She breathed in deeply as she watched him leave, unable to stop her stomach from somersaulting so fast she almost felt dizzy.
Ronnie stood aside to let him through the door. ‘They’ve offered him the job, then?’ His tone was matter-of-fact as he threw the newspapers he was holding down on his desk next to Amber’s.
‘I… that isn’t common knowledge, is it? I mean, he’s only just left the stadium after talking to them…’
‘Chill out, will you? It isn’t common knowledge. But I’m not stupid enough to think he’s come all the way down here on a Thursday just for sex. He’s too professional for that.’
Amber threw him a look as she leaned back against her desk. ‘People are gonna put two and two together, though, aren’t they? If he’s seen down here.’
‘Probably, yes. His name’s already being touted around by the bookies as favourite to be Hollins’ replacement so I wouldn’t think it’ll be too long before the rumour mill is well and truly up and running.’
‘He wants us to move down here.’
Ronnie stopped what he was doing and looked at her. ‘He’s taking the job?’
‘I don’t know. No. I mean, he hasn’t come to a decision yet. We haven’t come to a decision yet.’
‘A fresh start, huh?’
Her eyes met Ronnie’s, and once again she wondered how different her life would have been if they’d stayed a couple. When she thought about it now, those few months they’d been together back when he’d been a player in Manchester and she’d been working as a reporter for New North East, they’d been good. Fun. Uncomplicated. If she’d just let that ride, given that relationship a chance to evolve, could it not have turned into the perfect life she’d been looking for? But she already knew the answer to that. It never would have happened. Because she’d never have left Jim behind. Ryan was right – nobody else had ever stood a chance. ‘Would that be such a bad thing?’
Ronnie said nothing, he just kept his eyes locked on hers for a few seconds longer before breaking the stare.
‘You still think I’m making a mistake, don’t you?’
‘I don’t know what to think any more, Amber. Everything’s changing so quickly, and I’m just scared you’re getting lost in all the crap he surrounds you with. So much that you can’t see the reality.’
‘I can see the reality, Ronnie.’
‘Can you?’ He walked over to her, his hands dug deep in his pockets. ‘Twenty-two years, Amber. He’s been doing this to you for twenty-two years and you had a chance to let go and move on. To leave him and all his shit behind. You had more than one chance to do that.’
‘But I can’t, can I? I tried, remember? For almost sixteen years I stayed away from him, avoided him. Did everything I possibly could to make sure our paths never had a chance to cross. And yet, now… now I regret doing that. Because after what he told me…’ She stopped talking, turning her head away.
‘What did he tell you, Amber? Come on. What was it he told you that’s suddenly changed everything and turned you back into that lovesick kid he prefers you to be?’
‘Do you know what? I don’t need this. And I especially don’t need it from you.’ She turned to leave, but Ronnie grabbed her wrist, swinging her back around to face him.
‘I’m not doing this to be cruel, Amber. Or because I wish it was me instead of him that you just can’t leave alone. I’m doing it because I care about you, and because I’ve been through way too much crap with you, all of it caused by Jim Allen. And every time he does that to you, it kills me. It fucking kills me to see you put yourself through it, time and time again.’
‘He won’t hurt me any more, Ronnie.’
‘Has he promised you that, huh? Has he promised you he won’t hurt you again? Has he promised you he won’t put you through any more shit? Has he promised you that?’
‘He doesn’t make me promises. I won’t let him.’
Ronnie let out a small laugh, full of nothing but cynicism tinged with scorn. ‘Well, there you go, then. And how convenient is that? When it all turns to shit again he can just turn right around and tell you he never made you any promises.’
‘You’re supposed to be my friend,’ she whispered, trying to pull her arm free but his grip on her was firm.
‘I am your friend, Amber. That’s why I’m saying these things. Because I love you too much to see you dragged down again. You’ve got Rico now…’
She finally pulled her arm free. ‘I am tired of people throwing Rico at me as some sort of reason as to why I shouldn’t be with Jim. That isn’t fair on me, it isn’t fair on Rico, and it certainly isn’t fair on Jim.’
Ronnie laughed that laugh again, pushing a hand through his hair. ‘Jesus, Amber, he really has got you reeled in hook, line and sinker, hasn’t he?’
She stared at him, their eyes locked together for what seemed like an eternity. ‘For all my life, Ronnie. For all my life.’
*
Ryan flung open the door and let out a heavy sigh.
‘And I’m really happy to see you, too,’ Ellen said. ‘You look like crap, by the way. Baby been keeping you up?’
‘He’s with his granddad.’
‘So why do you look like you haven’t slept in days?’
‘Because I haven’t. What do you want, Ellen?’
‘I thought you might like a bit of company.’
He leaned against the doorpost, folding his arms. ‘Why would I like some company? I’ve just spent the best part of a day with a whole lot of people and, to be honest, I’d quite like to chill out on my own now.’
‘That’s not very sociable, is it?’
‘I’m not feeling particularly sociable. And haven’t you got a boyfriend who needs your attention?’
‘He isn’t some puppy I just picked up from the shelter.’
Ryan rolled his eyes and walked back inside. Ellen took this as a sign to follow him, seeing as he hadn’t exactly slammed the door in her face.
‘I hear Amber and Jim…’
‘I don’t want to talk about it, Ellen.’
She followed him into the living room, slipping off her coat and throwing it over the back of the sofa. ‘If you want my opinion…’
He turned around to face her, his eyes dark and determined. ‘I don’t.’
‘You deserve better than Amber Sullivan.’
‘I said, I don’t want your opinion, Ellen. I really don’t care what you or anyone else says or thinks because your opinions mean fuck all to me. Do you understand? Your opinion is pointless.’
‘Okay. If that’s the way you feel.’
Ryan frowned as he looked at her. ‘Why are you here, Ellen? I mean, I thought you were all loved-up with Brandon Palmer.’
‘Have I ever said that?’
‘I kind of got the idea that you were, seeing as every time I see you you’re hanging off his arm like some WAG.’
She smiled slightly as she walked over to him. ‘That’s not very nice, Ryan.’
‘I’m really not in the mood, Ellen. Just go home, will you?’