‘Oh, clever work, Daisy.’ Jess, who’d been tidying paper plates and plastic cups off the long trestle table, spoke softly beneath her breath so only Dan heard. ‘Care for your sisters and negotiation for a later bedtime, all rolled into one.’
She turned quickly aside, but not before Dan saw the smile that crept to her face.
Dan cleared his throat. ‘We’ll discuss that later, Daisy.’
Daisy went off to read, and Mary and Annapolly played with leftover wrapping paper and pieces of ribbon. Jess warned them not to stick anything into their noses but Annapolly had learned that lesson.
Ella was still in her walker and Jess and Dan started in again on the mess.
Dan said abruptly, ‘Daisy’s eleven now, and I let Rob have an extra hour at that age.’
‘Yes, of course. You know what you’re doing, Dan.’
Jess pursed her lips and nodded soberly, while her eyes danced and the big wooden hoop earrings danced and that damned necklace sat between her breasts and kept drawing Dan’s gaze.
‘Thanks for finding some girls her own age to come to her party.’ Dan all but growled the words, but he meant them, just the same.
‘I knew one of them already and she was more than happy to bring two of her friends.’ Jess’s face softened. ‘I’m glad they seemed to get along with Daisy.’
Dan shoved his hands in his pockets and glanced about the big yard at the party remnants. Even the tree cubby house was decorated in streamers. Jess had asked him to purchase them and then let the kids loose to make things festive.
‘If you need to work, Dan, I can keep going here.’ Jess glanced at the three little girls as she spoke. ‘They’re all content for the moment.’
She followed Dan’s gaze to the tree house. ‘This sure is a great home for children. I’d like to explore the rest of the property one day, though I guess they’d all need to be in the right mood.’
Dan could be in the right mood. In fact, Dan was in too much of a right mood at the moment. ‘I’ll help you clean up.’ He couldn’t just leave her with all of it, Dan justified.
They worked together to clear away the aftermath of the birthday party. Jess disappeared periodically to check on one or other of the children. She was being very vigilant in that respect and Dan suspected she still felt guilty over Annapolly’s episode with the tissue paper.
Dan took out the trash and glanced up from the task and there was Jess on the veranda, lifting her daughter into her arms while she said something to Luke who’d been about to ride past her on his bicycle.
Dan’s eldest gave Jess a sullen look and then cast one in his father’s direction as well, and rode away. Luke needed to mend that attitude because Dan didn’t want Jess leaving thanks to the boy being unreasonable.
I want to keep her working here so she’s always around.
The thought pushed into Dan’s mind, pushed past four years of defences and a lot of buried grief and just lobbed into his brain. Not his heart, though. This tightness that he had so often in his chest, that wasn’t about Jess. That had started long before Dan met her. If there were other responses inside his chest right now that did relate to Jess, well, they were because she was working out so well for the kids.
‘I just put Ella down for a nap. I think all the excitement today wore her out.’
Jess had joined him in the kitchen. He hadn’t even realised he’d gone inside and had been standing there, staring into space. Thinking about the past and thinking about Jess.
‘I don’t know about your life. Except that you’re raising your baby on your own, and you’re proving to be good for my children.’
‘I’m enjoying caring for them.’ Jess bit her lip. ‘Trying not to crowd them, but to keep a close enough eye on all of them at the same time. Trying to win Luke’s trust. He’s still angry over what happened to Annapolly, and…well, I’m not sure what else is bothering him. I think the birthday party came off well, anyway.’
‘It did, and Luke is just going to have to settle down.’ Dan didn’t want to think about the reasons for Luke’s attitude. If Luke thought he had the right to decide Dan couldn’t have a social life, he was wrong about that.
It wasn’t the issue, here, but…
Dan pushed the thoughts away. ‘Jess, will you tell me about your family? Where you grew up and what brought you here to Randurra?’ Maybe if he understood Jess better, that would help him to guide Luke as well.
Or simply make it more difficult for you to keep your interest in her on a professional footing.
For a moment she was silent and then she drew a big breath and turned to search his eyes. ‘I grew up in Wollongong, so not too far from Sydney, really. My parents died when I was small. I don’t remember them. An older aunt raised me and she passed away during my last year of high school. I worked in a few casual jobs after high school until I decided to become a certified daycare mum.’
She hesitated before she went on. ‘While I was expecting Ella, I came here to Randurra.’
A fierce expression came over her face. ‘I’m going to make sure my daughter has security and love for as long as she needs it in life. That she’s always got me and doesn’t feel abandoned.’
As Jess had felt alone because of her loss of family?
Dan had been telling himself they had nothing in common but there was this…
Had she chosen to be a daycare mum as a means of trying to fill that lack of family in her life? ‘Your vocation—’
‘Is something that I truly enjoy. I adore children, and I know there are plenty of parents who want to work while their children are small, or need to. That’s a personal choice. It’s just, for myself, I’d prefer to keep Ella close by.’
Jess turned the conversation to Dan. ‘What about you? You came here from Sydney, but what about your life before that? Do you have other family?’
‘There’s my sister and brother-in-law. Dad passed away ten years ago and Mum retired to Queensland. I see her about once a year.’
Jess nodded. ‘And the children’s mother…’
‘Her name was Rebecca.’ Dan drew a breath. It wasn’t as though it was difficult to talk about her. He’d done so with the kids so many times.
Yet his chest still hurt, unexpectedly so when he looked into Jess’s soft, understanding eyes. ‘I loved her from when we were teenagers. We were together for eighteen years. She…got cancer while she was pregnant with Annapolly and the specialist team believed there’d be time to treat it but I lost her a month after the birth. That was four years ago.’
The moment Dan said it, he wondered if he should regret it. He didn’t bare his soul to others, and the loss of Rebecca was something that was in his past now. He’d grieved and got on with his life, so why did it hurt so much to admit what Dan had known from the start? That Rebecca had been his chance at love and he. hadn’t had enough time with her?
Jess didn’t recoil. Instead, understanding and something that wasn’t envy but perhaps longing flashed across her face before she quickly dropped her gaze. When she looked up again, her expression was guarded. ‘I’m sorry for your loss, Dan. Thank you for telling me how she died. I don’t think I mentioned that I took the children back to the hospital. We just dropped off a small gift to the children’s ward. I think that was a good balancing experience for all of them.’
‘Daisy told me about it.’ Dan acknowledged her words with a dip