How exciting! When I received the invitation to write the foreword to Sex and Diabetes, I immediately became quite nostalgic. As Surgeon General of the United States (1993-1994) during the Clinton administration, I voiced the need for a responsible and comprehensive sex education program for our nation, and now, to my great delight, I have the opportunity to speak again about this very topic.
Humans are passionate beings who love to be loved, held, and connected to others on both a physical and emotional level. This closeness affects our quality of life and ability to withstand the stresses of an ever-changing world. Our intimate relationships support us through tough times and also help us celebrate joyous ones.
When these intimate bonds are hampered by a medical condition like diabetes, the negative effects can resonate throughout every area of our lives—our support systems can become strained, our self-confidence may wane, and our ability to face daily health challenges can waver. Sadly, as important as this area of our life is to our overall health, very few people with sexual complications seek help and only a handful of medical professionals will mention this topic during a visit.
This book is long overdue. As one of the first books on diabetes-related sexual complications, I am certain that it will help a great number of individuals. Sex and Diabetes discusses diabetes-related sexual complications in both men and women, offers treatment options, suggests ways to enhance intimate communication, teaches how to avoid fraudulent products, offers advice on how to discuss sexual complications with a health care provider, and even suggests ways to help rekindle the romance and fun in your relationship. It even contains a delicious assortment of enticing aphrodisiac recipes!
Enjoy this book. Use it to help guide you to a more fulfilling and meaningful intimate relationship. Share it with someone you love and use that strength to enrich all areas of your life.
Joycelyn Elders, MD Former Surgeon General of the United States (1993-1994) Distinguished Professor of Public Health University of Arkansas Medical School
In this chapter:
WOULD THE LOVE of an amazing woman motivate you to build a monument that would be visited by millions? Could the passion that you feel for an incredible man drive you to conquer countries? Great loves have existed from the beginning of time and still exist today. Since the time of Adam and Eve, men and women have connected sexually with one another, and these relationships have created some of the most romantic and exciting stories ever told. The stories retold throughout this chapter are a testament to the power and intensity of the human connection.
THE TWO TYPES OF INTIMACY
Two types of intimacy, physical and emotional, played an enormous role in the lives of some of history’s greatest loves. They can be part of our lives as well.
Physical intimacy
Physical intimacy is all about touch. It involves holding, caressing, sexual attraction, and intimate actions. It is the subject of love songs, poems, and romantic stories. Physical intimacy is what many of us yearn for when we are alone and is what we feel when we connect with someone in a romantic way.
We not only crave the touch of another human being because of the potential pleasure that it brings; the touch of others can help us survive. Research studies show that newborns need a loving touch to develop normally. Within the first few days after birth, infants who are held in their mothers’ loving arms maintain a healthier body temperature than those who are left alone. Young children who are not held or hugged may be at a greater risk for developing body image problems, such as anorexia or bulimia, as they grow. And this need for physical intimacy does not diminish with time. In our golden years, the desire to be sexually active rarely wanes, as many seniors report that they still feel a deep longing for a sexual relationship that includes touching and kissing.
Emotional intimacy
Emotional intimacy is what happens inside of our heads. It is the nonphysical sharing of two people who care deeply about one another. You have emotional intimacy with another person when you feel confident that he or she accepts you for who you are. It develops when you and someone you love share experiences together. You know how your partner wants a morning cup of coffee and can anticipate how she will react to a situation before it happens. It is this bond that takes your partnership to a higher level.
Many experts suggest that the brain is the sexiest organ of all. When an emotional connection develops between two individuals that is built on mutual respect and caring, the relationship becomes far more precious. Physical intimacy is enjoyable on its own, but when combined with emotional intimacy, the passion that develops is special indeed.
HISTORIC ROMANCES:
Cleopatra and Marc Antony
Cleopatra VII, one of the most famous rulers of Egypt, lived a life that was filled with deep and intense sexual activity. As demanded by her position, she initially married her younger brother, Ptolemy, but later became the mistress of the Roman general Julius Caesar. Following Caesar’s death, she discovered her true love—Marc Antony, who had arrived in Egypt to expand the ever-growing Roman Empire. Their affair was scandalous. Despite the protests and risks involved, Marc Antony and Cleopatra married in 36 B.C. and plotted to conquer Rome and claim it as their own. But tragedy struck. Antony heard a false report that Cleopatra had died and fell upon his own sword to end his life. With her beloved Antony dead, Cleopatra took her life by coaxing a poisonous asp to bite her.
THE HUMAN REACTION
When we fall in love, two chemicals are released—phenyethylamine (PEA) and norepinephrine. PEA is an amphetamine-like substance that elevates our moods and helps create the feeling of falling in love that so many of us enjoy. One reason chocolate is such a sought-after delight is because it is a source of PEA. When we eat it, we experience a feeling that resembles this warm and wonderful emotion. Similarly, norepinephrinehas the following effects:
Think back to your first love. If you became tongue-tied, sweaty, and nervous, you felt this way because of the norepinephrine in your system. When Cupid’s arrow strikes and these chemicals are released, our bodies respond more intensely, especially if we are able to transform our attraction into a physical relationship.
When a man experiences a stimulating touch, smell, vision, or thought, his brain activates a group of nerves that tell the tissues of the penis to relax. This allows blood to flow into two tubes inside of the penis that are known as corpora cavernosa. As they fill up, they press onto the veins that usually allow blood to exit and prevent fluid from escaping. The penis then becomes erect and prepares the body for intimacy with a partner. Stimulation causes the penis to contract and send semen out through the urethra, the tube that normally carries urine out from the body. The pleasurable sensation that is felt