it. It becomes a reflex. We can think of the Inner Critic as a mastered reflex: a habitual response strengthened by years of practice.
To take back the reins of power from the Inner Critic of our mind, emotions, and actions, we need to learn to have better control over what we think on a regular basis. The path to banishing our Inner Critic starts by changing our thoughts. I’m sure that this sounds overly simplistic. But when you understand the ever-changing nature of our brains, you’ll see how effective changing our thoughts truly is.
Take Advantage of the Brain’s Plasticity
“The brain is a far more open system than we ever imagined, and nature has gone very far to help us perceive and take in the world around us. It has given us a brain that survives in a changing world by changing itself.”
— Norman Doidge, The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science
Although we developed our self-critical patterns of thinking when we were young, and as a result, they are well-entrenched, their habitual nature works to our advantage. We can break and replace obsolete thought patterns with new, more supportive ones. Before you dismiss this as empty encouragement toward “the power of positive thinking,” understand that the process works because of neuroscience. Specifically, we’ll leverage the quality of our brains known as neuroplasticity: the ability to create new connections between nerve cells in response to change.
For years, the accepted model was that the nerve structure of the adult brain was fixed and locked in place. But more recent findings show that this stance is completely inaccurate. Instead of settling into a static mass of rigid neurons in adulthood, our brains are highly adaptable and, in fact, undergo continuous change during our lives. We can thank neuroplasticity for our ability to learn new facts, develop new skills, and adapt to new conditions.1
What we think about most gets the most space in our brains. Thought circuits and neuronal networks are constantly being created and dismantled. Mental focus and concentration push various regions of the brain to expand, while low activity in other areas signals their disuse. The more activity that a brain function, thought process, or skill gets, the more neural real estate it is allotted. Alternately, certain brain cells mark unused circuits and eventually prune them away for the expansion of those pathways crackling with activity.2
In a very real and concrete way, the thoughts that comprise our everyday thinking sculpt and mold our brains.3
What you think about is determined by what you pay attention to. The information that our brains and minds take in and make use of depends on how new and interesting it is, how strong a signal it has, or how much attention we give it. It’s attention that decides what our senses take in. Without attention, experiences don’t register in the mind and may not even be stored in memory. Brain imaging shows that when we pay attention to something, not only are the neurons involved activated, but neural activity in other areas is suppressed as a result.4 Such activation and suppression effectively strengthens one network of neurons over another. In fact, attention is so central to neuroplasticity that in her book Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain, author Sharon Begley suggests that training your attention can be considered “the gateway to plasticity.”5
The problem is that when the Inner Critic makes an appearance, the resulting self-critical thoughts steal our attention and thus our brainpower away from what’s in front of us. Our focus shifts away from what is happening in the present to our fear-tinged memories of previous disappointments or our anxieties of a negative future.
To think differently, attention is key. In his book, The Inner Game of Work, W. Timothy Gallwey eloquently describes how the combination of attention and focus is a natural barrier to the Inner Critic. He says, “...when we are giving full attention, self-interference is neutralized. In the fullness of focus, there is no room for [the Inner Critic’s] fears or doubts.”6 Our internal equilibrium is a direct result of our ability to maintain focus on thoughts that nourish and sustain our positive sense of self. When our Inner Critic reflex kicks in and distracts us from what we’re doing, redirecting our focus by thinking different thoughts is what “distracts” us back to our purpose.
Rehabilitate Your Thoughts
“When we direct our thoughts properly, we can control our emotions.”
— W. Clement Stone, author, businessman and philanthropist
Our brains’ plastic nature extends to emotions as well. For the purposes of silencing the Inner Critic, this is the mother lode of neuroplasticity. By altering connections between the thinking brain and the emotional brain, research shows that thoughts have the power to transform our emotions, behavior, and mind frames.7 In fact, the findings from various studies of employing new ways to look at, deal with, and generate thoughts to treat imbalanced mental states caused by distorted thinking have been the stuff that shifts paradigms.
These studies employed mental training based on cognitive therapy, mindfulness training, or a combination of both, which are all forms of meta-cognitive learning. Meta-cognitive learning is the deceptively simple yet powerful practice of learning from observing one’s mind and thoughts. What they found is this:
What and how a person thinks about things can mean the difference between staying depressed or returning to a more positive mind frame with reduced incidence of relapse.8
What and how a person thinks about things can mean the difference between feeling at the mercy of obsessive-compulsive disorder or feeling in control of it.9
Using a meta-cognitive approach to apply new methods to deal with self-critical thoughts helps people reverse deep feelings of anxiety, shame, and the tendency to self-attack.10 Therapies based on meta-cognitive learning target the thinking brain, but they are also highly effective at rebalancing distressed mental states.
Further results from these studies indicate that with the proper structure, our aspiration to banish the Inner Critic is more than attainable – it’s likely. Consciously thinking about our thoughts in a different way not only alters the very circuits those thoughts run on,11 but also reshapes how we process information,12 and creates a long-term impact on our thinking patterns and brain pathways.13
Our minds are so much more powerful than we realize. In our quest to quiet the inner voice of heightened self-criticism, our thoughts can heal.
Through observing our mind and thoughts, we can learn to identify distressing emotional responses and unhelpful thinking about the self and the world. By using a framework for reappraising thoughts that previously have been emotional hooks or triggers, we can relate differently to negative thoughts, feelings, and memories.14 As we begin to challenge inaccurate thinking and modify beliefs, we can transform unwanted