GRUMIO.
What’s that to thee?
CURTIS.
Why, a horse.
GRUMIO.
Tell thou the tale: but hadst thou not crossed me, thou shouldst have heard how her horse fell and she under her horse; thou shouldst have heard in how miry a place, how she was bemoiled; how he left her with the horse upon her; how he beat me because her horse stumbled; how she waded through the dirt to pluck him off me: how he swore; how she prayed, that never prayed before; how I cried; how the horses ran away; how her bridle was burst; how I lost my crupper; with many things of worthy memory, which now shall die in oblivion, and thou return unexperienced to thy grave.
CURTIS.
By this reckoning he is more shrew than she.
GRUMIO.
Ay; and that thou and the proudest of you all shall find when he comes home. But what talk I of this? Call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop, and the rest; let their heads be sleekly combed, their blue coats brush’d and their garters of an indifferent knit; let them curtsy with their left legs, and not presume to touch a hair of my master’s horse-tail till they kiss their hands. Are they all ready?
CURTIS.
They are.
GRUMIO.
Call them forth
CURTIS.
Do you hear? ho! You must meet my master to countenance my mistress.
GRUMIO.
Why, she hath a face of her own.
CURTIS.
Who knows not that?
GRUMIO.
Thou, it seems, that calls for company to countenance her.
CURTIS.
I call them forth to credit her.
GRUMIO.
Why, she comes to borrow nothing of them.
[Enter several SERVANTS.]
NATHANIEL.
Welcome home, Grumio!
PHILIP.
How now, Grumio!
JOSEPH.
What, Grumio!
NICHOLAS.
Fellow Grumio!
NATHANIEL.
How now, old lad!
GRUMIO.
Welcome, you; how now, you; what, you; fellow, you; and thus much for greeting. Now, my spruce companions, is all ready, and all things neat?
NATHANIEL.
All things is ready. How near is our master?
GRUMIO.
E’en at hand, alighted by this; and therefore be not,—
Cock’s passion, silence! I hear my master.
[Enter PETRUCHIO and KATHERINA.]
PETRUCHIO.
Where be these knaves? What! no man at door
To hold my stirrup nor to take my horse?
Where is Nathaniel, Gregory, Philip?—
ALL SERVANTS.
Here, here, sir; here, sir.
PETRUCHIO.
Here, sir! here, sir! here, sir! here, sir!
You loggerheaded and unpolish’d grooms!
What, no attendance? no regard? no duty?
Where is the foolish knave I sent before?
GRUMIO.
Here, sir; as foolish as I was before.
PETRUCHIO.
You peasant swain! you whoreson malt-horse drudge!
Did I not bid thee meet me in the park,
And bring along these rascal knaves with thee?
GRUMIO.
Nathaniel’s coat, sir, was not fully made,
And Gabriel’s pumps were all unpink’d i’ the heel;
There was no link to colour Peter’s hat,
And Walter’s dagger was not come from sheathing;
There was none fine but Adam, Ralph, and Gregory;
The rest were ragged, old, and beggarly;
Yet, as they are, here are they come to meet you.
PETRUCHIO.
Go, rascals, go and fetch my supper in.
[Exeunt some of the SERVANTS.]
Where is the life that late I led?
Where are those—? Sit down, Kate, and welcome.
Soud, soud, soud, soud!
[Re-enter SERVANTS with supper.]
Why, when, I say?—Nay, good sweet Kate, be merry.—
Off with my boots, you rogues! you villains! when?
It was the friar of orders grey,
As he forth walked on his way:
Out, you rogue! you pluck my foot awry:
[Strikes him.]
Take that, and mend the plucking off the other.
Be merry, Kate. Some water, here; what, ho!
Where’s my spaniel Troilus? Sirrah, get you hence
And bid my cousin Ferdinand come hither:
[Exit SERVANT.]
One, Kate, that you must kiss and be acquainted with.
Where are my slippers? Shall I have some water?
Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily.—
[SERVANT lets the ewer fall. PETRUCHIO strikes him.]
You whoreson villain! will you let it fall?
KATHERINA.
Patience, I pray you; ‘twas a fault unwilling.
PETRUCHIO.
A whoreson, beetle-headed, flap-ear’d knave!
Come, Kate, sit down; I know you have a stomach.
Will you give thanks, sweet Kate, or else shall I?—
What’s this? Mutton?
FIRST SERVANT.
Ay.
PETRUCHIO.
Who brought it?
PETER.
I.
PETRUCHIO.
‘Tis burnt; and so is all the meat.
What dogs are these! Where is the rascal cook?
How durst you, villains, bring it from the dresser,
And serve it thus to me that love it not?
[Throws the meat, etc., at them.]
There, take it to you, trenchers, cups, and all.
You heedless joltheads and unmanner’d slaves!
What! do you grumble? I’ll be with you straight.
KATHERINA.
I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet;
The meat was well, if you