He bowed his head. “I’m not sure.”
“I don’t know if I can agree if it’s going to be the three of us all the time. It’s a bit intimate given our history.”
He blew out a breath. “I understand. Really, I do. I’m thinking about Ruby. I know you’d be good for her, and frankly, I’d prefer she spend time alone with you. But she’s going through a lot. What do you think, Pastor?”
He’d prefer not to be around her, either? Why the words hurt, she didn’t know. It’s not as if the past ten years hadn’t proven the fact.
“I think you should follow your instincts, Nash.” The pastor addressed Amy. “Ruby is afraid of strangers. It will take time for her to get used to you. She might need Nash with her until she’s comfortable.”
Amy swallowed the sour taste in her mouth. It wasn’t as if she didn’t know the pastor had a point, but she was already going out on a limb by agreeing to this. Couldn’t they cut her a break?
“I guess we could do a trial run,” she said. “Say, a few afternoons next week and see how it goes? If we aren’t feeling it, we’ll go our separate ways.”
“Works for me,” Nash said gruffly.
Pastor Moore stood. “I’m here if either of you need to talk or have additional concerns. Feel free to call. Why don’t I let you two work out the details of next week?” He left the room, and the air felt charged as soon as he was gone.
With no idea what to say, she fixed her gaze on the map of ancient Israel hanging on the wall. Nash remained silent, as well.
“How weird is this for you?” Amy finally asked him.
“Really weird.” His throat worked.
“Gives me a new appreciation for what divorced parents must go through. Coming up with a visitation schedule, figuring out drop-offs and all that.”
“Except we were never divorced,” he said. “Or married.”
The words hurt, she couldn’t deny it, but Nash seemed unsure of himself, and Amy had never seen this side of him. He’d always been quick with a joke and oh, so confident.
He massaged the back of his neck. “Sorry... Thank you for agreeing to help Ruby. I know you don’t want details, but what I did back then was unforgivable. I at least want you to know I hated leaving you.”
Then why did you?
She didn’t want to know.
“It was a long time ago.” She waved the apology off like a pesky fly. “Which days work best for you?”
Storm clouds brewed in his eyes, but he accepted the change in subject. “Any you have free. I have nothing going on.”
“So you really retired?”
“I did.”
She wanted to ask what he planned to do next, but she stopped herself. She didn’t need personal information from him. She’d stick to business—to Ruby. Which reminded her...a few things had been niggling in her mind.
“Does Ruby know you aren’t her father?”
“Yes. I explained I’m her much bigger brother. It took several supervised visits at her foster home before she’d even speak to me.”
“But she calls you Daddy.”
He shrugged, a smile briefly lighting his face. “When I told her she was going to live with me, I asked her what she wanted to call me. She said, ‘How long am I going to live with you?’ I told her forever. She replied, ‘Daddy.’ I tell you, my heart melted into a puddle right there on the linoleum floor of the courthouse.”
Amy’s heart was growing squishy, too, and that wouldn’t do. Remember the days after he left? How you sat by the phone hoping he’d call? And don’t forget how awful it was to read about him winning the event in Houston. Going on with his life as if you’d never meant a thing to him.
“Yes, well, that’s good.” She reached into her purse for her planner. Opening it, she scanned the next week’s schedule. “Why don’t we do Tuesday and Thursday, say, three o’clock? You can bring her to my apartment. It’s above Amy’s Quilt Shop. Just go around the back and up the stairs. I have a studio I think she’ll enjoy.”
All the brightly colored fabrics, the work tables, sewing machines and art supplies were sure to please the girl. She’d plan a few simple crafts for them to do.
“You don’t have to work at three?” He frowned.
“No, I hired a high school girl to work afternoons.”
“Tuesday and Thursday then. Listen, Ruby is shy around...well, everyone. She might have a hard time being in a strange place without me.”
“You could go to The Beanery after you drop her off. If she gets upset, we’ll join you and get a hot cocoa or something.”
“That might work.” His face cleared, and his shoulders relaxed. “Does this mean you’ll make a final decision next week?”
“Do you really want me to spend time with Ruby? Or do you feel cornered into it?”
“I want Ruby to trust other people. I mean, she’ll be going to school soon, and I don’t want her scared of her teachers. Would it be easier on me if someone else was her mentor? Yeah. But I’m grateful you’re willing to try. She needs more than I alone can give her.”
So having a different mentor would be easier on him, huh? She bit back a nasty retort. The insecurity in his eyes pacified her irritation. Her decision wasn’t about Nash anyway. It was about trusting God even when the circumstances didn’t make sense. She’d always wondered if she would step up and take care of an enemy if put into the position of being a Good Samaritan.
She’d regret it if she didn’t at least try to help Ruby.
“Then, yes, let’s see how the visits go, and I’ll give you a firm answer next week.”
* * *
“Wade’s delivering my horses soon.” Nash sat in a white rocking chair on his front porch Tuesday afternoon. Clint Romine, one of his best friends, sat next to him in an identical chair. Ruby was picking pasqueflowers from the yard. He still had a little time before he had to take her to Amy’s place. He had no idea how their meeting would go, but he feared the worst. Those early visits with her at the foster home had been terrible. But maybe Ruby was in a better mental place now. He hoped so.
“How long has it been since you’ve ridden Crank?”
“Four months. I’m itching to saddle up. Could ride for days, I think, and I’d still feel as restless as a mountain lion.”
“You’ve been traveling the circuit since we graduated high school. Of course you’re restless.” Clint lived outside of Sweet Dreams with his pretty new bride, Lexi, who happened to be Amy’s best friend. Another complication Nash didn’t know how to handle. Would his move back to Sweet Dreams be awkward for Clint and Lexi, given how he’d treated Amy years ago? He’d worry about it another day.
Nash sighed. “I’ve got to figure out what I’m going to do now that I’m here.”
Clint stared ahead, slowly rocking. How could he sit there so calmly? Nash was about to bust out of his rocker. He didn’t care if the decorator claimed the chairs cozied up the porch; they made him feel like a grandpa. A sprint up the drive would go a long way to helping him let off some steam. But the sad truth was he couldn’t sprint if he tried. His body had been so beaten up and battered that he had trouble even jogging.
“Thinking about ranching?” Clint asked.
“No.”
“Breeding horses? Wade could help with that.”