“Reverend, you must stay here and protect us,” said Liu.
“That is needless talk because I will not go away.”
The farmer told his servants to bring more wine, but to be careful not to make the guest drunk.
“If I drink only a little wine, I can do only a small piece of business, but if I drink a lot, then I can do more,” said Lu Da.
On Mount Taohua, the principal head of the bandits was thinking of sending one of his men to inquire about his second-in-command’s marriage. When the armed bandits returned with a defeated appearance he asked why they were in such disorder, and they told him that their second-in-command had been defeated. At this he was surprised, but while he was listening to details, his assistant arrived. He noticed that he was not wearing the usual red cloth round his head, and that his green dress was in tatters. As he dismounted in front of the main building he called, “Elder brother, please save me,” and when he was asked for an explanation, he continued, “I went down the mountain to the village where Grandpa Liu lives, and found that the detestable old donkey had hidden the woman, and had got a big monk to be on the bed in her place. I was quite unprepared for attack, and when I groped my way to the bed, and touched him, he hit me with his fists, kicked me, and severely maltreated me. When my men entered the room he chased them out, and while this was happening I managed to get away. Elder brother, I want revenge.”
The principal bandit leader answered, “So, this is it! You rest indoors, while I go and seize this bald-headed thief.” He then commanded his men to get his horse ready. He mounted, and led his men down the mountain, who shouted as they went along. Lu Da was drinking wine, when a servant reported that the bandits were again approaching. “Keep cool!” said Lu Da, “I will knock them down, and you can tie them up and take them to the yamen. Let somebody bring my sword.” He then took off his long gown, tucked his short underclothing in his belt; put on his broad sword; he picked up the iron monk’s staff, and strode to the gate where he saw the bandit leader seated on a horse and holding a spear, surrounded by many torches. He heard him shout, “Where is that bald-headed donkey? Tell him to come at once as we must fight out the matter.” Lu Da was angry and abused him, “You dirty rascal! You shall certainly recognize me.” He then lifted his iron monk’s staff and whirled it round.
The leader of the bandits called, “The sound of your voice is familiar to me. What is your name?”
Lu Da answered, “I am none other than Major Lu Da, in the employment of Grand Secretary Liang. Just now, however, I am a monk called Lu Zhishen.”
The leader of the bandits laughed, and dismounted, and threw away his spear, knelt down, and making salutations said, “Is my elder brother quite well? I am aware that my younger brother felt the weight of your hand.”
As Lu Da suspected that was a trick he retreated several steps, and examined the man closely by the light of the torches. He then recognized him as a drill instructor who had often sold medicine on the streets, and was named Li Zhong, with a nickname “The Tiger Fighting General.” In those days the thieves did not consider it advisable to say “kneel down” in their band, so they used another expression, “Scissors and Brush”; as a kind of code. Li Zhong now arose and said, “Elder brother, why are you a monk?”
“I will talk that over with you indoors,” replied Lu Da.
When Grandpa Liu heard this he was afraid of more trouble, as he thought that they both were thieves. When Lu Da was inside, put on his clothes, sat at a table, and called for Grandpa Liu, the latter did not care to come. So Lu Da said, “Grandpa, you need not fear. He is my younger brother.” When Grandpa Liu heard this he was more confused: still he came forward, and sat on Lu Da’s left. Lu Da gave a résumé of how he had killed the Bully and afterwards entered a monastery where he became drunk on two occasions, had been expelled, and sent to Kaifeng.
Li Zhong explained that when he heard Lu Da had killed the butcher at Weizhou, he tried to find him. Hearing the police wished to arrest him, he also went away. He happened to pass near this mountain and was attacked by the bandits in charge of Zhou Tong, nicknamed “Little Tyrant”: but he repulsed them, so they invited him to join them as their leader.
“As things are like this you need not say anything about the bridal fiasco,” said Lu Da, “because if Zhou Tong had taken the girl, her father would have become a vagrant.”
Grandpa Liu was much pleased at this and ordered the servants to bring wine and food, and entertained his two guests well. He also ordered that each of the bandits was to have two small loaves of bread, two slices of meat, and a big cup of wine. Lu Da told Li Zhong to take the gold and silk, prepared by Grandpa Liu and give them back to “Little Tyrant.” Li Zhong asked both of them to come to the stronghold on the mountain and stay for a few days: this was agreed to. Sedan chairs were prepared for Lu Da and Liu, while Li Zhong rode his horse. It was daybreak, and upon arrival at the stronghold they entered the hall to discuss matters. Zhou Tong was sent for, but when he saw the monk he was angry, and said, “So my elder brother has not carried out my revenge, but asked the monk to come, and invited him to sit in the premier place.”
Li Zhong laughed, “This monk is the one who killed the Bully with three blows of his fist, about which I have told you many times.”
Zhou Tong rubbed his head and exclaimed, “Ai Ya!”55 He then knelt and saluted Lu Da, who returned the compliment, saying, “Pray excuse my intrusion.” They all sat down and Lu Da explained the position to Zhou Tong, advising him to break his engagement, and find a better girl. The wedding presents were handed to him. Zhou Tong agreed to this, and promised to let the matter drop, saying, “This is a vow taken with the breaking of an arrow.”
Grandpa Liu was satisfied and returned home while the bandits prepared a feast for Lu Da. During the following days they took their guest all over the mountain to see the splendid wild scenery. The mountain was covered with grass and trees, and was difficult of access, there being only one road. After a few days, however, Lu Da saw that Li Zhong and Zhou Tong were mean, and had no nobility in their natures. When he told them he wanted to leave, they pressed him to remain but he reminded them he being a monk could not join them.
The bandit chiefs said, “As you have definitely decided to go, please wait until tomorrow, when we will go down the mountain, and plunder somebody for some money, which we will give you for your traveling expenses.”
The next day they made a big banquet at which the wine cups were of gold and silver, but just as they sat down one of their men came to report that below were two carts with about ten travelers. Upon hearing this the bandit chiefs summoned their followers and said to Lu Da, “Elder brother, you will have to drink our wine by yourself, but we will leave two men to wait upon you. We must go and get the money for you.” So saying they left with their men.
Lu Da thought, “These two men are certainly very mean as they have plenty of gold and silver here to give me, but instead they want to plunder other people for money and give it to me. Is not this being generous at other people’s expense? So I will frighten these two men who are attending on me.” He then told the men to bring him some warm wine, and after drinking some he got up and knocked them down with his fists. He then took their girdles, and tied their arms and legs. He gagged them with balls of hempen thread; he opened his bundles and threw away everything that was not needed; and then taking the gold and silver cups he made them flat by stamping on them, and packed them in his bundles. He hid the letter from Abbot Chen in his breast pocket; put on his sword; picked up his monk staff, and left the stronghold. He had a good look round, and saw that the mountain behind the stronghold was very wild. If, however, he went down the mountain by the ordinary road he was sure to meet the brigands, so he decided to descend the mountain by rolling down through the grass. He tied his broad sword, and the monk staff to the bundle, and threw them down the steep slope. He then rolled himself down to the foot of the mountain without sustaining any injury. He soon