“I am not as good as Guan Gong, but he was only a man,” said Lu Da.
“According to my idea, a staff of say sixty-two jin will be heavy enough.”
“Now according to your account of Guan Gong’s great halberd, make me one of eighty-one jin,” said Lu Da.
“Reverend, it will be very big. It will not look well, and will be inconvenient to use. I think it would be better to make one of sixty-two jin, and have it brightly polished. But if you cannot use it, do not blame me. As you have decided upon it, we need not go into details: we will use the best iron and make it here.”
“How much do you want for making them?” asked Lu Da.
“Not more than five taels of silver,” replied the blacksmith.
“I will accept your word, so here is the money,” said Lu Da. “If it is well made I will give you extra money.” The blacksmith received the money, and said, “It shall be done at once.”
Lu Da walked a short distance from the shop and saw the signboard of a wine shop. He lifted the curtain at the door, entered, and sat down. He tapped on the table, calling for wine.
“Excuse me, Reverend,” said the innkeeper, “this wine shop belongs to the monastery, which furnished the capital. The Abbot controls our affairs and does not like us to sell wine to men from his monastery, but should we do so, he would expel us, so do not consider it impolite if we cannot supply you.”
“Never mind that.” replied Lu Da, “you can sell me some wine and I will not say a word about it.”
“I cannot do that,” answered the innkeeper. “Please go to another place and don’t think us rude.”
Lu Da rose, saying, “I will go and will not talk further with you.” Going out a few paces, he saw a flag over the door of a wine shop. He entered, sat down and called for wine. “Reverend, you evidently do not understand that the Abbot controls our affairs, and so by coming here you endanger our livelihood.”
Lu Da was determined to have wine but he knew that they would not sell any. He tried some more shops with the same result. In the distance he saw a broom hanging in front of a house which was situated in a cluster of the apricot trees. Upon approaching he found it was a small inn just outside the village. He went in and sat down near the window, calling, “Innkeeper, I am a stranger here and I want a cup of wine.”
The proprietor looked at him carefully, “Reverend, where do you come from?”
“I am a traveling monk, and I happened to pass here.” “If you are from the monastery at Mount Wutai, I cannot sell you any wine.”
“I do not come from there. Bring me some wine quickly.”
The proprietor saw that Lu Da had the manner and speech of another district, so asked how much wine he wanted. “Bring me a large cup of warm wine,” said Lu Da. “What meat can I have with it?”
“This morning I had some beef, but it is now all finished.”
Lu Da could smell the meat which was being cooked, so going outside he saw along the wall an earthen boiler, containing dog’s flesh. He said, “Why don’t you sell me this?”
“I was afraid that a monk may not eat the dog’s flesh.”
“I have some silver,” said Lu Da, offering it to the proprietor, “let me have half of the dog.”
The proprietor prepared the dish with some powdered garlic, and placed it before Lu Da who tore the flesh apart with his fingers and dipping it in the garlic, ate it. Although he drank ten cups of wine, he still wanted more. The innkeeper was afraid and remarked he had had enough. Lu Da stared at him, “I will pay you, so why interfere?” The man asked how much he wanted and Lu Da said, “A bucketful.” This was supplied and Lu Da drank it rapidly. There was still a leg of the dog which he picked up and put in his breast. As he left the inn, he said that he would come again the next day. The proprietor was speechless on hearing this, and saw that he was going in the direction of Mount Wutai.
Lu Da walked halfway up the mountain and rested in an arbor till the effect of the wine passed away. At last, getting up, he said to himself, “For a long time I have had no drill in hand combat and feel my body is not in good form—I will have a little practice here. Taking his long sleeves, he rolled up the ends and thrust in all directions. He was swinging his arm, when he struck against a pillar of the arbor with such force as to break it, and it fell with a great crash. The doorkeeper of the monastery heard this noise, and looking below saw that Lu Da was staggering up the path. He said, “Much trouble! This brute is extremely drunk again.” He closed the gate, and taking the bar fastened it. Then gazed through a crack in the door, and watched Lu Da approaching. When Lu Da reached the door he struck it with his fist but the gatekeeper dared not open it. Lu Da turned and saw on the left side of the door, a guardian idol, covered with gilt, to which he shouted, “You big prick, why do you not knock the door for me, instead of frightening me with that attitude: but I am not afraid of you.” He then mounted the steps—took hold of the railings in front of the idol, and pulled them up, as if plucking onions. He took one of the broken rails and struck the idol: the painted clay fell to the ground. The gatekeeper seeing this ran to report it to the Abbot. Lu Da then turned, and saw another gilded idol, at which he shouted, “You are opening your mouth wide, and laugh at me.” He ascended the steps on that side and struck the foot of the idol twice with the railing. There was a tremendous noise as the idol fell to the ground at which Lu Da laughed loudly.
When the Abbot heard of the matter, he said, “We must not make him angry: you had better go away.” A crowd of monks had collected, and they said, “That wild cat is extremely drunk. He has broken the arbor and the idols at the entrance. What shall we do?”
“Since ancient times the Emperor has always avoided drunken men, so why should I not do the same,” said the Abbot. “As to the images and the arbor he destroyed, the patron will repair them.”
The monks left the Abbot’s quarters saying, “How stupid is our Abbot. The doorkeepers do not open the door but listen.”
Outside, Lu Da was shouting, “You thieving stinking bald-headed donkeys! If you do not let me enter the monastery I will set fire to the building.”
The monks upon hearing this told the gatekeepers to draw the bar and let the brute in. They did this quietly and stealthily, and then hurried into the buildings to hide themselves. The monks also got out of the way.
Lu Da using both hands pushed against the doors with great force and fell to the ground as they opened. Scrambling up, he rubbed his head, and then rushed into the meditation hall. There were many visiting monks seated in contemplation, and they were alarmed at his sudden, noisy entrance. Lu Da went to the side of the hall and vomited. The monks were disgusted with the stench and covered their noses with their hands. Lu Da got on a bed, took off his silk belt, and tore apart the fastenings of his clothes, and the dog’s leg fell out. “How nice,” he said picking it up, “I am very hungry just now.” So saying, he ate it. Upon seeing this the monks covered their faces with their sleeves, and those on both sides of him withdrew. Lu Da seeing this movement, offered a piece of the dog’s leg to a monk who covered his face with his sleeves. Lu Da asked why he did not eat it, and then pushed the flesh at the lips of another monk. About five monks on neighboring beds leapt forward to intervene but Lu Da throwing the meat away hit the monk with his fist several times. This raised a loud shout from the monks who went to the cupboards to get their clothes and alms bowls with the idea of leaving. This created a general confusion which the monk in charge could not control. The superintendent summoned all the servants, including groundsmen, cooks’ assistants, messengers, sedan-chair carriers, altogether about two hundred men, who seized sticks, rice shovels, staffs and cudgels, and placing towels round their heads, entered the hall in a body. Upon seeing them Lu Da howled, and, having no weapon, hurried to the center of the hall, pushed over