5 Voices. Cockram Steve

and patterns as we begin to act out what is in our minds. Again, imagine if others understood what you were really trying to say most of the time. Wouldn't that be nice? Listen to how this dad talks about his son:

      “It makes sense now,” a seasoned leader said with relief. “Now I know why I have such a hard time hearing my son. I am a Pioneer and he is a Nurturer. We speak a different language and are not hearing each other. I get it now, I am always thinking about the future, and he is always thinking about people. We have been at such odds, and now I realize that it is simply our wiring and the patterns of our voice that has brought the most consternation.”

      Voilà! This is what it sounds like when a humble father starts valuing the voice of his son. This is what maturity sounds like. The 5 Voices has led them to an appreciation of each other as well as given them a common language to understand one another where previously there had been nothing but frustration.

       Understanding the 5 Voices

The 5 Voices is a lens to help you see others while speaking your native tongue. It gives each of us a way to understand how we sound to others and how we interact with the world. Each voice has particular attributes that make it recognizable, as well as typical behavior tendencies, both positive and negative. All five voices are needed in organizations and groups, and one is not more important than the other. In the chapters ahead, we will describe in depth the distinguishing characteristics of each voice, but the first thing we want you to learn about the voices is that some, as you can see illustrated in Figure 2.1, are louder than others. The Pioneer is the loudest voice and the voice that can get into the red zone where volume and force of opinion are concerned. Connectors are the second loudest, followed by Guardians. Creatives and Nurturers are the quieter voices and, as you'll see, can be easily overpowered by Pioneers and Connectors.

Figure 2.1 5 Voices Tool

      Everyone has the capacity to use all five voices, but some of them are more natural to us than others. The voice that feels most natural is what we call our foundational voice. The other voices, which play a supporting role in the way we are heard and behave, are filtered through that primary, foundational voice, and depending on our circumstances and external influences, the predominance of those other voices can shift and become more visible at different points in our lives.

      Both of us, Jeremie and Steve, have different foundational voices. Jeremie's foundational voice is Connector, while Steve's foundational voice is Pioneer. We are both quite loud, as our wives and friends can attest. Loudness is not the only distinguishing feature, but a simple reality as you begin to understand the voices, and an important one, as louder voices can dominate softer ones. Remember, our goal in sharing the 5 Voices tool is to help you know what your voice sounds like and to help you learn to value and truly hear the others.

      As a way for you to see how the voices work, here's a short experiment: Get a piece of paper and grab a pen. Write your signature somewhere on your piece of paper. You probably didn't have to think about what you were doing at all, right? You just did it reflexively. Now, write your signature again, but this time with the other hand. Wow, that wasn't easy, was it? You likely had to concentrate on each letter as you wrote it and some of your perfectionist tendencies surfaced as you tried your hardest to make the signature flow as smoothly as it does with your natural hand.

      That's the best analogy to describe the voices. The first signature came from your dominant hand as you automatically picked up the pen and started writing your name. It's natural; it flows and you don't have to think about it. Of the 5 Voices, you will find there are at least two that are like your dominant hand. They're easy to access and people hear them clearly whenever you communicate. Similarly, for most of us, there are usually a couple of voices that are like our secondary hand. These voices are much more mechanical, clunky-feeling, even, and they are far harder to access because they are not natural for us. We not only find the two hard to speak ourselves, we also find them more difficult to value and engage with when we hear them. Maturity is learning to value the contribution each voice brings to the table and creating environments where each voice can be truly heard. Listen to how Diana Bocaneala, head of talent management for Endava in Cluj, Romania, describes this maturing process:

      Before understanding the 5 Voices concept, I was asking myself what was wrong with me? Why was I getting bored in discussions about feelings, or even worse, why were people telling me that I didn't understand them when I worked to solve their issues with them? After learning that my foundational voice is Pioneer, I now understand more clearly what it's like to be on the other side of my leadership. It was liberating to realize there was nothing wrong with me! I'm just different. And people around me are different as well. All the voices bring something unique and different and I'm working hard to make sure my strategic, challenging Pioneer voice doesn't dominate and overpower the other voices on my team.

      This may sound easy but becoming aware of my unconscious incompetence has been painful, and I have had to apologize to a lot of people! I still don't get it right every time but I'm making progress and people are noticing it.

      Your voice is vital! Whether you are in an organization or in a family, your voice represents your role, your perspective, and your contribution. Your voice is valuable when it is used for the greater good. We are going to help you discover your voice and hone it until it becomes healthy and productive for everyone around you.