Sing song! Sing song!
Some prefer the churchyard mould!
Strange the views some people hold!
NOT. (offering a card to ERNEST).
Now take a card and gaily sing
How little you care for Fortune's rubs—
ERN. (drawing a card).
Hurrah, hurrah!—I've drawn a King:
ALL. He's drawn a King!
He's drawn a King!
Sing Hearts and Diamonds, Spades and Clubs!
ALL (dancing). He's drawn a King!
How strange a thing!
An excellent card—his chance it aids—
Sing Hearts and Diamonds, Spades and Clubs—
Sing Diamonds, Hearts and Clubs and Spades!
NOT. (to LUDWIG).
Now take a card with heart of grace—
(Whatever our fate, let's play our parts).
LUD. (drawing card).
Hurrah, hurrah!—I've drawn an Ace!
ALL. He's drawn an Ace!
He's drawn an Ace!
Sing Clubs and Diamonds, Spades and Hearts!
ALL (dancing).
He's drawn an Ace!
Observe his face—
Such very good fortune falls to few—
Sing Clubs and Diamonds, Spades and Hearts—
Sing Clubs, Spades, Hearts and Diamonds too!
NOT. That both these maids may keep their troth,
And never misfortune them befall,
I'll hold 'em as trustee for both—
ALL. He'll hold 'em both!
He'll hold 'em both!
Sing Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds, Spades and all!
ALL (dancing). By joint decree
As {our/your} trustee
This Notary {we/you} will now instal—
In custody let him keep {their/our} hearts,
Sing Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds, Spades and all!
[Dance and exeunt LUDWIG, ERNEST, and
NOTARY with the two Girls.
March. Enter the seven Chamberlains of the
GRAND DUKE RUDOLPH.
CHORUS OF CHAMBERLAINS.
The good Grand Duke of Pfennig Halbpfennig,
Though, in his own opinion, very very big,
In point of fact he's nothing but a miserable prig
Is the good Grand Duke of Pfennig Halbpfennig!
Though quite contemptible, as every one agrees,
We must dissemble if we want our bread and cheese,
So hail him in a chorus, with enthusiasm big,
The good Grand Duke of Pfennig Halbpfennig!
Enter the GRAND DUKE RUDOLPH. He is meanly and miserably dressed
in old and patched clothes, but blazes with a profusion of
orders and decorations. He is very weak and ill, from low
living.
SONG—RUDOLPH.
A pattern to professors of monarchical autonomy,
I don't indulge in levity or compromising bonhomie,
But dignified formality, consistent with economy,
Above all other virtues I particularly prize.
I never join in merriment—I don't see joke or jape any—
I never tolerate familiarity in shape any—
This, joined with an extravagant respect for
tuppence-ha'penny,
A keynote to my character sufficiently supplies.
(Speaking.) Observe. (To Chamberlains.) My snuff-box!
(The snuff-box is passed with much ceremony from the Junior
Chamberlain, through all the others, until it is presented
by the Senior Chamberlain to RUDOLPH, who uses it.)
That incident a keynote to my character supplies.
RUD. I weigh out tea and sugar with precision mathematical—
Instead of beer, a penny each—my orders are emphatical—
(Extravagance unpardonable, any more than that I call),
But, on the other hand, my Ducal dignity to keep—
All Courtly ceremonial—to put it comprehensively—
I rigidly insist upon (but not, I hope, offensively)
Whenever ceremonial can be practised inexpensively—
And, when you come to think of it, it's really very
cheap!
(Speaking.) Observe. (To Chamberlains.) My handkerchief!
(Handkerchief is handed by Junior Chamberlain to the next in
order, and so on until it reaches RUDOLPH, who is much
inconvenienced by the delay.)
It's sometimes inconvenient, but it's always very cheap!
RUD. My Lord Chamberlain, as you are aware, my marriage
with the wealthy Baroness von Krakenfeldt will take place
to-morrow, and you will be good enough to see that the rejoicings
are on a scale of unusual liberality. Pass that on. (Chamberlain
whispers to Vice-Chamberlain, who whispers to the next, and so
on.) The sports will begin with a Wedding Breakfast Bee. The
leading pastry-cooks of the town will be invited to compete, and
the winner will not only enjoy the satisfaction of seeing his
breakfast devoured by the Grand Ducal pair, but he will also be
entitled to have the Arms of Pfennig Halbpfennig tattoo'd between
his shoulder-blades. The Vice-Chamberlain will see to this. All
the public fountains of Speisesaal will run with Gingerbierheim
and Currantweinmilch at the public expense. The Assistant
Vice-Chamberlain will see to this. At night, everybody will
illuminate; and as I have no desire to tax the public funds
unduly, this will be done at the inhabitants' private expense.
The Deputy Assistant Vice-Chamberlain will see to this. All my
Grand Ducal subjects will wear new clothes, and the Sub-Deputy
Assistant Vice-Chamberlain will collect the usual commission on
all sales. Wedding presents (which, on this occasion, should be
on a scale of extraordinary magnificence) will be received at the
Palace at any hour of the twenty-four, and the Temporary
Sub-Deputy Assistant Vice-Chamberlain will sit up all night for
this purpose. The entire population will be commanded to enjoy