How did he do that? Simply look at her and make her world shift? He probably meant absolutely nothing by it.
Jess took the hat completely off. ‘Stopping is good. For what the children might want.’
Jess needed to stop fixating over Dan, and how good he looked in a navy polo shirt that set off the tan of his arms and khaki knee-length cut-offs that accentuated his thigh muscles.
‘We’ll have to be careful with sun block and staying off the beach during the worst hours of the day.’ The words were primmer even than Mary Poppins could have been.
Jess didn’t have a beach umbrella, but Dan had three tossed into the back of the van.
The younger children started chattering, asking their father questions and firing a few at Jess as well. Jess answered, and she drew a deep breath, which didn’t help because Dan was wearing a really nice aftershave lotion.
‘Jess?’
From the tone of Dan’s voice, Jess suspected he might have asked her something already—and she’d been too busy daydreaming about sniffing his neck to hear it.
‘I’m sorry, Dan. What did you say?’ Jess glanced through the windshield and realised they’d come to a stop outside the town’s supermarket. ‘Oh. Shall I go in for the things? Do you have a list? Or did you want me to mind the children, or is everyone going?’
‘We’re all going,’ Rob chimed in and then there were Frazier children bailing out of the van at the speed of light. ‘We do this every trip. It’s fun.’
Dan got Ella out of her seat and held her and they all trooped into the supermarket. The children proceeded to select one family-sized bag of crisps or sweets each, but first fell into discussion over what things they weren’t having because didn’t Mary remember getting sick eating those last year? And it wasn’t a good idea for Rob to eat ones with yellow food dye because he got even more hyper than usual.
And then Luke seemed to realise that he was acting like a child, and took his bag of crisps, went to the checkout by himself, bought them and left the store.
Jess chewed her lip. ‘Should I go after him, Dan?’
‘Let him go.’ Dan watched his son leave the store. ‘He needs his space sometimes.’
Jess realised she had grown accustomed in this short time to the sense of family she received while caring for Dan’s children. She didn’t know how she’d been given the gift of becoming part of this, even if it was only for a few weeks or so.
She didn’t want to lose her cottage and maybe have to leave Randurra to find different work, and not see Dan or his family again. There. She’d admitted both fears and what good had it done her? Jess was doing what she could about the cottage. And she didn’t want these confused reactions and thoughts about Dan and her sense of family. Jess didn’t have a sense of family except Ella, and that was everything to her.
‘What would you like, Jess?’ Dan gestured to the shelves. ‘It’s a family tradition to buy junk food for our road trips. Maybe not the best or healthiest tradition, but it’s a treat, so choose something for you, and for Ella if there’s something she can have.’
For a change from his usual savoury fare, Dan had a big tin of chewy-centred fruit-flavoured candies in his hand. Jess got mini ice-cream cones filled with marsh-mallow and topped with sprinkles for her baby daughter. ‘Ella can go for an hour making a mess with one of those. Can I share your tin of candies, Dan?’
‘Of course we can share.’ He still had Ella in his arms, and his voice was deep. He looked tired and ruffled and as though he still hadn’t had enough sleep.
Dan looked that way too often. Jess had been working hard to help him, but he was an automaton about getting through his work and everything going on with that firm in Sydney, about his children and stuff around the home as well. Jess suspected he’d been nothing but an automaton for a while now.
‘I’ll help you with them a lot, Dan. I’ll make sure you get as much chance to rest over the next two days as is humanly possible.’
‘You’re generous, Jess. I—’
‘Come on, Dad.’ Rob bounced up and down on the balls of his feet. ‘We’re ready.’
‘Jess, what sort of bathers do you have?’ Mary came out of her shell to ask this, and to volunteer, ‘Mine have pink, yellow and blue spots on them and they’re really pretty. Annapolly has my old pair that I grew out of but she doesn’t mind.’
‘Um, well, I have a bikini.’ Jess glanced at the several interested heads that had turned their way as this question was asked. Local women, doing their grocery shopping in the store, and already looking at Jess and Dan.
Jess didn’t want to look at Dan, or to remember buying the bikini as her treat to herself after she got her figure back from having Ella. At the time, when she saw it on the sale rack and in her post-baby induced state, it had seemed like a good idea.
And then Jess had worn it carefully at home, in the secluded part of the backyard when she had Ella in the baby wader pool she’d also bought very cheaply. She had never let anyone else see her in it.
Well, it wasn’t her fault if her curvy bits were a bit curvier these days than they had been. She coughed. ‘I, um, I don’t go swimming much.’
‘What’s it look like? What colour is it?’ Mary asked the questions so innocently and she waited very earnestly for Jess to explain.
‘Well, it’s bright yellow with, um, with bumblebees on it. There are two parts to it and I usually wear a sarong over it. Do you know what a sarong is?’ Jess wasn’t about to miss the chance to interact with Dan’s shyest child, but she would far rather describe a sarong than her bathers in any more detail.
She told herself Dan wasn’t there with his ears on fire, and her bathers weren’t that exciting.
She didn’t mean that kind of exciting in any case.
Oh, Jess didn’t know what the heck she meant and she’d been fine until it seemed as though the entire supermarket waited with bated breath for her answers about her swimming attire. Jess quickly explained about the sarong.
‘Let’s get these things bought so we can get back in the van.’ She herded everyone to the checkout area. ‘The sooner we get moving, the sooner we’ll arrive at the beach.’
‘Mary didn’t mean any harm with her questions.’ Dan spoke the words quietly into her ear as his children surged ahead to swarm into the van with their now purchased, and therefore consumable, goodies. A grin teased up one side of his mouth. ‘And I’m sure you’ll look lovely in yellow and bumblebees.’
He was in holiday mode. Dan’s teasing was nothing but that, Jess assured herself. She tried very hard to believe it because she shouldn’t hope for anything else.
She didn’t hope for anything else. Did she?
‘I know Mary was only curious.’ Despite herself, Jess wondered if Dan had just flirted with her? Or simply teased her? Jess’s gaze made its way inexorably to his face and discovered…he had done both! Well, that wasn’t supposed to make Jess’s heart feel all warm and mushy right along with a kick into overdrive of her pulse rate, but Dan was really attracted to her? Truly?
And why would that make you happy, Jess? It’s bad enough that you’ve been noticing him. Do you really want to start thinking along those lines when you know how much your trust got shattered the last time you let yourself care for a man?
There were a dozen reasons why it would be smarter if Jess didn’t care for this man!
Dan started the trip with some rock music. His children groaned but he ignored them. He had to have an occasional vice.
When he turned the music down twenty minutes