‘Bored? I don’t do things for other people.’ He sank his hands into her hair and kissed her neck. ‘I’m intrinsically selfish.’
‘That’s what you like to think about yourself, but it isn’t true. Nathaniel …’ She gave a low moan as his mouth found a sensitive spot. ‘Don’t. I can’t think when you—oh …’
With a satisfied laugh, he tumbled her down onto the soft rug and it was another hour before either of them thought about moving.
‘I could help with the costumes.’ Katie curled herself around him, trailing her fingers down his body. ‘I have all those ribbons and pieces of fabric I bought in the market yesterday. Who makes their costumes at the moment?’
‘Don’t you ever give up?’ Nathaniel rolled her onto her back and looked at her, his blue eyes blazing in exasperation. ‘I was going to get this meeting over with and then take you sightseeing.’
‘I’d much rather help out at your acting project. Please, Nathaniel. You’ll make their day. Their whole year.’ The thought of what it would mean to the children excited her almost as much as what it could mean to him. She’d seen the compassion behind the tough exterior. She knew how much of himself he kept locked up. Maybe working with children would help unlock that part of himself.
Nathaniel swore fluently and sprang to his feet. His eyes menacing, he threw her a warning glance. ‘Cry once, just once, and we’re leaving. Understood?’
Nathaniel stood outside the building that housed his youth drama project, stomach churning. Any minute now he was going to be on his knees in the gutter, throwing up.
Why had he agreed to this?
Above them a chaotic maze of tin-roofed, wooden and unpainted brick shacks hung precariously from a steep hillside and wide-eyed, curious children watched them as they kicked a football in the dusty street.
The air was hot and sticky but Nathaniel had never felt colder.
He took a step backwards and then felt Katie’s hand close over his.
‘Let’s go inside and meet some of them.’
Nathaniel wanted to pull away. He wanted to go inside about as much as he wanted to shoot himself in the head. He didn’t want to get to know these people. He didn’t want to find himself back there but Katie was pulling him and he couldn’t find a reason to stay outside.
Inside the building a crowd of children of various heights and ages were milling around. The moment Nathaniel walked across the threshold the atmosphere changed. Everybody stopped talking and just stared. He was used to that, of course. It happened everywhere. But this was different. The eyes looking at him were different.
The silence lasted only seconds and then the room erupted into excited squeals and non-stop chatter as a crowd of children of various ages surged towards them.
Erecting the usual barriers between himself and the rest of the world, Nathaniel switched into actor mode and tried to distance himself.
But he wasn’t able to distance himself. Unlike adults, the children didn’t respect boundaries and soon several of the younger ones were climbing all over him, talking simultaneously, touching him to see if he was real.
He saw scuffed shoes and unwashed hair. He saw bruises and eyes that held stories no one wanted to hear. But most of all he saw enthusiasm and excitement. Yes, there was trauma there, but it came a poor second to hope.
The sickness inside him faded. His hands relaxed.
He signed a few autographs before remembering that he never signed autographs.
‘Oi, tudo bem?’ He spoke in Portuguese and Gabriela, a slim dark-haired woman who ran the centre, clapped her hands and commanded silence.
‘We’re overwhelmed that you have chosen to visit us in person.’ There were tears in her eyes and Nathaniel tried to think of a slick, movie-star response but his tongue had tied itself in a knot and his acting cloak failed him, just as it had that night onstage.
‘Show me what you’re doing,’ he said roughly. ‘Maybe I—I can try and help.’ Great. Now he couldn’t even string a sentence together.
At first it felt awkward. Taking him to one side, Gabriela told him a little about each child and they acted scenes for him, proud to show off what they’d been doing. Some of them were wooden; others were better, and one or two had real talent. But it was the one boy who refused to join in who drew his attention. Watchful and tense, he stood close to the door.
‘That kid over there—’ Nathaniel wiped his forearm over his brow. ‘What’s his story?’
‘I don’t know.’ Gabriela handed him water. ‘He comes and watches sometimes. If you try and speak to him, he runs. I suspect he’s just hiding out here. Best to leave him and hope that one day he’ll have the confidence to join in. It happens sometimes. He isn’t the first.’
Nathaniel looked at the boy and felt an immediate flash of recognition. In those eyes he saw defiance, anger, curiosity—and fear.
It was the fear that made Nathaniel stroll towards him.
The boy edged closer to the door and Nathaniel almost stopped walking. What was he doing? He didn’t know anything about counselling kids. He didn’t even know how old this one was. Ten? Older?
The boy turned his head, torn between the lure of the escape route and the lure of the world’s most famous movie star. The movement revealed the livid bruise darkening one side of his jaw. His mouth tightening, Nathaniel kept walking. He didn’t know anything about kids in general, but he knew about damaged kids. Knew he was looking at one.
Anger shot through him but he checked it as the boy glared at him, fists clenched. ‘It’s all right—I’m going. You don’t have to throw me out.’
‘Actually, I was hoping you could help me out ….’ Keeping what he hoped was a non-threatening distance, Nathaniel squatted down so that he was eye level with the boy. ‘You’re exactly right for this part—you ever act?’
The boy’s fists relaxed slightly. ‘I don’t know anything about acting.’
‘Good. It’s easier that way than if you think you already know all there is to know.’ Nathaniel held his gaze. ‘So this is what you do—you forget all about being you, and pretend you’re someone else. That’s it. That’s all there is to it. Easy.’
He was willing to bet the boy dreamed about being someone else almost every day of his life….
When a sheen of tears glazed the boy’s eyes, Nathaniel didn’t know which of them was more alarmed.
Out of his depth, he was about to call time and summon reinforcements in the form of Gabriela and Katie, when the boy grabbed his arm.
‘I’ve seen your movies.’
Nathaniel felt a pressure behind his chest. ‘Right. Good.’
‘I—You’ve got plenty of actors here.’ His voice was rough. Desperate. ‘You don’t need me.’
‘Well, that shows how little you know.’ Nathaniel saw the bruises on the boy’s arms and the anger was a hard knot in his stomach. ‘I need you really badly. So get your skinny butt on that stage and let’s get to work.’
‘No one has been able to persuade the boy to speak.’ Gabriela was huddled with Katie, sewing costumes out of scraps of material. ‘But now he’s having an acting lesson with Nathaniel Wolfe. Katie, I just saw him laugh.’
‘Don’t. You’ll set me off.’ Katie blinked rapidly. ‘I can’t sew and cry.’
But Nathaniel’s