‘That predictable, huh?’
Brandon shrugged, perching himself on the corner of Jim’s desk. ‘You okay?’
Jim looked at his son, raising a surprised eyebrow. ‘Any reason why I shouldn’t be?’
‘Last night, when I came round… Maybe I shouldn’t have gone in so heavy-handed. I’m sorry.’
‘I’ve spoken to Amber and I’ve told her everything. About Carrie, about how that had affected the way I loved her; how it had caused me to push her away when… when all I wanted was to be with her.’
Brandon took in a sharp intake of breath. ‘Okay.’
‘I’m assuming you went straight back home and tried to find out more for yourself.’
Brandon held up his hands. ‘Guilty. Of course I did, Dad. You weren’t saying much, and… well, there wasn’t an awful lot there if I’m honest. You guys must have kept that relationship of yours pretty much a secret back then.’
‘Neither of us were big enough or famous enough in our fields to be that interesting at the time, Brandon. But, yeah. We deliberately kept things quiet, kept ourselves to ourselves. It was the way we wanted it.’ Jim looked away as he felt a wave of pain return. It was pain he’d thought he’d seen the last of last night.
‘Dad, I’m sorry. For what happened. When she died it must have…’
‘It was hard.’ Jim didn’t really feel much like talking about this or going over it all again. He’d done all the talking he’d needed to do with Amber. That was the only conversation that really mattered. ‘It was a difficult time, and that caused me to do a lot of things I’m not proud of. I pushed Amber away because I couldn’t face losing someone I loved so much all over again, but that was the wrong thing to do, Brandon. I know that now. And I really don’t want to go over everything again, but let’s just say that last night a lot of things that were broken got fixed.’
‘I’m glad.’ Brandon smiled at his dad. ‘I’m glad that you might finally start to believe that being happy isn’t something to be scared of.’
Jim stood up, walking around the front of his desk. ‘Shouldn’t you be spending the day with that pretty girlfriend of yours?’
‘Ellen? She’s still in bed. And all she’s got planned for today is shopping. No, I’m meeting some of the guys from the squad in town. We’re going for a few drinks, something to eat, maybe even the cinema later. We’re making the most of having a day off.’
Jim frowned. ‘Is everything alright? Between you and Ellen, I mean?’
‘Yeah. Why shouldn’t it be?’
Jim shrugged, digging his hands into his pockets. ‘No reason. I just thought a young guy of your age would rather spend his free time with a beautiful woman than teammates he spends the best part of every day with.’
Brandon slid down from the desk, pushing a hand through his dark hair. ‘Things are fine between me and Ellen. What about you and Amber?’
Jim smiled, a smile he hadn’t felt much like smiling for a long time now. ‘We’re gonna be okay. We’re gonna be just fine.’
‘You’re definitely back together, then?’
‘We’re definitely back together.’ It felt good to say those words out loud. It felt really good. It felt like a whole new start, and Jim couldn’t stop a frisson of excitement from surging through him.
‘Good. Dad, that’s great! But, what about Ryan…?’
‘I can handle Ryan. He isn’t a problem any more. Now, go on, go. Get out of here and enjoy your day off.’
Brandon started walking towards the door, stopping and turning around before he opened it. ‘Are you sure everything’s alright?’
‘Everything’s fine, Brandon. I promise you.’
‘Okay, well, I’ll call you later. And don’t spend all day in here, huh? Try having some fun now and again. It won’t kill you.’
Jim couldn’t help smiling again as he watched his son leave. Maybe things were finally starting to look up. So maybe he should heed Brandon’s advice and start having some fun. After all, hadn’t he told Amber last night how they’d wasted so much time? Did he really want to waste any more?
‘Can I come in?’
He looked up at the sound of her voice, his smile growing wider as she walked through the door, her baby son nestled in the crook of her arm. ‘Hey! I wasn’t expecting to see you… sorry. Is he asleep?’
‘No, but he’s getting there. I just saw Brandon outside. Is everything okay?’
‘Everything’s fine. He’s on his way into town so he just stopped by to say hello.’ Jim watched as she placed Rico’s carry-seat on the couch and gently lowered him into it, kissing his forehead gently. A stab of pain cut across his chest so fast it almost left him breathless – why couldn’t that baby be his? Why couldn’t he have given her the one thing that could have stopped this latest round of crap from happening? ‘The complications don’t go away, do they?’ Jim said quietly.
Amber slowly turned around, her eyes meeting his. ‘Is Rico a problem?’
‘No, baby. No. He isn’t a problem, of course he isn’t. But his daddy might be.’
She looked down at the ground, folding her arms against herself. ‘I’m on my way to speak to him. I just…’ She looked back up at Jim. ‘I needed to see you first. I needed to make sure that what we’re doing… that we both still feel the same way. That we’re both sure this is what we want. That we can handle it all this time around, because that little boy over there, he’s involved in all of this now. And I can’t… I won’t mess up his life the way you…’ She pushed a hand through her hair, looking away for a second before meeting Jim’s eyes once more. ‘I won’t mess up his life, Jim. I won’t do that. And I won’t let anyone else do that either. You take me, you take him, too. Do you understand? And if you can’t handle that…’
Jim walked over to her, pulling her into his arms and kissing her gently. And all she could do was fall against him, giving into a kiss she craved like a drug. ‘I can handle it, okay?’
She returned the smile he gave her, running her thumb lightly over his mouth. ‘Good. Because I love you both. And I need you both. But I can’t promise it’s going to be easy…’
He shut her up with another kiss. ‘Will you stop bringing up negatives that may never actually be a problem?’
‘I’m just being realistic. Jim, this is hard, okay? I mean, last night, it was a shock. And my head’s still all over the place.’
‘One day at a time, baby. One day at a time. And we’ll get there. I promise.’
‘No promises, Jim. Please. You know how I feel. No promises.’
‘Okay. No promises. Just know that everything I said last night, it was the truth. Every word, I meant them.’
‘And that’s all I need to know.’
She closed her eyes again as his mouth lowered down onto hers, pulling her back under his spell, but it would be different this time. Everything would be different. It had to be. Circumstances had changed and nothing was the same any more. So it had to be different.
‘I love you so much,’ she whispered, her fingers running lightly over his rough chin. ‘So much. You have no idea.’
He took hold of her hand. Suddenly he felt like a kid again; could he really wind the clock back and try