She didn’t want to disturb Gus, so she approached quietly once she was close, watching the riders compete for the ball, heading toward the goal. From her vantage point, she snuck a quick glance at the old man before her and felt sad, it was like he’d shrunk a little and aged so quickly, but it was unmistakably the same kind person who had been so good to her for so many years.
“Go, go, go!” She jumped as Gus screamed, waving his stick again.
As one of the players made a goal he threw his stick, one hand pumping up in a fist. She couldn’t help but laugh.
“Gus.” Her voice was soft but he turned immediately on the spot, his eyes meeting hers.
Gus looked her over for a moment before a big smile spread out wide over his face.
“Rebecca! Well, look at you.”
He held out his arms and she reached him in no time, embracing him fondly.
“It’s so good to be back here, to see you,” she mumbled, holding him tight.
He smiled at her as she stepped back, his eyes shining.
“Just look at you. Look at you, huh? All grown-up.”
She beamed, embarrassed yet flattered. Before she could answer a voice interrupted them, sending her almost a foot in the air with fright.
“Becca.”
Ben. She would recognize that voice anywhere. Deep, rich and delicious. He sat astride a blowing, sweaty polo pony that was now dancing very close to her.
“Good goal, son. I’ll walk him back for you.”
Ben jumped to the ground and passed Gus the reins.
“You sure you’re okay taking him?”
The older man just looked skyward, eyes rolling. Bec knew it would take more than a highly strung horse to keep him from where the action was, walking cane or not.
Bec stole a glance at Ben while his attention was still directed at the horse before looking away. If only he wasn’t so handsome, so charming, so...not available. Or possibly available, she had no idea if he had a girlfriend or not, but not available to her. She was all about no complications, being a mother, nothing else. Nothing else, she repeated inside her head just in case her body was thinking of disagreeing. She’d been happy being friends with him for so long, but ever since that night...
“Hey.”
He was talking to her. Damn it! And there she was away in fairyland.
“You looked good out there.” It was all she could think to say, but the truth was she hadn’t even realized he was the one in the saddle.
“Yeah, well, I’m happy to be home, but I’m still craving some saddle time.” He grinned at her and pulled his helmet off, turning toward the field where some of the guys were still training, and ran a hand through his short hair. “You ever think about getting back up again?”
It had been a long time for her, a dream she’d long since given up, and now she was a mom she was way more cautious than she’d once been. The allure of the polo field now was more about watching than actually doing. And besides, that fall had almost broken her. It had taken everything away from her; her dreams, her future. And Ben.
“Maybe,” she lied. Or maybe it wasn’t a lie. Being back here was giving her all sorts of mixed emotions, making her question everything. “It’s not something I’ve really thought about, to be honest.”
Ben turned to her then and reached out a hand, touching her arm so lightly she almost wondered if she was imagining it.
“It’s great to have you here, Bec.”
She struggled for words, her skin tingling where he’d touched her. They’d been best friends for years, before one night had changed everything, and now she could hardly look at him without thinking about the fact she’d seen him naked. And how darn good he’d looked.
“It feels good being back here.” She hardly trusted her voice.
He started to walk and she followed his lead, his long legs eating up the ground.
“There’s something about this place, Bec. It’s good for the soul.”
He stopped then, turning to face her, pulling her hands into his and holding them tight. He studied her with such intensity she didn’t know where to look or what to say.
“I’m sorry, Bec, for expecting you to stay in touch after what happened, for leaving you in the first place,” he said, his voice low. “I never stopped thinking about you, but it all just got so complicated. So much for best friends, huh?”
Until we ruined it. They were the unspoken words hanging between them.
Bec gulped, her eyes burning with tears. Their friendship? Was that all he wanted from her? Lexie’s beautiful little face flashed before her and she almost told him, so wanted to tell him that he was the father of her beautiful daughter, but she didn’t. Couldn’t yet, even though she knew she had to. Because she also knew that he never wanted children—he’d told her since they were in high school that he wasn’t ever going to be a dad after what he’d been through—and she knew nothing would ever change his mind. But she couldn’t deny him the chance, couldn’t keep this from him any longer.
“I’ve missed you, Ben. But things change, and I guess we just grew apart, right?”
“Maybe we should have both stuck to our plan. Gone to the UK together and both played.”
“It would have been good, huh?” Only the reality was that Ben had been picked up by a team in Argentina, and she hadn’t, and instead of telling him the truth, she’d made out like she couldn’t leave her family. That it wasn’t what she wanted. Maybe if he’d asked her to go as more than friends, maybe if her confidence hadn’t been shattered after the fall and she’d not been such a mess over everything. Maybe then things could or would have been different.
His eyes were as sad as hers as he watched her. “Come on, let’s show you around. There’s something I want you to see.”
Her eyebrows dragged together as he turned and started to walk again, tugging her along with him.
“Well, more like Gus wants you to see it. Just come and take a look.”
Her curiosity was piqued, and she hurried to keep up with him. Make her hair longer, she thought, take away the soft crinkles around his eyes and they could have gone back five or so years. To a time when everything had seemed possible, when they were both in charge of their own destinies, before fate and life had intervened. Before she’d fallen pregnant to a man she’d loved with all her heart, and instead of asking him to stay behind because she loved him, she’d let him go. She couldn’t help but wonder if he would have left and not come home, had she told him how she really felt. If she’d called him and told him that she was pregnant. But then deep down she knew the answer to that.
Ben would never have left her, not if he knew how she felt, if he knew that she was carrying his baby. And that was precisely why she’d lied, told him they’d made a mistake that night, that they were better as friends. Because she didn’t believe in clipping the wings of a bird to keep it at home, and Ben had been like an eagle ready to soar through the sky. And she never wanted to be responsible for ruining Ben’s life, and seeing him repeat the same mistakes his mother had.
“SHE’S BEAUTIFUL.”
Rebecca