‘Finding a more positive way to think about who you are and what you do feeds a positive, creative energy that allows you to grow.’
In doing so I found such a positive relief, and I was able to maintain a more optimistic outlook and surrender to the full experience.
It can be invaluable to embrace every imperfection in your being and in the world around you. We will inevitably all have moments when we worry about what people think, when we criticize our progress, our bodies, our work, or doubt ourselves in any number of ways, but it is so freeing to accept that, firstly, it is OK not to be the finished article yet, and secondly, that imperfection is what makes us unique. Every quirk in our being is what makes us truly ourselves.
This all links back to the way that we talk to ourselves. Finding a more positive way to think about who you are and what you do feeds the positive, creative energy that allows you to grow. It’s not just about shifting away from or trying to change what you don’t like about yourself, but actually choosing to enjoy those imperfections as part of who you are, and accepting that they are a key part of you.
The same thinking can be applied to how situations play out in the world around you. Lots of us like to plan, idealize or predict how things might happen, but in reality our expectations may not be met or perhaps are exceeded. Rather than feeling disappointed, let down or overwhelmed by any outcome, you can choose how to react and make peace with a situation for just being what it is.
Stress Management
We live in a world surrounded by stress. I realized a little while ago that whenever I bumped into someone and we did that quick, ‘Oh hi, how are you? How is work?’, etc. that the answer I gave was always, ‘Busy. Good but busy,’ but what I really meant was ‘I’m feeling pretty stressed!’. And their response was normally the same. I was telling the truth and so were they, but the monotony of it all started to bother me. Being busy is a transient state (even if it feels never-ending at times), but it doesn’t define how we are as human beings.
Putting Off Tasks Just Prolongs Them
One of my worst habits is flagging emails, I will have every intention of replying but so often I read something, become distracted without replying and flag it for later so that my focus shifts away from my ever-expanding inbox. It isn’t productive or helpful; it is just setting myself up for a stressful time trying to clear it later.
This kind of procrastination is so futile. Putting off smaller tasks leaves them hanging over you. Instead of flagging emails or leaving the chores that you don’t want to do until last, getting them done and ticking them off the list is such a simple step that can have a positive impact on the rest of your day. If there is something you really dislike or even dread, perhaps try to get it out of the way so that you no longer have to worry about it. You will immediately feel more accomplished. It sounds easy and, of course, is much more easily said than done – it can certainly take a lot of will-power, but it really is an incredibly positive habit to get into.
Letting Go
People used to tell me that I forgive too easily. I’ve never been able to hold a grudge. I can’t sleep on an unresolved disagreement or leave somewhere without making peace with whoever I’m leaving. I’d never really thought about it much, but I just don’t seem to have any need or desire for that sort of tension or animosity, as I end up riddled with an over-dramatic feeling of guilt. But everyone is wired differently and for some people it is a lot harder to let go of something that has upset or frustrated them.
A middle ground is perhaps a really good place to be. If you can’t forgive, you are holding on to anger, tension and emotions that can become toxic in your body and mind. So you are the one who ultimately suffers. Of course there’s a fine line, and someone who forgives easily runs the risk of being walked all over or losing out by taking the emotional hit from a situation, but as long as you learn to differentiate between the two, it can be so freeing to let go of negative emotions that weigh you down.
I truly believe that holding onto frustration, anger or a need to control ultimately only leaves us being the one who loses out.
Breathing and Pranayama
Breath work is one of the most powerful tools we have. It can be linked to emotion, energy, well-being and our state of mind. In yogic philosophy, the breath (or prana) is seen as the life-force, yet most of us rarely take a moment to consider it.
Breath control, known in yoga as pranayama, can be used to calm the mind and help shift the way you approach your life. It allows you to take the first step towards mindfulness and meditation practices, so it can be particularly useful for those intimidated by traditional meditation techniques.
Breath work alone can have a huge impact on how you feel. I have found it a very powerful tool in times of stress, anxiety or whenever I have felt overwhelmed by life in general. I’ve even read that it can even help to reduce things like stress-induced overeating, by providing an alternative, calming focal point.
There are many different pranayama exercises that you can practise, but the most simple is known as abdominal breathing and it is a great starting point. It’s an exercise that draws your awareness towards the breath. Focusing your attention on each inhalation and exhalation can help to still a busy mind, making this technique great for times of anxiety or just to help you relax at the end of a busy day.
I find it useful as a way to quieten my thoughts, reset my mind and find a more calm and rational approach to whatever challenge I am facing. It can also be used as a gentle energizer if I am feeling sluggish or sleepy. There is no need to have a ‘sacred’ space for this – in fact, it is good to practise non-attachment by trying different spaces for your yoga, meditation and pranayama, so just find a place where you can relax, sit comfortably and avoid distractions. It is generally not recommended to meditate lying down. Meditation allows you to enter a deeply relaxing state similar to sleep, so sitting up helps you to stay conscious.
Sit comfortably on the floor, or if you are in a chair then keep your legs uncrossed. Ensure that your spine is straight and your head is facing forward.
Begin by closing your eyes.
Take a few natural breaths here without trying to change anything at all. Just observe the breath within your body.
Become aware of each inhale and exhale, noticing if the breath is shallow or deep, and perhaps starting to tune in to any tightness or blockages within your body as the air passes in and out.
Closing your mouth, breathing only through your nose, consciously start to deepen each breath – inhale for a count of four, hold for one count, then exhale for a count of four. Hold for one count with empty lungs, then repeat. You can begin to lengthen the counts, perhaps to six or eight, and really try to draw your awareness to the sensation of the breath as it moves in and out of your body. If any thoughts come into your mind, just let them pass through without judgement or deliberation, allowing yourself to come back to the breath.
You can continue this practice for as long as you like, but five to ten minutes is a great length of time to work with.
Meditation
Breath-control