to elect you to the throne on the understanding that the posts
about the Court are to be filled by members of your theatrical
troupe, according to their professional importance.
ERN. That is so.
JULIA. Then all I can say is that it places me in an
extremely awkward position.
ERN. (very depressed). I don't see how it concerns you.
JULIA. Why, bless my heart, don't you see that, as your
leading lady, I am bound under a serious penalty to play the
leading part in all your productions?
ERN. Well?
JULIA. Why, of course, the leading part in this production
will be the Grand Duchess!
ERN. My wife?
JULIA. That is another way of expressing the same idea.
ERN. (aside—delighted). I scarcely dared even to hope
for
this!
JULIA. Of course, as your leading lady, you'll be mean
enough to hold me to the terms of my agreement. Oh, that's so
like a man! Well, I suppose there's no help for it—I shall have
to do it!
ERN. (aside). She's mine! (Aloud.) But—do you really
think you would care to play that part? (Taking her hand.)
JULIA (withdrawing it). Care to play it? Certainly
not—but what am I to do? Business is business, and I am bound
by the terms of my agreement.
ERN. It's for a long run, mind—a run that may last many,
many years—no understudy—and once embarked upon there's no
throwing it up.
JULIA. Oh, we're used to these long runs in England: they
are the curse of the stage—but, you see, I've no option.
ERN. You think the part of Grand Duchess will be good
enough for you?
JULIA. Oh, I think so. It's a very good part in
Gerolstein, and oughtn't to be a bad one in Pfennig Halbpfennig.
Why, what did you suppose I was going to play?
ERN. (keeping up a show of reluctance) But, considering
your strong personal dislike to me and your persistent rejection
of my repeated offers, won't you find it difficult to throw
yourself into the part with all the impassioned enthusiasm that
the character seems to demand? Remember, it's a strongly
emotional part, involving long and repeated scenes of rapture,
tenderness, adoration, devotion—all in luxuriant excess, and all
of the most demonstrative description.
JULIA. My good sir, throughout my career I have made it a
rule never to allow private feeling to interfere with my
professional duties. You may be quite sure that (however
distasteful the part may be) if I undertake it, I shall consider
myself professionally bound to throw myself into it with all the
ardour at my command.
ERN. (aside—with effusion). I'm the happiest fellow
alive!
(Aloud.) Now—would you have any objection—to—to give me some
idea—if it's only a mere sketch—as to how you would play it?
It would be really interesting—to me—to know your conception
of—of—the part of my wife.
JULIA. How would I play it? Now, let me see—let me see.
(Considering.) Ah, I have it!
BALLAD—JULIA.
How would I play this part—
The Grand Duke's Bride?
All rancour in my heart
I'd duly hide—
I'd drive it from my recollection
And 'whelm you with a mock affection,
Well calculated to defy detection—
That's how I'd play this part—
The Grand Duke's Bride.
With many a winsome smile
I'd witch and woo;
With gay and girlish guile
I'd frenzy you—
I'd madden you with my caressing,
Like turtle, her first love confessing—
That it was "mock", no mortal would be
guessing,
With so much winsome wile
I'd witch and woo!
Did any other maid
With you succeed,
I'd pinch the forward jade—
I would indeed!
With jealous frenzy agitated
(Which would, of course, be simulated),
I'd make her wish she'd never been created—
Did any other maid
With you succeed!
And should there come to me,
Some summers hence,
In all the childish glee
Of innocence,
Fair babes, aglow with beauty vernal,
My heart would bound with joy diurnal!
This sweet display of sympathy maternal,
Well, that would also be
A mere pretence!
My histrionic art
Though you deride,
That's how I'd play that part—
The Grand Duke's Bride!
ENSEMBLE.
ERNEST. JULIA.
Oh joy! when two glowing young My boy, when two
glowing
hearts, young hearts
From the rise of the curtain, From the rise of the
curtain,
Thus throw themselves into their Thus throw themselves
into
their parts, parts,
Success is most certain! Success is most
certain!
If the role you're prepared to endow The role I'm prepared
to
endow
With such delicate touches, With most delicate
touch-
es,
By the heaven above us, I vow By the heaven above us,
I
vow
You shall be my Grand Duchess! I will be your Grand
Duchess!