She blinked, and blinked again and something in her face seemed to tighten before she threw back her shoulders and stuck out her chin. ‘I’m okay, Dan. Of course I am.’
But Jess wasn’t, not entirely. So what wasn’t she telling him?
Dan pondered that question again the next day as he dug out the box of family photos and started to put some on the walls. The urn with Rebecca’s ashes was still in its box.
The pictures felt somehow different. It must be the new house. And if Jess said she was fine, then he had to believe her. Didn’t he?
Dan buried himself in his work. Over the following days he was able to scale down the amount of time he was spending in Sydney, but the hours were still long. When he felt tired he ate packets of crisps. He barely even thought about Jess being around all the time, or listened for her voice while he was working, or enjoyed checking in with her when he stepped out of his den to see how the children were getting along.
Right, Dan. That’s exactly how it is.
Well, at least he seemed to have convinced Luke that he was only interested in how Jess cared for his family, and Jess seemed to be making progress whittling down the boy’s defences.
Days went past with Jess feeling way too conscious of Dan. Why did it have to be like this when he had told her how much he’d loved his wife? Surely she had nothing left inside her when it came to trusting a man, and it was clear she could never compete with Dan’s Rebecca, even if she wanted to.
‘I think I’m confused.’ Jess muttered the words at a pile of clothing as she shoved it into the machine in the laundry room.
Maybe she needed to believe that not every man was selfish and uncaring like Peter, Ella’s father. Maybe that was all.
Oh, yes? And that fact alone made her pulse race every time she thought of Dan, or looked at him?
‘Jess, I wanted to ask if you’d like—’
‘Oh. Dan. I didn’t realise you were there.’
He had his glasses on his nose, so he must have been working on the computer in his den. And he was so close. Jess could reach out and trace the grooves beside his mouth with her fingertips, or caress his ruffled dark hair.
And Dan could be totally resistant to all of the above, because she was his employee and not in his age bracket and he had been resistant to being aware of her, right from the start.
‘Oh. Um…’ Think, Jessica. About something other than how delectable he looks. ‘What—what did you want to ask me, Dan?’ Even saying his name sent a thrill through her.
They were in a house full of children. Anything else aside, no thrills were allowed!
Dan’s gaze shifted over her face, the bright pink bandanna tied through her hair, down over the loose cream cheesecloth blouse and darker pink skirt and back up to linger on her lips before it finally came back to meet her eyes.
‘We, ah, I’ve got a two-day gap where there won’t be much happening with the situation in Sydney. I want to take the family to the beach.’
Right. Dan wanted to go away to the beach with the children. Jess would lose two days of being around him.
You’ll lose two days’ work. Remember you still haven’t managed to get Lang Fielder to agree in writing to any extra time to make the repayments.
Jess had managed to see the man. He’d said she should go on making what payments she could out of her wages with that negotiation in mind. It wasn’t enough of a reassurance.
Well, Jess didn’t want Dan to see her fear. She had learned from being scammed and written out of his life by Peter Rosche that she had to stand by herself. For her sake and for Ella’s sake, too. Jess needed to remember that. ‘That sounds like a lot of fun. I’m sure they’ll all enjoy it. When were you planning to go?’
‘Tomorrow.’ Dan said the word in a low, deep tone.
‘Tomorrow.’ Jess repeated the word on a breath before she remembered she needed to comprehend it, not merely say it. ‘Right, well—’
‘Would you be available to come with us? You and Ella? I’ve picked days when you don’t have to mind other children.’ Dan backed out of the room as though he’d belatedly realised they were hovering in there, close, quiet, together.
Just as Jess had realised it.
He went on. ‘You don’t have to, but it’d make it easier for me. Two sets of adult eyes to watch them around the water.’
‘For the children’s sakes.’ That was easy. And Jess could let herself be relieved about the pay as well. ‘It’s always better to have two adults with that many children and water involved.’
Jess had never taken Ella to the beach. But with Dan, she could go.
And spend two days of sun, surf and sand with a gorgeous man.
Oh, for heaven’s sake. She’d just gone over this and they would be surrounded by children. There would be sand in shoes and hair and clothing, but there would certainly not be romance in the air.
‘I’ll be happy to make the trip with you, Dan.’ Jess stuck her chin out. Way out. So far out that even she couldn’t miss the fact that this was a statement about her work for Dan, not about wanting to laze on a beach with him.
Dan pushed his glasses up his nose, seemed to realise they were there, and whipped them off. ‘I’m glad. I’ll feel better about it.’
‘I will too, Dan.’ Maybe the couple of days away would help Jess think her way forward with the situation regarding her home.
If not, then she needed to start knocking on the other half of Randurra’s doors, and hope that a great deal of lucrative work came to light as a result. Work she could do around her current two jobs.
And really, who needed sleep or rest, anyway, provided she could make sure Ella was happy, and keep getting more money to pay off the debt? As Dan preceded her, Jess made her way out of the laundry room. ‘I’d better speak to everyone about packing for the trip.’
CHAPTER SIX
‘EVERYONE READY FOR this trip to the beach?’ Jess had supervised visits to the bathroom for the younger ones, and waited while various Fraziers ran around needing this item and that item that they simply couldn’t leave behind for their trip.
She’d packed for herself and packed for Ella and checked what had been packed for the children.
Rob had wanted to bring half the house for playing with on the beach. He’d settled on two soccer balls, and a whole tube of tennis balls.
The girls wanted to collect seashells, so buckets for them.
And Jess had packed the spades because once they got there she assumed at least one of them would want to make a sandcastle.
Just as well it was a big van. Jess strapped Ella into her travel seat and waited while Fraziers piled in all around her daughter. Watched bouncy bodies and an abundance of energy until she saw for herself that everyone had seat belts fastened. Luke was the only sober one, and that didn’t surprise Jess. She was doing what she could to befriend the boy, but he still treated her with suspicion and distrust half the time.
Then Luke dug Rob in the ribs with his elbow and challenged him to a race along the beach once they got there, Rob laughed and agreed and both boys smiled, and Jess really relaxed for the first time in ages.
Ella was kicking her legs and wiggling. Jess climbed in the front beside Dan, glanced at him and a big, silly grin spread across her face. She pushed her floppy hat off her head and let it dangle by its strings down her back. ‘We’re going to the beach.’
‘Right