The message of this book is that women must take the stage if they want to have a greater impact on their organizations and greater success in their careers and lives. That journey into the spotlight requires a “center-stage mindset” and the ability to communicate in an inspiring, effective way. Success for women also requires support from their bosses, mentors, and sponsors. Executives and senior managers who lead women will find at the end of each chapter “Advice for Leaders of Women” that will enable them to support and coach the women in their lives and reinforce the teachings in this work.
Taking the Stage provides readers with a proven, practical approach developed by The Humphrey Group in our work with women. My own experience coaching and training was the starting point in my thinking that women must be stronger communicators if they want to succeed – at work and in life. I encouraged each woman I coached to be bolder, stronger, and more confident in her communications – skills that this book teaches. Today our firm has thirty-five instructors and coaches who work with both men and women to make them more confident, inspiring communicators and leaders. Our business is global, and our results are impressive. The ideas, techniques, and successes described in this text reflect our work with clients.
The book also embodies the experience of the many women who have attended our Taking the Stage program – or facilitated it – in locations around the world. I have come to know some of these women personally. Many others have generously shared their growth and courage with me in phone interviews, conference calls, and emails. The women whose stories appear in this book come from all geographies, all industries, and all levels of their organizations. In most cases, I've changed their names and personal details to protect their privacy. But the words and experiences they contributed are accurately reflected in the quoted passages. I am grateful to these brave women – this book could never have been written without their inspiring stories. Taking the Stage is based on original research – our “lab” being The Humphrey Group's work with women and our feedback from firms where more than four hundred thousand women have graduated from our Taking the Stage program. This has given us a powerful source of insight that has shaped our assumptions about how women communicate in business and beyond.
Taking the Stage also complements an impressive recent body of literature that emphasizes the communications challenges women face and their need to speak up more boldly and successfully. These works include Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In, Barbara Annis and John Gray's Work with Me, and Katty Kay and Claire Shipman's The Confidence Code. These works continue the debate about whether women's communication style is a reflection of “nature” or “nurture.” But even with this diversity of viewpoints there is consensus that women can take action to build their own confidence and strengthen their voices in ways that will have a positive and sustained impact on their lives. Taking the Stage focuses on the ACTIONS women can take to develop stronger, more powerful voices and achieve confident communications leadership in all situations – whether they are making a presentation, chatting at a networking event, or pitching an idea.
This book emerges from my own personal journey as well. Taking the Stage is a metaphor for my life. Growing up in a small town in Connecticut, I dreamed of the vast world “out there” and was determined to find a bigger “stage” on which to express myself. The courage that I developed allowed me to move from one field to another: from music, to university teaching, to the corporate world, and finally to my own company. Each stage was larger and filled with more opportunity – though it was never easy transitioning from one stage to the next. And now, looking back, I see that all the qualities I discuss in this book – such as assertiveness, confidence, and a willingness to speak up – were necessary and gradually became part of my self-definition. So this book reflects hard-earned passages in my own life.
Finally, this book deals with qualities and desires deep within all of us. It is our birthright to be heard. We were born with voices – loud, penetrating voices – and there is absolutely no reason why women should feel obliged to surrender those voices in the face of obstacles. This book is ultimately an affirmation of our life force.
Introduction
In January 2001, I sat down to prepare a speech that I would deliver to 350 women managers and executives. Though I had enthusiastically accepted this opportunity to promote my firm, I felt a pang of regret after agreeing to speak.
The prospect was daunting. Although I had spoken to smaller groups of forty or fifty people, I had never addressed such a large business audience. I wouldn't be able to “chat” with them as I did with more intimate gatherings; I might not even be able to see them, with the stage lights in my eyes. To add to the pressure, my company – The Humphrey Group – had spent the past decade teaching others how to speak. Many of the women in my audience were executives who recently had received speech coaching from us – or from me personally. They'd likely expect flawless execution from me as head of the firm. Despite the fact that I'd prepared and rehearsed several times, I took the podium with some trepidation.
No wonder my opening words were: “Talk about pressure!” I added that now “the shoe – or the high heel – was on the other foot,” because I was the one being scrutinized. That moment of honesty grounded me and made them laugh. I went on to tell the women in the room that “this is what it means to take the stage.” I continued, “Every time you walk up to that podium, or stand in front of an audience, or meet with a client or a boss, there are expectations that you'll influence and inspire your listeners.” I then introduced my main message: “While we women all too often are reluctant to take the stage, we can and must do so if we want to realize our capacity for leadership.”1
The speech was an awakening for me – a realization that I did have it in me to take the stage in front of such a large group. The speech was transformational for my audience because so many in the room had never heard this message before. The concept of “taking the stage” had come to me as a result of all the coaching I and my colleagues had provided to women. Initially, we had trained mostly men – C-suite executives who wanted to be superb speakers. Gradually, as more and more women entered the picture, it became obvious that – unlike many of the men we'd trained – women were uncomfortable in the spotlight. We realized that they needed special encouragement to overcome their sense of inadequacy, put themselves out there, and speak as strong, confident leaders.
This was the first time I had delivered that message, and there was stillness in the room as I spoke. I had never seen such rapt attention. Afterward, the attendees approached me and urged me to create a seminar that would show them and the women reporting to them how to take the stage. We now offer that seminar both publicly and in-house to our client companies.
I am grateful to the women who were in that room that day and for the tens of thousands of women around the world who have attended our Taking the Stage program since then. They have taught me about the deep desire so many women have to express themselves more fully and more confidently. They have shown me the power of this book's message: women must come out from the wings and take the stage if they want to have a greater impact on their organizations and their own careers.
Overview of the Book
I've written this book so women can find their own strong voices, seize new opportunities to lead, and advance their careers. If women lack confidence, as Katty Kay and Claire Shipman make clear in their superb book, The Confidence Code, then it's time for women to take action on their own behalf.2 Taking the Stage puts forth a compelling strategy for reversing traditional female socialization, thereby helping us become more comfortable in the spotlight. It will show you how to take your rightful place on the corporate stage to advance yourself and your ideas. The Humphrey Group's work with tens of thousands of women for more than twenty-five years has given us a powerful source of insight that has shaped our assumptions about how women communicate in business and beyond.
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