I knew, without doubt, that Sarah had not caused this miscarriage but I could also understand the pain and anger she felt at herself. It is the woman who carries the child, and when that child is lost before it has reached full term, blaming herself is the natural thing for a mother to do. Sarah was full of remorse. I tried to explain to her my belief that an energy or spirit only comes here for as long as it needs to – in some cases only for minutes, in some for a week, in some for ninety years. Sarah’s baby had been here for as long as it needed. The more she carried the guilt with her, the longer the negative impact would remain. She wanted a baby, but if she kept thinking that way she would be weighed down by heavy, negative, sorrowful energy. That doesn’t create a happy, inviting environment for another baby. I wasn’t underestimating Sarah’s grief – and would never underestimate any woman’s grief, as I’ve been there myself – but you can’t change what’s happened. You can only change how you look at things and your attitude towards the past to allow you to move on in the best possible way.
Some women miscarry very early on in a pregnancy, but they still need to know that wee soul is all right. When I give them that confirmation, I can almost see their worry lift. I meet many women who have never told anyone about their lost babies, but I can see them all. Once I tell them that, they know that the life they once held inside them, for a brief moment, mattered. It is still their child, their little one, and they still have maternal feelings towards it, so once they know that the soul is happy and forgiving it can change their whole energy. I have done readings for women in their seventies and eighties who have lost babies fifty or more years earlier, but they still think of them, and they still take comfort when I give them that recognition.
The responsibility that comes with this gift I have been blessed with is something I never take for granted or treat in a blasé manner. I often have to be a counsellor as much as a psychic. I explained to Sarah why some pregnancies end early and told her my sense that she would definitely have another child in the very near future – which she did. I told her that the baby she had lost would be with her in spirit as she went through her next pregnancy and would give her tremendous support.
Losing babies
Realising that a baby isn’t meant to be is a terribly sad thing and I feel for any woman who goes through it. Soon after I’d had my four children, I discovered that I was pregnant again. My immediate thought was, ‘I can’t cope.’ I already had four children under five years of age and simply didn’t know how I would manage. The thought that I might be carrying twins again made the fear even greater. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that I didn’t want to be pregnant and I even considered ending the pregnancy, which was against every nurturing bone in my body. When I miscarried, I was distraught because I knew, in my heart of hearts, that I would have loved that baby just as much as I did the others. I would have coped somehow, no matter how bleak the picture seemed. The day I started bleeding, I knew it was over, and I blamed myself completely. I was convinced that my negative way of thinking had brought on the miscarriage.
Sometimes, when I do a reading for a woman, I can tell she’s had a termination. There’s no way of confusing it with a miscarriage. First of all, I have the sense of a sudden ending; and secondly, in all honesty, that’s often why the woman has come to me in the first place. With a miscarriage there is more of a gentle progression to spirit. I’ve often heard women say that they have carried guilt about terminations for years, but I don’t believe any of us has a right to judge. Whatever a woman goes through is part of her journey on this plane.
Recently, I read for a woman who I knew had a child in spirit. ‘I can see a small white coffin,’ I told her, and it was obvious that this was a child who had been stillborn rather than miscarried or terminated. Her eyes filled up straight away. The rawness of the emotions where babies are concerned is never far from the surface, and I held her hand as I said that I could also see a little white teddy bear at the side and several other little trinkets in the coffin. She was filled with joy at the thought that her baby, wherever she was, still had the trinkets that she had lovingly placed in the coffin for her. A teddy bear, a rose and a photograph were all very clear to me. It is comforting for people to know that type of thing – and it’s uplifting too. The spirit of the baby wants the mum to know that it has these mementoes and that it appreciates the fact that she put them there.
I advise every woman who loses a baby to be gentle with herself, and to create a positive emotional environment for any other babies who may be waiting. It could be easier said than done, but it’s what those in spirit would want. You have to grieve but you have to think to the future as well by making the best energy you possibly can. I advise women to imagine a golden light in their womb, which makes it an energetic place ready for the new soul to come into.
Reading for Olivia
I knew a woman called Olivia whose baby had died only months after it was born with severe cerebral palsy. Olivia kept asking me for a reading but I didn’t think that she was in the correct frame of mind to have one, so I put her off. When people are still in deep mourning they can misinterpret readings and take negative implications from them that aren’t there, so I will try to make them wait till their outlook is more positive. One day, Olivia rang and asked for a reading again, and this time the energy around her felt different, so I agreed. I began the session with information about her work. She was being manipulated by a woman who was fearful for her own position, and this was making for a very toxic working environment. I told Olivia that she should detach herself from this negative relationship. The matter would be resolved whether or not she did anything, but it would be for the best if she distanced herself from it.
I was trying to keep the reading away from Olivia’s baby as I was still unsure whether she was in the right place to discuss it. I also felt very strongly that what she was going through at work was draining her so much that I hoped I could steer her in a direction that would help. However, I began to get a sense of her baby coming through. If it were not for the fact that I trust spirit implicitly, I would not have carried on with the reading. I had to listen to and recognise what I was being sent. It was quite clear that the child – a little girl – had moved on in spirit and was being well cared for by her grandmother, Olivia’s mother, who had passed with cancer in her early fifties. The child told me that Olivia needed to know many things: not just that her mother was caring for her, but that she had always known her time on the Earth plane was to be limited. She wanted Olivia to know that she was grateful to her for allowing this to happen, as it was necessary for her spiritual progression.
I relayed this information with great care, as the most important thing to me is the emotional well-being of the person I am reading for. This is top of my agenda at all times and I was concerned that Olivia might be angry that I was passing on a message which could have been seen as insensitive.
‘I want you to know that I am giving you these words from your child,’ I told her. ‘She sends them with love and she is indebted to you for allowing yourself to be part of her journey. She knows it was hard and she knows that it still hurts, but, without you, she would not have known such love and she would not be able to move on.’
To my surprise, and absolute relief, Olivia understood immediately. This showed what a remarkable woman she was and totally backed up what her daughter had said about her. Olivia smiled and said that it made much more sense now. She said that she had been reading lots of books about how and why spirits come to the Earth plane, and she realised that sometimes it wasn’t for long. Olivia said that if I had told her these things when she had asked for a reading before, she would not have been equipped to deal with it, but now, although she was still grieving, she appreciated what had happened. The fact that her daughter was with her meant a lot and the fact that they had both learned from each other would stay with her forever.
This was such a touching story that it has stayed with me as well. Olivia was a gracious and brave lady, and I feel that her child was spot on when she said it took a remarkable individual to allow the next stage of her journey to occur.
Moving on
Women