Again I nodded until I felt my head almost dislodge from my neck.
As I was struggling to get up, Mama’s eyes widened, her finger pointing to the bed. ‘Oh heaven, what happened?’ Then she twisted her fat neck to face me. ‘Xiang Xiang, what did you do to yourself?’
It was then that I remembered the blood. ‘I’m bleeding.’ I paused, then uttered weakly, ‘But I didn’t do anything.’
Mama snatched up my hand to examine my wrists. Not able to find any cuts, she reached to touch the stains on the bed, then spun me around and yanked down my trousers.
‘Mama!’ My cheeks burned with humiliation. My hands tried to pull my trousers back up only to be slapped off by Fang Rong’s bear-like paws.
Then, to my utter shock, she burst out laughing while her husband looked down modestly at his nails.
Mama spun me back to face her. ‘Don’t you realise that your great-aunt has just come to visit?’
Neither of my parents had ever mentioned a great-aunt. ‘But I don’t have one,’ I said, pulling up my trousers.
‘Hasn’t your mother ever told you about your great-aunt?’
I shook my head. ‘Where is she now?’
The two exchanged meaningful glances. Then Fang Rong laughed so hard that her fleshy face looked like a fat, melting candle.
Mama stopped to catch her breath, then, ‘Hmmm … your mother must have felt too embarrassed to tell you. But why should she? Since she’d already been fucked by your father to have you.’
‘What is fuck?’ I imitated her tone.
‘Xiang Xiang,’ Wu Qiang stared into my eyes, ‘fuck means when a man puts his—’
Mama cut him off sharply. ‘Wu Qiang, stop being overeager. You can leave that to me.’
Some silence, then Fang Rong spoke again. ‘Xiang Xiang, you’re not a little girl any more.’ She winked. ‘You’ve just turned into a woman.’
I had no idea what she was talking about.
Mama went on, ‘Xiang Xiang, since your so-called mother was too lazy and too proper to explain about affairs of the wind and the moon,’ she tapped her chest, ‘you’re lucky to have a real mama to enlighten you.’
Although I still didn’t understand what she meant, I felt too exhausted to ask, let alone to defend my mother’s ‘laziness.’
Seeing that I was on the verge of collapse, Mama said, her tone turning very tender, ‘My dear daughter, you must be starving, so why don’t we all go to eat?’
My feet were so weak and wobbly that Fang Rong and Wu Qiang had to half carry me back to the pavilion.
Fang Rong asked her maid Little Red to bathe me. While I was being washed, neither of us mentioned anything about the dark room. Eyes closed, I enjoyed the sensation of the hot water sloshing against my bare flesh. I tilted my head to let the steam, like a spring breeze, massage my face. Little Red’s sponge rubbed and swished on my neck, back, and shoulders, synchronising with my contented sighs.
When she finished, Little Red poured out the red-tinted water, then took out a thick, folded cloth.
When she tried to position it between my legs, I yanked away her hands. ‘Little Red, I’m not going to wear this ridiculous thing!’
She chuckled. ‘Xiang Xiang, then would you rather let everybody in the pavilion know that that thing of yours has come?’
‘Why are you people all talking in riddles today? What is that thing of mine, do you mean my great-aunt? But I don’t have one!’
Little Red giggled more.
‘What’s so funny?’
‘Xiang Xiang, every girl has a great-aunt,’ she leaned close to me and lowered her voice even though there were only the two of us in the room, ‘that means her monthly red classic.’
Before I could respond, she went on, ‘When a girl grows up, every month she’ll begin to bleed. But the blood oozing out from her lower hole is not ordinary blood. It’s blood from inside her stomach. If a girl has not been with a man …’ Little Red paused to whisper into my ears, ‘That means fuck – then her eggs will not mix with his seed but flow out from her yin part with the blood. But if the girl has been fucked by a man and gets pregnant, she’ll stop bleeding – until the baby is born. So now your great-aunt has begun her visit, that means you can have a baby.’
Her last sentence sent a tremor across my chest. ‘Oh heaven, does it mean that I’m going to have a baby?’
She answered my question with another one, ‘Xiang Xiang, have you already been fucked?’
I had no chance to respond before she plunged on, ‘If you have, you’ll be in big, big trouble, for I’m sure Mama and De are waiting to sell your virginity for a high price.’
Waiting until she finished, I spat out, ‘What’s fuck?’
Little Red looked surprised. ‘That’s what all the sisters are doing here, and you don’t know? How long have you been here?’
‘A month.’
‘Hmmm, if Mama doesn’t have time to teach you yet, then let me tell you what fuck is.’ Little Red paused, then continued, ‘It means when a man puts that thing of his inside a woman.’
In order not to appear too ignorant, I put up a knowing smile.
She threw me a suspicious glance. ‘Xiang Xiang, are you sure you’re still a virgin?’
‘A virgin?’
‘That means someone who has never been fucked.’ Little Red’s voice rose higher and higher. ‘Xiang Xiang, how come you have no idea about all this? What did your mother teach you at home?’
‘Poetry, literature—’
‘All right, I know you’re well learned in the five classics. But how come she never told you about the monthly red classic?’
I remained silent.
She said, ‘Xiang Xiang, I just told you, “fuck” means when a man puts that thing of his,’ she cast me a mysterious look, ‘I mean his yang instrument – into the woman’s yin hole.’
‘But why would a man want to do that?’
‘Why? Because he enjoys doing it, that’s why! Besides, then he can make her have a baby.’ Another pause before she went on excitedly, ‘Your father also fucked your mother to have you!’
‘Oh no!’ I protested vehemently. ‘My father was a scholar gentleman, he wouldn’t have done such a sickening thing to my mother!’ No matter how hard I tried or how far I stretched my imagination, I just couldn’t picture my refined father putting that thing of his into my elegant mother’s hole.
‘Yes, of course, he did.’ Little Red’s voice jumped high like a frog. ‘If not, then where do you think you came from, picked up from a rubbish bin, or burst from a stone?!’
I was struck speechless both by the bin and the stone.
Little Red plunged on, ‘Xiang Xiang, believe me. Your parents fucked to have you. I bet they must have fucked hard and also tried out all kinds of beneficial positions and enjoyed them tremendously. Otherwise, it’s impossible that you’d be born so beautiful!’
‘What does that have to do with being beautiful?’
‘Because if a couple enjoys fucking, the qi they thrust into each other is unusually good, and that will always generate beautiful babies.’
I