A woman’s response to sexual stimulation is usually more subtle. Unlike a man, whose reaction is almost immediate, a woman’s arousal is on a slow “simmer” that gradually increases in intensity. To fully enjoy the sexual experience, most women must connect both mentally and physically with their partner. The more emotionally involved a woman is with her partner, the more enthusiastically her body will often respond. As her state of arousal heightens, her breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure increase. Blood accumulates in various regions of her body, causing her skin to flush. The vaginal area swells and lubricates in anticipation of sexual intercourse and tension develops throughout her body until an orgasm occurs. When all parts of one’s body are functioning as they should, the sexual act can be fulfilling and raise a relationship to a higher level.
Physical and emotional connections do more than inspire great nations to be conquered, buildings to be built, and poetry to be composed, they bind two people together in a way that can withstand any physical or emotional challenge. When diabetes enters your relationship, however, it can affect how you relate to your partner on both a physical and emotional level.
You may not be ready to erect massive monuments, fall onto a sword, or compose poetry that will be quoted by generations to come, but the intimate relationship that you have with a loved one deserves to be cherished, nurtured, and protected. Remember how you fell in love? What it was like to be together intimately for the first time? How about the wonderful “pillow talk” that you enjoyed after sharing an intimate embrace? If diabetes has stolen romance from your relationship, you can bring it back. Don’t deny yourself the most intimate expression of caring that a couple can share.
This book should be able to provide you with guidance. Diabetes may change the way you experience certain pleasurable moments in your life, but it doesn’t have to steal them from you altogether. You can enjoy a new level of intimacy with your partner. As the comedian Joan Rivers likes to ask, “Can we talk?” Yes we can.
HISTORIC ROMANCES:
Shah Jahan and Arjumand Banu Begum
India’s stunningly beautiful Taj Mahal was built as a monument to memorialize the love that Emperor Shah Jahan had for his wife. Shah Jahan was born in 1592. At the young age of 14, he met Arjumand Banu Begum, the prime minister’s 15-year-old daughter and was immediately smitten. He quickly ran off to purchase a diamond for the price of 10,000 rupees ($300) and announced his desire to take her as his wife. The couple married five years later. When he ascended to the throne in 1628, he included his wife in many legislative duties and she accompanied him on military campaigns and even advised him on affairs of state. He adored her and called her Mumtaz Mahal, the “jewel of the palace.” She was loved and admired by her people, was famous for her generosity, and was considered a woman of legendary beauty and virtue.
But tragedy entered the lives of the two lovers when Mumtaz Mahal died while giving birth to their 14th child. Shah Jahan was heartbroken. Determined to find a way to keep her memory alive, he emptied most of the money from the royal treasury and fulfilled his wife’s dying wish—he built a monument, the famous Taj Mahal, to memorialize their love. Eventually, Shah Jahan fell ill and a struggle for the throne began. Shah Jahan’s son, Aurangzeb, imprisoned him and kept him from his most precious possession—his view of the Taj Mahal. Fortunately, he was able to procure a tiny mirror, which caught the reflection of his treasured building and enabled him to see it once again. When he died in 1666, he was buried in the Taj Mahal with his wife.
FOR YOU AND YOUR PARTNER
1 Answer the quizzes found at the end of this chapter (Have Diabetes-Related Sexual Complications Entered Your Life? (for men)–Have Diabetes-Related Sexual Complications Entered Your Life? (for women)).
2 Discuss your results with each other and identify issues of concern and misunderstanding.
3 Keep these issues in mind as you read this book.
QUIZ 1:
Have Diabetes-Related Sexual Complications Entered Your Life? (for men)
1. Have you been experiencing difficulty recently in achieving erections that you and your partner consider adequate for vaginal intercourse?
2. Do you have difficulty performing intercourse in more than half of your attempts?
3. Does this problem with erection difficulty occur when you are with a partner?
4. Does this problem with erection difficulty occur when you are alone?
5. How often have you been experiencing difficulty in achieving erections?
6. Does it take longer to achieve an erection than in the past?
7. Has it become more difficult to have intercourse in certain positions?
8. Have you ever been told that you have some form of cardiovascular disease or heart disease?
9. Have you ever been told that you have an elevated cholesterol level?
10. Has your desire for intercourse changed?
11. Has your partner’s desire for intercourse changed?
12. Is your blood sugar under control?