‘But I’m not—’
‘Xiang Xiang, do you think you’re being fed and clothed and given art lessons here for nothing? You think Peach Blossom Pavilion is a charitable organisation? Or a government-sponsored art studio?’ She rapped my head. ‘The earlier you are disillusioned the better, you understand?’ She paused to redo her brow. ‘You know, sometimes it’s not too bad to be a prostitute. Especially if you become famous and meet someone who’s so rich and loves you so much that he’ll redeem you and take you home as his fifth or sixth concubine.’ She turned to pinch my cheek with her spidery fingers. ‘Is that clear, you little whore?’
As I was about to protest, suddenly I remembered my mother’s saying.
Try your best to get along with everyone, otherwise you won’t have a roof to live under nor even thin rice gruel to warm your stomach.
Besides, when the truth is thrown like a clod of dirt on your face, how else can you respond but to swallow it?
So I swallowed hard and squeezed a smile. ‘Yes, Sister Pearl.’
Pearl turned back to gaze at her powdered face in the mirror. Now beautiful and motionless, she looked like a gracefully carved statue of Guan Yin – the Goddess of Mercy – who always listens to cries of help.
I blurted out my long-held question, ‘Sister Pearl, what is fuck?’
‘Xiang Xiang!’ She threw me a chiding look in the mirror. ‘That word is extremely vulgar.’
‘But that’s what Mama and Little Red use.’
‘Yes, I use that, too, but it’s for adults, not a little girl like you.’
‘But Sister Pearl. I’m not a little girl anymore. I’m a woman!’
‘Oh, is that so?’ She raised a brow. ‘That means you have been fucked, haven’t you?’
Her words stung like a bee. I screamed. ‘No, of course not!’
She laughed, revealing a neat row of pearly teeth. ‘All right, you haven’t been fucked, not yet, all right?’ Then she looked at me chidingly. ‘Xiang Xiang, instead of saying fuck, why don’t you say mating of heaven and earth, balancing yin and yang, or stirring up the clouds and rain?’
She cocked an eye at me. ‘But why are you in such a hurry to learn all these, can’t you wait to be a fucking whore?’
This time I kept my mouth shut.
She smiled flirtatiously. ‘Hasn’t Little Red already told you what fuck means?’
Before I could answer, Pearl’s expression turned serious. ‘Anyway, soon Mama will give you books about the secret games. You better study them thoroughly, then if you have questions, come and ask me.’
‘Do you have those books?’
‘I don’t need them anymore,’ she tapped her head, ‘they’re all here.’ After that, she turned back to the mirror and continued to fuss over her make-up until her brows resembled two slender leaves. I understood that this signaled the fucking matter was to be dropped.
After Pearl had laid the finishing touch on her brow, she turned to look me in the eyes. ‘Xiang Xiang, I’m going to entertain in a big party tonight, and,’ she nipped my chin, ‘you’re coming with me, you lucky little witch.’
I was surprised to hear this. I’d never expected that I would be invited out so quickly. ‘Sister Pearl, who invited me?’
Suddenly the warmth in her tone was gone. She narrowed her eyes. ‘A very rich businessman. But don’t think that you’re already so irresistible that he invited you out. He invited me, you understand? You’re just to tag along.’
I nodded. Tears welled in my eyes, but I wouldn’t let them fall.
Seeing me on the verge of crying, Pearl’s tone warmed up again. ‘Ha, Xiang Xiang, you’d better start to learn about your own value. Don’t you know that you’re already quite famous? People have been asking around about you, “Who’s that pretty girl with two enchanting dimples?” One even said, “So pretty, she’ll definitely be a ming ji someday”!’
Ming ji – a prestigious prostitute. What would that be like?
Pearl raised her arm and rubbed perfume onto her armpits. ‘It’s never too early to be noticed, silly girl. Life is short here and no one has a whole eternity to flash her youth.’
She preened in front of the mirror – tilting up her chin, lowering her eyes, wetting her lips, raising her shoulder so that her bathrobe slipped to expose her smooth white flesh, caressing her breast with her red-nailed fingers. Then she started to recite a poem, ‘When a flower blooms, pick it. Don’t wait till there is only the bare branch left.’ After that, she turned to me, her voice sentimental, ‘You understand the poem, Xiang Xiang?’
I nodded, feeling too sad to say anything.
Pearl had finally finished putting on her make-up. Now she walked to the wardrobe and peeled off her bathrobe. I let out a small cry; there was not a single thread on her body!
She cocked an eye at me and chuckled. ‘Never saw a naked body before, huh?’
I shook my head, while eyeing her tilted breasts, her slightly swelling belly, and the luxuriant dark area between her white thighs which looked like the rich ink my painting teacher Mr. Wu dabbed on the rice paper.
My scrutiny didn’t seem to bother Pearl at all. She said, ‘You’d better get used to it, Xiang Xiang. Because, trust me, you’ll be seeing a lot of them very soon. But mind you,’ she sneered, ‘those bodies you’re going to see and learn to please are very different from ours. They belong to the chou nanren’s!’
Stinking males.
A beat passed before we burst into uncontrollable laughter. In that fleeting moment, I thought I liked her very, very much.
Pearl looked particularly attractive tonight. The red silk dress embroidered with a golden phoenix clung to her body as tightly as if the bird were painted on her skin. Her jacket’s high collar wrapped around her neck like petals enveloping a bud – her coveted goose-egg-shaped face. Her long hair was pinned loosely into a bun at the nape of her neck and scented with osmanthus flower oil. She’d decorated her three-thousand-threads-of-trouble with fresh plum blossoms and a gold filigreed butterfly. Her lips, painted crimson and slightly opened in a pout, looked as if they were dying for the sweet dew of some exotic elixir. Two jade earrings – like two green eyes – twinkled enigmatically.
‘Sister Pearl, you’re gorgeous!’ I sniffed the perfume wafting from her.
She pinched my cheek affectionately. ‘Thank you, Xiang Xiang.’ Then her eyes looked sad. ‘Beauty is all we have,’ she sighed, ‘that is, besides charm.’
A long pause before her mood changed again; now she scrutinised me playfully. ‘Xiang Xiang, you’re a very pretty little slut yourself, too. Now get dressed.’
She picked a silk top and trousers from her wardrobe and handed them to me. After I put them on, Pearl said, ‘All right, now let me help you put on make-up.’
When we were finally ready to go out, we stared at our images in the mirror. To my surprise, I looked completely different – at least five years older. The green top and pants with pink plum blossoms, though a little loose, looked very nice on me – as if spring had blossomed all the way from my torso to my limbs. Accentuated by the pink eye shadow and black eyeliner, my eyes gave off a lustrous sparkle that I hadn’t noticed before. The cinnamon pomade on my hair seemed to turn the three-thousand-threads-of-trouble into a mysterious black mirror.
‘Beautiful, aren’t we?’ Pearl purred.
I felt both too shy and too excited to respond.