“Good. Sounds like you don’t need me.”
“I wouldn’t be here if Ruby didn’t need someone. The therapist wants her to have a positive female influence. A consistent presence—someone who can give her a better understanding of how a caring woman acts. Basically, the opposite of our mother. It’s too much to ask of you, though. Like I said, I never in a million years would have dreamed...”
“What? That I would want to help a child?”
That you wouldn’t have a houseful of kids of your own. And he knew she didn’t. Clint had told him she was single. He had no clue why. She was the most nurturing person he knew.
“Clint told me you keep busy with your quilts and the store. I didn’t think you’d be willing to give up so much time for a stranger’s kid.”
“Yes, well, I like children, and I want to make a difference. I just think the situation is too bizarre for me to be Ruby’s mentor. It would be uncomfortable for us both.”
Exactly. This had been an extremely uncomfortable ten minutes.
“I agree. Hopefully, the pastor has someone else who can help. I’m not looking for a babysitter—I retired from bull riding and I’ll be spending all my time with Ruby until she starts school next year—but given the circumstances...well...she needs more than me.”
Amy wrapped her arms around her waist and didn’t reply.
The problems he’d faced over the past four months galloped back. Learning his mother was dead. Retiring from the profession he’d loved. Figuring out how to live in one spot when all he’d done was travel for a decade. Raising Ruby, who was emotionally stunted, when he had no idea how to be a parent. And this meeting—he’d been so hopeful the woman would be exactly what Ruby needed. From what the pastor said, no one else was available. A clawing feeling gripped his throat.
He wasn’t equipped for any of this. And he really hated failing.
“I hope you were able to catch up.” The pastor walked back in, a big smile on his face. “Amy, now that you are more aware of what Ruby has been through, do you have any questions? Concerns?”
“Yes.”
The hair on the back of Nash’s neck bristled.
“As Nash mentioned, we knew each other a long time ago. In fact, we dated. Given this information, don’t you think someone else should be paired with Ruby?”
“Well, it depends.” He cupped his chin, rubbing his jaw. “I’m assuming it wasn’t an amicable parting.”
Amy quickly shook her head. Nash looked away.
“If you both can put your personal feelings aside and keep Ruby the main priority, then I don’t think there’s a problem. But if there is any revenge in either of your hearts, I urge you to decline. You won’t be able to support Ruby the way that she needs. We must all work together for her. She’s been through enough. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“Yes,” they replied at the same time.
“Since you dated some years ago, I’m guessing you’ve both moved on, so I don’t think it will be an issue. And it’s up to you two how much interaction you want to have. Amy, why don’t you meet Ruby before making any decisions?” The pastor tilted his head, watching her response. She considered for a moment before nodding. He smiled. “Good. I’ll take you down there. Nash, you wait here, and we can talk more when I get back.”
Nash tracked Amy’s moves as she left the room. An ache spread across his chest. She would never agree to help Ruby.
Lord, I can’t do this alone. Please have mercy on me.
He’d given Ruby a nice house, clothes, food and love, but he couldn’t give her a mother. The only woman he’d ever wanted was Amy, and he’d never forgive himself for leaving her in such a cowardly fashion. He hadn’t given her a warning, hadn’t even said goodbye.
Moving back to Sweet Dreams and glimpsing Amy occasionally would have been punishment enough, but being in regular contact with her?
He couldn’t imagine a more painful scenario.
She’d been his. And he’d forfeited all claims to her.
He should be glad Amy wouldn’t agree to this arrangement. Would make life easier for him. But where did that leave Ruby? He could not let his baby sister—the child he now considered his daughter—to grow up as damaged as him.
* * *
“You must be Ruby.” Amy crouched in front of the play kitchen where the tiny blonde stood. The girl flinched, backing up to the wall. Amy ached to put her at ease. “I’m Amy.”
Ruby’s mouth slackened, her blue-green eyes opening wide with distrust. Nash’s eyes. She resembled him in other ways, too. Wide forehead, high cheekbones. But Nash’s nose was longer, while Ruby’s was a perfect button.
Hannah and little Daniel were coloring pictures at one of the children’s tables. Amy wasn’t sure what to do. The girl’s body language shouted fear.
“Would you like me to read you a book?” Amy gestured to the beanbags next to a small bookshelf.
Ruby didn’t blink, didn’t move. Her lips trembled.
“It’s okay.” She longed to touch her cheek, to reassure her, but she sensed any physical contact would terrify the girl. “Why don’t I pick one out, and you can come over if you’d like?”
She crossed to the shelf and selected a Curious George picture book. Then she lowered her body into one of the beanbags. How she would get out of it, she had no idea. Boy, it was low to the ground. Ruby hadn’t moved but still stared intently at her. Amy plastered on a big smile and waved for her to come over.
Ruby didn’t so much as twitch.
Maybe if she started reading it, the girl would join her. She read the first five pages out loud and peeked over the cover. Still staring. She read five more pages. Ruby had drifted a few feet in her direction. Progress. She continued until the end. Ruby stood about three feet away, her eyes locked on Amy’s face.
“You know, pretty soon you’ll be able to go to school, and you’ll learn how to read.”
“I know some letters.” She spoke with a lisp.
Amy nodded, encouraging the sign of interest. What this child must have been through. Left unsupervised with no food or heat. Disgraceful.
“Do you see any letters you recognize on the cover?” Amy held the book out.
“E. O.” She pointed to the letters.
“Good job! You’re very smart. Do you want me to read another book?”
She didn’t respond.
“Why don’t I pick one out?”
Pastor Moore and Nash came into the room. Ruby raced to Nash, wrapping her arms around his legs as if she never wanted to let him go. The sight made Amy’s stomach clench. Ruby trusted Nash. It was obvious. And if Amy had to guess, the child didn’t trust another living soul.
“Hey, RuRu, how do you like this fun place? We’ll be coming to church here every Sunday.” He hoisted her into his arms, settling her on his hip. She let her head fall onto his shoulder and wound her arms around his neck. “Us grown-ups have to talk a few more minutes, so you stay here and color with Daniel, okay?”
She buried her face in his shoulder.
“Honey, I will only be gone a few minutes.” His voice was soft, tender. He glanced at Pastor Moore, then Amy. “Would you give us a sec?”