Any mother in the audience who had lost a child would want to know whether they were all right in spirit, but I hoped that my words would strike a particular chord with this woman. There were lots of murmurings, as there always are, and then one lady in a row not too far from the front caught my attention. She had lowered her arm but she had never taken her eyes from my face. She was shaking and tears were falling silently down her cheeks.
Despite the fact that I was wearing a microphone, my words were quiet. ‘You know who you are, don’t you? And you know why I’m going to have to say these words. Ben was only eighteen when he was taken from you and it was in a terrible way, wasn’t it?’
Even though I was on stage, I could clearly see the woman shaking. I wished I could go down and hug her, but I also knew that if she stayed with me through this I would be able to bring her comfort that would last forever.
‘He was murdered, wasn’t he? Your beautiful boy was murdered.’
The woman nodded through her tears and the rest of the audience turned towards her. I needed to make sure she knew this wasn’t entertainment, that this was real. I needed to prove it to her.
‘I know that this hurts,’ I said, ‘but if I tell you what I know, what I couldn’t possibly know unless I was being sent it, will that help you to understand that I really do have a message for you?’
The poor woman kept nodding and I could feel her pain. ‘This month, September, is important for you because that’s the anniversary of his death. Am I right?’
Again, she nodded.
‘There were two people involved, I can see that. One of them was less connected than the other, but she did nothing to help, which is why I’m saying two people. I also know that it was to do with money. Your son wasn’t involved in what they were up to, but he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, wasn’t he?’
All through this, the woman wept, but I needed to go on.
‘It was a brutal and unprovoked attack, it was at night, and it was in a dark place. I’m getting somewhere that looks like a very quiet area. Ben was taken by surprise and it was all over in a flash. I know that his killers were caught, but you think they got off lightly. I also know that you know the family of one of them and that you still have to see and be around these people.’
All of this must have been very hard for the poor woman to listen to, but I had to press on and get to what she needed to hear.
‘You’re right,’ she finally said. ‘It’s all true. I don’t know how you know all of that, but you’re right. Thank you.’ She started wiping her tears away.
‘That’s not all!’ I said. ‘What I’ve just told you is just my way of proving that what’s coming next is genuine. Ben is fine, he’s come to terms with what happened and he wants you to reach that place of peace and forgiveness too. He knows that this has been awful for you – not just losing him, not just the trial, but the way in which you’ve had to keep seeing his killer’s family. But he’s being looked after now. That’s what I have to let you know.’
She looked up at me with such hope in her eyes. ‘Has he told you this? Is he telling you this now? Is he here?’
‘No, no, he isn’t here – but the person who is looking after him is.’
‘What do you mean?’ she asked.
‘Hannah,’ I told her. ‘It’s Hannah. I got all of this from Hannah, and she wants you to know that Ben is happy. He’s with her and has been from the moment he passed. She loves him and she’ll always care for him until you are joined together again. You know who I mean by Hannah, don’t you?’
‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘Of course I do. I remember her so clearly. I always wished she’d been here to see Ben, and when he was born I missed her presence so much.’
‘There was no need,’ I told her. ‘She was there. She’s always been there. And now she has Ben to look after. She’s your big sister, isn’t she?’
The woman was in floods of tears again, but I could tell that she wasn’t upset in the same way as she had been earlier.
‘Hannah passed to spirit when she was eight, didn’t she?’ Again, her nods told me I was right. ‘Her job when she was here was to look after you; she was a proper big sister and loved that responsibility. That hasn’t changed. When Ben joined her, she made it her job to look after him. She’s with him all the time and both of them are with you. Ben is safe now – and so is Hannah.’
It was a communication full of love and light. Hannah came across as very playful but also as someone who had welcomed the opportunity to take on responsibility when Ben passed over. I knew that she had died suddenly, from a viral infection, and felt that this was a link she had with the boy. Both of their passings had been unexpected, but she was in a stronger place to help Ben come to terms with his own situation. I could tell she was a delightful child, because I was getting very playful energy from her, but the energy she sent me from Ben was not the same. He was much quieter and more reflective. She channelled the information from both of them to me in order that I could pass it on.
When I work with someone, I always get a feeling of them, a sense. It’s my inner voice. Clairvoyance, clairsentience and clairaudience are all working together, but usually ‘the sight’ is stronger than the others. It’s like a movie running in my head, and I tend to chatter away as if I’m staring into space. I’m watching it all and reporting it back – and I have a library of these files and people in my head. I can access that library, those files, whenever I want. The deeper I can dig into those files, the more bizarre the proof I can uncover. There’s no point asking ‘Do you know a John?’ because everyone does! I need to find specific and particular proof – for example, there was one case where I asked a woman about her sister and could tell her that she was obsessed with monkeys. After hearing the proof, they are ready for the message – and if it comes from someone called ‘John’, so be it!
With Hannah, I kept seeing a smiley face and I heard her saying, ‘I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m fine.’ She wanted me to pass on a message of reassurance, and she was reassuring me as well. Anything to do with children who have passed over is emotional for me. It is upsetting to think of a child who has been in pain or who has experienced suffering. Hannah’s spirit was a beautiful one, and it showed not only in her concern for Ben and her family, but also in that which she showed to me. She had been ill for over a year, and things had got progressively worse. To have a child communicate that information while still saying ‘I’m fine’ was very touching. Hannah’s essence was very strong.
Essence comes over to me a lot. The essence of the person goes beyond their physical form. Your body is just a vehicle to get you through this journey. I always look at it this way. Say you’re going to see family in Australia. You might travel from anywhere in the country to get to London for the first stage of your journey, then you’ll probably take a connecting flight, maybe in Singapore. That’s similar to what your soul will go through. Your journey will be broken up into lots of bits, all leading towards a final destination, all connecting with each other. Each piece of the journey is about what you’re going to learn, what will build your soul and energy and knowledge so that the next time you come to this plane you will know things or be able to pick up something you left off.
Ben’s essence was different from Hannah’s. He was a quiet, introverted boy, who just went about his own business. I could see that he only had one or two friends, and tended to keep himself to himself.
Ben’s mum was surprised to hear that he was with Hannah. ‘But Hannah was dead before my son was even born!’ she said.
It’s true they hadn’t known each other in this world, but in spirit you are part of a connected