I know if Carson was writing this, he would probably say the same thing about me. We’ve been married long enough to finish each other’s thoughts and sentences. But somehow I feel like I got so much more.
I’ve often pondered the secret of a great marriage. My best thought on this is mutual humility. I became a follower of Jesus when I was 12 years old. That was my first profound act of humility. That was when I first admitted my pride and my selfishness to both myself and God. This first moment of humility has made all the other moments of humility possible. And there have been many. This has not been one-sided. Carson became a follower of Jesus when he was 17 years old. This was his first humbling moment with God. Having experienced humility to the depths has allowed both of us to long for forgiveness, which has built great trust between us. It’s worked so well for us for almost 37-plus years…
Another benefit of mutual humility is that it has produced authenticity in our marriage and in our family. I am grateful for a loving, godly and trustworthy husband, who is a ton of fun, very wise, full of adventure, and who loves laughter, loves others and just generally loves life.
Day 46—The List of Things on My Mind
By Brenda Pue—February 15, 2014 4:17 p.m.
There are a number of things that I find myself thinking about these days. So I thought I would download my list. Yes, I am one of those “list” types. The reason is that I have been influenced by a story that I heard years ago and have put it into practice for years in both my ministry context and the home context.
I wish I could remember all the specifics, but here is how I remember the story. A US company hired the president of another successful enterprise as a consultant. What did the company want? They asked the consultant for the number-one business practice to which he would credit the success of his company. They offered to pay him a large sum of money for his help.
So the president agreed to meet with them as a consultant. His idea? Have each person on the leadership team make a list every day of the top ten things to be accomplished and prioritize each item. Tackle the critical must-dos first, working through the list. Any unfinished items simply move to the next day. The business that hired the consultant agreed to try it. It worked so well that they ended up paying the consultant double the agreed-on amount.
When I first heard this story, I decided to try it, and it has been a helpful practice over the years. However, the list that is swirling around in my mind doesn’t lend itself to being an action checklist per se. But here’s a list of what is most on my mind and heart lately:
- the impact that my cancer diagnosis has on my immediate family
- the impact on my parents, siblings, friends, and relatives
- the impact on younger ones
- the impact on Arrow Leadership with my sudden, unanticipated departure
- time for legacy matters
- time for research and pro-active health
- the unknowns of the impact of treatment
- the uncertainty around energy and my tiredness
- our meeting on Monday morning with my new chemotherapy oncologist re lung biopsy results and possible new treatment plan
- wisdom to prioritize my limited energy
- my whole scalp soreness from radiation
- my desire to live in the present while giving attention to some future matters
- living in hope and faith
This is my list. These are the things that wander through my mind and heart that I find myself praying about. If you are a praying person, I invite you to join in. Thanks for every prayer and every encouragement along the way. I know that God is hearing. I sense that He is up to something. I have no idea what, because I’m not Him. And I’m deeply humbled and blessed to have you along on this journey…
Day 47—Grandchildren
By Brenda Pue—February 16, 2014 9:41 p.m.
Today is my second oldest grandson’s birthday. The whole family was there to celebrate. What an incredible privilege it is to be a part of a grandchild’s life. I love experiencing life through a child’s eyes. How refreshing is a child’s sense of wonder at the world! It’s so good for us busy and overwhelmed adults to be with children (and I would add dogs too). Children and dogs have no idea how to be anything other than who they are. There is something so wonderful about that. We all need children in our lives.
Photo credit: Tania Di Meglio, RedHanded Photography
I also believe [in] investing in following generations as a great trust as well. I want to pass along my love, values and faith to the next generation and the next. It’s my joy and my responsibility. It requires time and effort to invest in children and grandchildren, but it pays huge dividends—I would say eternal dividends. If I am given more time on this earth, this is how I want to invest my life…serving generations that follow and serving my God wholeheartedly.
For Christmas, our kids gave us a gift of a family photo shoot. We had planned to do the photos [in] late spring or early summer. When we received the news of my cancer diagnosis we decided to do the photos right away. Enjoy this photo of my beautiful grandkids.
Day 48—Medical Update and Faith Words
By Brenda Pue—February 17, 2014 7:19 p.m.
Carson and I met with my new oncologist this morning at 9 a.m. She is a chemotherapy oncologist. My last oncologist specialized in radiation. We learned that my last lung biopsy was inconclusive in terms of a chemotherapy treatment plan. This was the last thing we expected to hear today, even though this is not unusual. So we made the decision to move forward with one more lung biopsy. This will be my third and last biopsy. So I’m hopeful that this procedure will be conclusive. A request has been made for the biopsy to be done in a week. Then waiting for results. Then sorting out a treatment plan. And so we wait…
In the meantime, I have been pondering a verse in the Bible: “Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4 NIV).
What this means for me as I walk this road is that there is so much more to my life than my physical, material being. If that is all I have as I travel along, I’m pretty much doomed. The hope part of my journey is that I live on every word that comes from the mouth of God.
As I think on that, I realize that I need to read and digest God’s words and His perspective on everything, including cancer.
I received an affirmation of this today. I read a true story about a woman who was given three weeks to live. She took to heart the story in the Bible from John 2:1–12 where Jesus’ mother said to some servants, “Do whatever he tells you” (NIV). Twenty-two years later, this lovely woman still lives by “Do whatever God tells you.” In other words, she has taken the time to absorb God’s Word daily for 22 years.
I’ve found [that] God’s words have been profound all my life. Now, I feel like God’s words are life itself. This is the kind of bread I want to eat every day!
Our day ended better than it started. We met with our kids tonight to talk through our disappointment and to pray together. How I love doing this journey with our family…they are amazing. Total blessing!
Day 49—How or When?
By Brenda Pue—February 18, 2014 10:16 p.m.
I’m