Katie lifted her head and watched Nathaniel. He was demonstrating a movement to the children and they were watching, enraptured.
He would make a fantastic father.
The thought came out of nowhere and she froze, shocked by her own thoughts.
Oh, no, she wasn’t going to do that, was she? She wasn’t going to start thinking, even for a moment, that their relationship was more than a quick flash of fire.
Feeling a sharp pain, she looked down and realised she’d pierced her finger with the needle.
Katie grabbed a tissue and did a swift reality check.
Children? After his own scarred childhood?
Trying to distract herself, she sewed and produced costumes and made sure she was completely steady before she took a quick break and walked over to Nathaniel. ‘You’re doing well. I had no idea you spoke the language.’
‘Rafael is Brazilian. We hung out together when we were younger.’ He was watching two boys staging a fight scene, occasionally passing comment.
‘Gabriela told me how much money you’ve ploughed into the project. She told me that you’re the reason lots of those children are even alive today. How did you meet her?’
‘Rafael sponsors education programmes—puts computers in schools, that sort of thing. He introduced me to Gabriela.’ As the fight became rather too realistic, Nathaniel stepped forward and intervened. ‘You’re not actually supposed to beat each other. Do it like this—’ He showed them how to make it look convincing without actually causing damage and then turned back to Katie. ‘The whole thing snowballed. Sometimes our projects overlap. Two years ago Rafael sent me a script written by one of the kids he’d helped—it was good. We’ve turned it into a film.’
She was astonished. ‘You found a studio to put up the money?’
‘No.’ His hand shot out and he steadied the boy before he fell and hit the floor. ‘Rafael and I put up the money ourselves. It’s a low-budget film, premiering at one of the film festivals in May. Carnival. Gritty urban thriller. It’s about a boy from a violent family.’ He turned his head, his eyes on Carlos, the boy he’d persuaded to join them. ‘It’s the life story of many of the kids here. Except in Carnival, acting gives the hero a chance at a new life.’
And he couldn’t see the parallels? Acting had helped him escape from a difficult childhood and now he was offering the same escape to other children.
Katie swallowed. ‘Who gave you that chance? Did you go to drama school?’
‘Boarding school. My father couldn’t wait to get rid of us all. I was happier at school than I was at home.’ A frown touched his brows, as if that thought had only just occurred to him. ‘The school had a fantastic drama department. When I was sixteen
I was playing Romeo in a summer production. A Hollywood casting agent happened to be in the audience looking for an English teenager to play the lead in his coming-of-age blockbuster, Summer Semester. I was a complete unknown.’
‘But talented.’
‘I thought I was.’ His smile was loaded with self-mockery. ‘I just wanted to get the hell out of England. It was the ultimate teenage rebellion.’
He’d wanted to escape from the horrors of home.
‘So you were swept off to Hollywood where you wowed everyone. What then?’
‘I married my co-star.’
It felt as though something heavy had dropped on her chest. The noise around her faded and the only sound was her heart pounding in her ears. ‘You … married?’
‘You didn’t know?’
‘Why would I?’
‘Because people generally like to study my life in minute detail and it isn’t a secret. I thought you read celebrity magazines.’
‘I just look at the pictures—to see what people are wearing.’ It didn’t matter, she told herself. It was in the past. It didn’t have an impact on now. But it was just another example of why he was completely wrong for her. Information that she would have considered vital was locked away in the vault with restricted access. ‘I—I didn’t know you were married.’
He glanced at her. ‘Now I see dark clouds in Katie-land. Why should the fact I’ve been married upset you?’
Because she’d stupidly fooled herself that he’d never been this close to a woman before. But he’d cared enough to marry someone. ‘It doesn’t upset me. I’m just a bit … surprised, that’s all.’
‘It was a publicity stunt. We were manipulated by the studio and the media—it was all about the movie.’ There was a cynical edge to his voice. ‘I never told her a thing about myself. In fact, I’ve never told any woman anything about myself, until I met you. You know more about me than anyone. If you’re counting points, you’re winning.’
‘I’m not counting.’ Katie’s heart pounded. Or at least, she didn’t want to be counting. All she knew was that something inside her had changed. That day on the boat when he’d saved the child—that night …
Her heart flipped.
It wasn’t love. Oh, no, no. It couldn’t be love. She wasn’t going to let it be love. Not with this man.
Her stomach churned and she felt slightly sick. How had it happened? Less than two weeks ago she’d been going speed dating with Claire. She’d eaten cereal for every meal. She’d worn brown.
Nathaniel Wolfe had been someone she’d fantasised about from a distance. And now …
She’d never considered herself to be reckless, but suddenly she was in love with a man who lived his life in the spotlight. A complicated man, all hard edges and armour plating.
A man who found it hard to talk about anything, least of all his emotions.
If that wasn’t reckless, she didn’t know what was.
They spent three days working with the kids on the acting project. Three days in which Nathaniel felt himself getting sucked deeper and deeper into the emotional issues he’d always made a point of avoiding. Part of him wanted to walk out and go back to the anonymity of writing big cheques. Instead he found himself talking to Gabriela, discussing ways in which the project could extend the support it offered for children. When a young boy revealed that his father beat him regularly Nathaniel ignored the cold slime that crawled over his skin and listened.
The older ones were harder to connect with. They’d learned to lock it away, as he had.
Any attempt to touch on the subject was met with resistance. ‘So I’ve got secrets.’ The shrug was years older than the boy. ‘Don’t you have secrets?’
Yes, he had secrets. He had secrets he carried with him every day of his life. The past churning inside him, Nathaniel turned his head to look at Katie.
Sensing his gaze, she looked up at him and smiled and the smile cut him like the blade of a razor because he knew there was still so much about him she didn’t know.
What had she said to him? I want to know the real Nathaniel.
She’d barely scratched the surface.
As if to taunt him, he felt the phone in his pocket buzz with another message.
Even without checking, he knew who it was and knowing was enough to shake his mood from light to dark.
Normally when the black clouds descended he chose to do something reckless. A motorbike on a slick road. Free climbing a vertical cliff.