I made all the preparations I could in case of disaster. Took up the carpets in that part of the house, took down the curtains and moved the furniture, used all the precautions I could to escape with life and limb if possible, and insure the safety of my dear but misguided pardner, and then I sot down in the parlor bedroom, the furthest I could git without goin' upstairs, and let the tide of events sweep by me or sweep me away, and I didn't know which it would be. I had to be downstairs anyway, for (though Philury helped), I had to stand with my hand on the hellum, so to speak, and see to everything. What made it worse, too, it come on the coldest snap we'd had all winter.
Well, one of the main arguments by Jabez and Josiah wuz the speed with which this work wuz to be accomplished. The hull thing wuz to be done and we settin' down fannin' ourselves inside of three days, but for over four weeks our house wuz a perfect pandemonium of noise and confusion.
Iron pipes lay round in every direction, screws and vises, nuts and hammers, wrenches and irons of all shapes and descriptions strewed the house from top to bottom, and ashes, dirt and dust wuz rampant, and Jabez rennin' up and down stairs, to and fro, talkin' loud about what a success he wuz makin' of it and how everything wuz workin' jest as he wanted it to, and boasted in particular every time he come acrost me, ashakin' with the cold, how perfectly still and noiseless it wuz goin' to be, and how luxurious and almost enervatin' would be the warmth. And I sez, rubbin' my cold hands and pullin' my heavy woolen shawl closter round me, "It would be a little different than it is now if it wuz still, or if it wuz warm." And agin I shivered in the frigid air and sez:
"You guaranteed we wouldn't be torn up here over three days, and it wuz four weeks yesterday."
"That is because I have took such extra precautions to have it perfectly noiseless. Never," sez he impressively, "from one year's end to the other will you ever hear a sound from that apparatus, not the least murmur or echo of a sound."
"Well, I hope not," sez I, "and I hope to gracious it will be finished some time, for I'm most freezin' and Josiah is takin' cold, as I can see."
"No I hain't nuther," sez Josiah, his voice soundin' real wheezy and husky out from under his heavy wool comforter.
Sez I, "You be cold, Josiah Allen, your nose is blue this minute."
"Well, what if it is! I always liked that color anyway, I'd ruther have it blue that red as madder," sez he glancin' at my most prominent feature.
Sez I, "It is the bitter cold that has turned our noses, Josiah Allen, and when is it goin' to end?"
"It is going to end to-morrow mornin', at seven A.M. we start the fire, and then," sez he proudly, "I will set down in perfect summer heat, calm and happy, and you, too." For I spoze my oncomplainin' misery appealed to his latent manhood; and it had been latent in him for some time. But he wuz driv most beyend his strength, and the cold wuz almost Klondikey, I could make allowance for him. Well, the next day passed, and the next and the next, and finally, jest four weeks and four days after he had guaranteed to have it finished, Jabez hautily announced, and Josiah proudly proclaimed, a fire could be started. Karen wanted to be with us in the first trial of the heat, so she appeared on the seen, so triumphant and overjoyed it fairly made her worn haggard face look considerable brighter.
Rosy had come to spend the day and stay all night, invited by Karen to witness her son's triumph. But I onbeknown to anybody, feelin' I needed a strong arm and cool brain to depend on, had beset Royal Nelson to come and stand by me that day and night, I didn't say Rosy wuz to be there for fear he wouldn't come, for I could see by his white cheeks and sad, yet cool lookin' eyes, that he'd about gin her up. He said to once that he would come, and his sad eyes kinder laughed as he added, "I will stand by you in your affliction."
Well, Jabez, with his face gay and joyous and his tongue waggin', weighted down with big, boastful words, headed the procession down suller; Josiah and Ury filled up the furnace and built the fire, Jabez seemin'ly willin' they should do the work, he's so lazy. Rosy, Karen and I remained upstairs, Philury and I tryin' to mop and sweep up some of the dirt, and before long I hearn a buggy drive up, and see it wuz Royal Nelson, and in a few minutes he come in lookin' solid and reliable as ever.
Well, the upper tank had been filled, and at the welcome news the fire wuz beginnin' to burn bright we all went upstairs watchin' to see the grateful heat come up, and some of our hands wuz on the pipes every minute, when a low hollow rumblin' wuz hearn down in the suller, growin' louder and louder every minute till it got to be perfectly terrific, and Jabez run down there, his coat tails almost layin' level in his haste, and Josiah most fallin' over him, and Royal follerin' on more tranquil lookin' but excited all through I could see.
Ury stayed by us a spell, but as the deep hollow noise strengthened to a loud roar, accompanied by a strange rushin', gurglin' sound, comin' nearer and nearer, he seized Philury by the arm and rushed her outdoors through the snow, not stoppin' till they got to the barn, then he leggo of her and stood in the barn door to reconnoiter. It wuz a awful and skairful seen. I couldn't blame Ury, but like Sara of old, I felt that I must stay by my stuff, and Rosy and Karen hung to each other, and both hung onto me, all on us tremblin' like three popple leaves.
Finally, jest as the three men come hurryin' back into the room to rescue or die with us I spoze, the boilin' water gin a louder, angrier roar, and riz up out of the tank three feet into the air and poured and steamed and deluged all over the floor. Well wuz it I took up the carpet. But Josiah Allen, to prove he feared no danger, had insisted on leavin' the dressin' gown he worshipped hangin' up in the clothes press where the tank wuz. Alas! alas! as he brung it out drippin' and steamin' from the fiery bath, where wuz the once gay colors? Them tossels and red palm leaves on yeller ground that had so lately been the light of his eyes and desire of his heart? Who could tell which wuz palm leaves and which wuz yeller ground? And as for the red tossels, their glory had departed forever. Josiah groaned aloud as he bore it out leavin' a watery wake of red and yeller all the way to the kitchen, where I follered him and told him, so strong is woman's love in the hour of trouble, "Dear Josiah, I am sorry for you, but I told you jest how it would be."
He dashed it onto the floor and hollered out, "You didn't tell me nothin' about it! you never said the word dressin' gown! and I'd like to know what you're sorry about, it is nothin', only a valve has bust or sunthin'."
"Yes," sez I sadly, "I guess it is a sunthin'." Here he kicked aginst the suller door so hard one of the panels has been shaky to this day, and run down there, Jabez follerin' him, while I seized a dipper and a twelve quart pail and hurried up to the flooded deestrick, which we commenced to bail out like a sinkin' boat, Royal, Karen and Rosy helpin' me, and Ury havin' his first fears squenched by the overflow of water (which he expected he said would blow off the hull ruff and top story of the house), he and Philury laid to and helped.
CHAPTER III.
Well, Jabez said it wuz the sudden change from cold to hot water that had caused the overflow, so we put the biler on the kitchen stove and the caldron kettle in the woodhouse, and het water bilin' hot and filled the empty tank, Josiah groanin' loud as he lugged it up and sayin' when he thought I didn't hear him, "Oh, gracious Heavens! is this two pails a year?"
Then we all gathered in the front chamber agin watchin' events to come, Jabez boastin' louder than ever how like a charm it would work, and Karen opholdin' him. But Josiah looked anxious as I could see. When agin that loud angry roar begun in the suller, and agin Ury ketched Philury round the waist, for she wanted to stand her ground, but he yanked her down stairs and half way acrost the back yard. He loves her dearly and thinks it a man's place to protect his pardner. He didn't go so fur this time, but had almost onbeknown to himself sought safety for his dear Philury in flight.
Agin Jabez and Josiah and Royal rushed down suller. The dretful roar ended in a higher more steaminer volume of water than before, agin we laid to and bailed it out, our ranks bein' reinforced